My friend has a sticker on his guitar that says Fermez la (picture of Bush with his confused/gaping expression). Fermez la bouche means shut up in French. (And is just about the only French I know.)
Plus, that sticker calls Bush a woman (la being the feminine article).
If the OP is reasonably good at French pronunciation, he/she might want to try to get a hold of a book called Mots d’Heures: Gousses, Rames. It purports to contain fragments of medieval French poetry, with English translations and annotations explaining why the French used is unfamiliar to modern ears.
An example from the book is here:
The annotations explain that this is the story of a child (Un petit d’un petit) of a youthful marriage, who is surprised at the sight of the great Parisian market (les Halles), etc. etc.
Pretty dull, huh? Especially if you use it as a text for teaching French to English-speaking kids.
Until, that is, you get them to read it aloud, and watch the light bulbs appear over their heads, as they realize that the entire book is a convoluted translingual pun, whose theme is (don’t read the spoiler if you want to experience the joy of figuring it out yourself):The French text is homophonic with English-language nursery rhymes. Thus “* Mots d’Heures: Gousses, Rames*” = “Mother Goose Rhymes”, and “Un petit d’un petit” = “Humpty Dumpty”.
It’s quite a tour de force.
I know Les Miserables had some French puns that had to be footnoted in the English translation. One that I recall is that the students that formed an organization called Les amis des abaisses (friends of the downtrodden) could pass themselves off as being pro-literacy (Les amis des ABCs – pronounced the same way).
(Please excuse any misspelling.)
What do you call this? (Speaker makes a clawlike gesture with the hand, fingers down, and pulses them together a few times.) Pusit. (Tagalog for “squid”) What do you call this? (Speaker turns the hand upwards and repeats the motion.) Op-pusit.
What do you call two Pilipino pilots? A pair o’ pliers. (Tagalog and most other Philippine languages lack an “f” sound.)
Just thought of another one.
In France, there’s a type of cookie/biscuit called a Petit Beurre (literally, “little butter”).
So, one kid asks another “what’s the plural of un petit beurre?” To which the other kid replies “des touyoux”[sup]1[/sup]
At which point they both start singing:
Un p’tit beurre, des touyoux
Un p’tit beurre, des touyoux…
(i.e. “Happy Birthday to You”, a song known to many French kids.)
[[sup]1[/sup]spelling may vary since it’s a word invented for the joke.]
:eek: Wow! I did not see that coming! Awesome!
What do you call the biggest tissue in the world?
A hyu-ji.
(Hyu-ji is Korean for tissue.)
English-Korean pun jokes went through a faze here, a few years back. The huge/hyuji one is the only one I can recall. (Just as well, I suppose.)
How quintessentially German. :dubious:
From the Sage of Des Moines, Bill Bryson, I pass along this “holorime,” a poem or phrase that is essentially one long pun because it can be heard as two totally different sentences.
French:
Par le bois du Djinn, ou s’entasse de l’effroi,
Parle! Bois du gin, ou cent tasses de lait froid!
English:
When going through Djinn’s woods, surrounded by so much fear,
Speak! Drink gin or a hundred cups of cold milk.
A down at heel old man is drawn to the windows of a tea salon in Cardiff, inside two posh ladies of a certain age are taking tea, their lapdogs are also at the table "Now Beethoven would you like a little bit of cakey? " says one to her dog, “Ah yes Mendelssohn must have his little pastry too” says the other. The old man looks down at his mongrel, “Well, well, Beethoven and Mendelssohn, there’s daft names for dogs. Come along then bach.”
‘bach’ is the Welsh for little and often used as a term of endearment
I made one up in Hong Kong that my Cantonese mate was initially bemused by, and then thought was hilarious.
*Kung hei fat choi!
- San ning fi lo!
Lai see dow loi? - Diw ley lo mo.*
[spoiler]Health, wealth and happiness!
- Happy new year!
Give me some lucky money? - Go and fuck your mother.
The first three phrases are what you say at New Year. The third is what unmarried people traditionally say to married ones, and receive a red envelope containing money. The final line is an unexpected response to a reasonable request. But it rhymes.[/spoiler]In the formal way they did it in those days, Nelson and Napoleon are having a pre-battle meeting before Trafalgar. Eventually it is time to do battle. Napoleon looks at Nelson and says “to the water: it is the hour”: A l’eau, c’est l’heure.
Well, that was the original name of the order. They ran the Inquisition, and were supposedly seeking out sinners like a hound sniffs out its quarry.