# Flatulent Office Mates **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652 "2014-07-08T17:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/41 "2014-07-10T20:41:58Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > “_I_ am the one who farts.” [/Walter White] It’s comments like this that brighten even the darkest of days, and why SDMB is such a place of joy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/42 "2014-07-10T20:57:34Z")
I’m a high school teacher, so farting at work is tricky. One of my colleagues and I have discussed this at length. We’ve observed that if you’re sitting at your desk and your students are working at their desks, then your letting out a “silent but deadly” fart will ensure that a student will immediately approach you to ask a question, whereupon you will try to keep a straight face and answer their question while both of you try to pretend that the air around your desk doesn’t smell like a barrel full of rotten eggs. The same colleague, though, proudly bragged to me about his practice of farting silently while walking around the classroom, monitoring the students as they work, trailing his noxious odor along behind him and watching the students’ faces one-by-one as the smell reaches them and they react. I generally try to hold them in until the passing periods when I can let fly, but if the internal pressure is too great and I don’t think I can slip it out silently, I’ll make an excuse to leave the room for a minute (“I’ve gotta go grab something from the lab room real quick”) and let it rip in solitude. And of course there’s always plenty of teenage boys in class to draw blame when it’s not obvious who “dealt it.” ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/43 "2014-07-10T21:01:10Z")
I work at home - unfortunlately, passing the blame is no longer possible. That being said - I doubt I could _ever_ work in a cube farm again. [QUOTE=Tangent] The same colleague, though, proudly bragged to me about his practice of farting silently while walking around the classroom, monitoring the students as they work, trailing his noxious odor along behind him and watching the students’ faces one-by-one as the smell reaches them and they react. [/QUOTE] “Crop Dusting” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/44 "2014-07-10T21:05:38Z")
We had a middle-aged gal where I used to work who would “drop a cloud” as she walked down the hall. Pity the fool in her wake. She was dubbed by more than a few of us as “The Phantom Pooter.” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/45 "2014-07-10T21:15:33Z")
> [@simster](#): > > “Crop Dusting” Yes–that’s what he calls it, too! 😃 I teach one class in a different room from my normal classroom, and so during the passing period I have to walk through the crowded hallways to the other end of our fairly large academic wing. That’s become a prime ‘crop dusting’ opportunity for me. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/46 "2014-07-10T22:04:22Z")
> [@Absinthe\_Anecdote](#): > > That Creatine guy would often unleash his stench in elevators, I was always reluctant to get on an elevator with him. > > I got revenge on him by soaking a paper towel in the juice from a sardine can, and then hiding it in the modular furniture of his workstation. Try steamed broccoli. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/47 "2014-07-10T22:22:29Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Signals, huh? Go Jimmy. Signals once, Signals twice… Been a while though - went to the Darkside 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/48 "2014-07-10T22:24:45Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I fart at work sometimes & the OP’s cow-orkers work at farting. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2014, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652/49 "2014-07-12T12:14:34Z")
My boss once warned me when she was about to unleash a particularly stinky fart, but it’s not like it’s a recurring problem. Though sometimes she gets the same stench by bringing hard-boiled eggs for lunch… P.U. I had a teacher in 9th grade who said at the beginning of the year that he would sometimes fart in class, and implied that he’d blame it on a student. Though I don’t remember that ever happening. Maybe flatulent office mates are a good thing - the smell of farts [may prevent cancer](http://www.neatorama.com/2014/07/11/the-smell-of-farts-may-prevent-cancer/). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flatulent-office-mates/692652.md?page=2)