# Fling me a non-English pun, please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730 "2005-12-15T15:30:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/21 "2005-12-15T18:45:15Z")
There’s this horrible, lecherous man who walks with a limp, and he walks into a bar. There’s this pretty girl sitting at the bar. The guy sits next to her and starts slobbering on her. She screams, “COJO HORRIBLE!” So the guy says, “Don’t worry, young lady, _I’ll_ teach you how!” (“cojo horrible” = either “you horrid cripple!” or “I’m terrible at screwing”) ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/22 "2005-12-15T18:45:45Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Joke: “Eso si que es” translates roughly as “That’s it.” A beauty! How do you say “socks” in Spanish - it’ll help when I retell it. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/23 "2005-12-15T18:46:50Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > A beauty! How do you say “socks” in Spanish - it’ll help when I retell it. “calcetines”. I think they use a different word outside Mexico – “medias”? ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/24 "2005-12-15T18:47:45Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > A beauty! How do you say “socks” in Spanish - it’ll help when I retell it. If I remember correctly: Calcitines (cal-suh-TEE-nes) ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/25 "2005-12-15T19:02:00Z")
My favorite- What do you call a really, REALLY good party? Fiesta Resistance. [SUB]See, 'cause it’s French AND Spanish.[/SUB] ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/26 "2005-12-15T19:08:05Z")
When you put the cheese on the Greek salad it’s a _fait accompli_ ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/27 "2005-12-15T19:09:34Z")
> [@Atticus Finch](#): > > Jesus loved him his puns. Here’s a Latin one. > Peter’s Latin for “rock”. Greek, actually. And it’s another translingual pun. What Jesus originally said was “Cephas,” the Aramaic for “Rock” and Peter’s epithet-surname in Aramaic. It got translated into “Peter” when the Gospels were written, apparently all first in Greek. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/28 "2005-12-15T19:10:04Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > If I remember correctly: Calcitines (cal-suh-TEE-nes) Thanks! And what’s the proper accent for “_Eso si que es_”? (I’ve already told this joke three times to cow-orkers - hope I got it right; none of us speaks Spanish) ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/29 "2005-12-15T19:13:52Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Greek, actually. French too (likely derived from the Greek originally) Pierre = rock/stone. Hence my obsucre reference above to the old French joke (presented here in English): Teacher (to kid 1 on first day of school): Why are you so late? Kid 1: I was throwing rocks off the bridge and lost track of time. Sorry. (repeat with second Kid 2) [Kid 3 arrives late and soaking wet] Teacher: And why are **you** late? Kid 3: Je suis Pierre! (I am Peter - revealed the prior kids were throwing this guy off the bridge). ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/30 "2005-12-15T19:18:09Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > Thanks! And what’s the proper accent for “_Eso si que es_”? (I’ve already told this joke three times to cow-orkers - hope I got it right; none of us speaks Spanish) Remember, we’re talking college Spanish here: “eso si que es” = esso see kay ess ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/31 "2005-12-15T19:20:43Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > “calcetines”. I think they use a different word outside Mexico – “medias”? **JKellyMap’s** right and I’m wrong on the spelling. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/32 "2005-12-15T19:32:10Z")
The priestly order founded by Saint Dominic is, quite naturally, named for him. In English, we would call the members of this order “Dominicans.” In Latin, that would be _Dominicanes_. Of course, if you split the Latin word into two parts thus – _domini canes_ – you get “the hounds of the Lord.” ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/33 "2005-12-15T20:02:57Z")
[This artwork](http://www.usc.edu/schools/annenberg/asc/projects/comm544/library/images/116.html) by Marcel Duchamp is titled “LHOOQ”, which, if pronounced in French sounds like the sentence meaning roughly “She has a hot ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/34 "2005-12-15T20:10:29Z")
_Oh, Calcutta_ is an Anglization of the French “Oh, quelle cunt tu a.” ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/35 "2005-12-15T20:34:08Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Remember, we’re talking college Spanish here: “eso si que es” = esso see kay ess Sorry, we didn’t have much Spanish where I grew up. Is it “ess so see KAY ess” or “ess SO see kay ess,” or is it unaccented? ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/36 "2005-12-15T20:34:59Z")
And similarly _Oh! Calcutta_ parses as _quelle cul t’as_ or _what a nice bottom you have._ ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/37 "2005-12-15T20:49:27Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > Sorry, we didn’t have much Spanish where I grew up. Is it “ess so see KAY ess” or “ess SO see kay ess,” or is it unaccented? It’s four separate words, so they have more or less equal accent, but I guess it’d be closer to “ESS so see kay ESS.” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/38 "2005-12-15T20:54:45Z")
This may barely qualify, but should you ever happen across a modern, bilingual Roman centurion, he may appreciate this sage advice passed on to me by my first Latin teacher: “Semper ubi sub ubi.” Translation: “Always where under where” (_Always wear underwear_). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/39 "2005-12-15T21:25:51Z")
I’m in a rush. I’ll come back later with one in Spanish and one in French. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730/40 "2005-12-15T21:28:34Z")
Commentries on the Gallic wars, the short version Caesar cari dona militari orgi versus Belgae, Helvetii, Germani, Venetii, Britanni–iunemit. “Romis glorius,” sed Caesar, “Nomen me impunit!” Meni traedit, Vercingetorix, forin stans. Caesar noctim sili fors ticinis nec aut. Ab lumen, nervi felo, Caius Julius, iubet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fling-me-a-non-english-pun-please/335730.md?page=3)