There’s this horrible, lecherous man who walks with a limp, and he walks into a bar. There’s this pretty girl sitting at the bar. The guy sits next to her and starts slobbering on her. She screams,
“COJO HORRIBLE!”
So the guy says, “Don’t worry, young lady, I’ll teach you how!”
(“cojo horrible” = either “you horrid cripple!” or “I’m terrible at screwing”)
A beauty! How do you say “socks” in Spanish - it’ll help when I retell it.
“calcetines”. I think they use a different word outside Mexico – “medias”?
If I remember correctly: Calcitines (cal-suh-TEE-nes)
My favorite-
What do you call a really, REALLY good party?
Fiesta Resistance.
[SUB]See, 'cause it’s French AND Spanish.[/SUB]
When you put the cheese on the Greek salad it’s a fait accompli
Greek, actually.
And it’s another translingual pun. What Jesus originally said was “Cephas,” the Aramaic for “Rock” and Peter’s epithet-surname in Aramaic. It got translated into “Peter” when the Gospels were written, apparently all first in Greek.
Thanks! And what’s the proper accent for “Eso si que es”? (I’ve already told this joke three times to cow-orkers - hope I got it right; none of us speaks Spanish)
French too (likely derived from the Greek originally) Pierre = rock/stone. Hence my obsucre reference above to the old French joke (presented here in English):
Teacher (to kid 1 on first day of school): Why are you so late?
Kid 1: I was throwing rocks off the bridge and lost track of time. Sorry.
(repeat with second Kid 2)
[Kid 3 arrives late and soaking wet]
Teacher: And why are you late?
Kid 3: Je suis Pierre! (I am Peter - revealed the prior kids were throwing this guy off the bridge).
Remember, we’re talking college Spanish here: “eso si que es” = esso see kay ess
JKellyMap’s right and I’m wrong on the spelling.
The priestly order founded by Saint Dominic is, quite naturally, named for him. In English, we would call the members of this order “Dominicans.” In Latin, that would be Dominicanes.
Of course, if you split the Latin word into two parts thus – domini canes – you get “the hounds of the Lord.”
This artwork by Marcel Duchamp is titled “LHOOQ”, which, if pronounced in French sounds like the sentence meaning roughly “She has a hot ass.”
Oh, Calcutta is an Anglization of the French “Oh, quelle cunt tu a.”
Sorry, we didn’t have much Spanish where I grew up. Is it “ess so see KAY ess” or “ess SO see kay ess,” or is it unaccented?
And similarly Oh! Calcutta parses as quelle cul t’as or what a nice bottom you have.
It’s four separate words, so they have more or less equal accent, but I guess it’d be closer to “ESS so see kay ESS.”
This may barely qualify, but should you ever happen across a modern, bilingual Roman centurion, he may appreciate this sage advice passed on to me by my first Latin teacher: “Semper ubi sub ubi.”
Translation: “Always where under where” (Always wear underwear).
I’m in a rush. I’ll come back later with one in Spanish and one in French.
Commentries on the Gallic wars, the short version
Caesar cari dona militari orgi versus Belgae, Helvetii, Germani, Venetii, Britanni–iunemit.
“Romis glorius,” sed Caesar, “Nomen me impunit!” Meni traedit, Vercingetorix, forin stans. Caesar noctim sili fors ticinis nec aut. Ab lumen, nervi felo, Caius Julius, iubet.