# Flip Answers to General Questions.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852 "2004-04-30T14:13:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/61 "2004-06-02T18:21:57Z")
**Why are high-altitude balloons so tall?** Because if they were so wide, they’d be mistaken for flying saucers. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/62 "2004-06-02T19:11:41Z")
**Why are high-altitude balloons so tall?** Look up the definition of “high-altitude” why don’t you? God, this thread is a godsend. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/63 "2004-06-02T19:25:53Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > God, this thread is a godsend. [Vent here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=259018) It was therapeutic for me. Go in peace. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/64 "2004-06-05T00:09:46Z")
\*\*What jobs requite tons of international travel? \*\* Air Hostess, duh! \*\*What is involved in becoming a large jet pilot \*\* Learn to fly, and eat lots of McDonalds **How do braces work?** They clip onto your trousers, and hang over your sholders, thus keeping your trousers from falling down. **What low fat substitutes are there for cooking oils** Baking, Steaming, Broiling. \*\*Computer Won’t Start (Major Problem) \*\* “You did remember to plug the computer in? Thought so. Yes plugging it into the mains will help.” (darn this tech support job.) ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/65 "2004-06-05T03:32:36Z")
What is dangerous about a high sodium diet? _umm–the sodium_ Is there any legitimate use for weenie-teenie Ziplocks? zut _Yes, they are great for storing teenie weenies._ got a wart frozen yesterday. Now what happens? Stinkpalm _mmmm–wartscicles_ How can I get the junk faxers to stop? ggurl _Unplugging the FAX machine always works for me_ How much did it cost (in 2004 dollars) to purchase a slave in the antebellum south? astro _The slavemaster’s immortal soul_ ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/66 "2004-06-05T04:03:14Z")
**do popes ever resign?** yes, but not as much since free agency (I don’t get it either) **is it possible to share the same dream?** MLK was specific when he said “I” have a dream. The rest of us were just extras **How massive is organized information? (entropy…)** When “massive” and “entropy” are used together my mother inlaws ass comes to mind. (give me a minute) . . . . **Evian- how is it shipped?** er, by…ship? **What is involved in becoming a large jet pilot?** Squeezing through those little doorways to the cockpit. **I drink a bottle of wine with dinner every night.** That is why your question isn’t asked in question form. In fact, you started out on a phone-chat line and have no idea how you got here at all. Drink another bottle pal. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/67 "2004-06-07T17:35:11Z")
**What low fat substitutes are there for cooking oils** Wesley Clark _If you don’t like Pam, I suggest Slick 50 Motor Oil – It’s so low in fat they don’t even have to put Nutritional Facts on their packaging_ **Got Milk?** TheLoadedDog _Sorry, no mammary glands in this chest_ **TLD’s 747 Bus Service (Signal Driver)** TheLoadedDog _Not to be confused with the Bristol VRT3/LL Air Service (Pilot) thread_ **CPU fan airflow direction?** Rabbit _In the Northern Hemisphere: The fan sucks in. In the Southern Hemisphere: The fan blows out_ **Birth control and antibiotics** ShadiRoxan _Vancomycin is still the most effective way of preventing bacteria from multiplying_ **Has anyone ever been able to trace their ancestry to Ancient Greece?** Jarbabyj _Muhammed Ali is alleged to be a direct descendant of Alexander the Great_ \*\*Does Kelsey Grammar no about drunkedness? \*\*Tdn _I don’t no if he “Just Says Know”_ **Car commercial - Driving up the ramp of a moving truck like Knight Rider** World Eater _I haven’t seen it – Perhaps it’s an ad for a kit car_ **What was WWI called before WWII?** Liberal _The War of the World – Modified & copyrighted 20 years later by H G Wells_ **Help! Lost wallet, and SSN** Beelzebubba _This wouldn’t have been a big deal if you had the American Express© Social Security Card_ **OK Doper, Identify This Animal! ( 1 2 )** Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor _The thread title says ‘Doper’ – Why in the hell are there 2 pages of responses_ **Washing a car - soap?** Eonwe _In my experience, it works better than soup_ **Why does my car get better mileage when fully laden?** Mangetout _Perhaps your doing all your city driving alone and highway driving with the family and luggage_ **Best way to sell gold coins** Ravenman _Why not set up a souvenir stand in front of Fort Knox_ **Moscovites don’t get hot water from water heaters?** Astro _I’ve heard a lot prefer chilled Vodka_ **How hot should I set my hot water heater?** Mahaloth _110º F in the USA. 10º C in the Russian Republic_ **Evian - How is it shipped?** Kel Varnsen - Latex Division _You’d have to be either naïve or all wet to not know it’s shipped in bottles_ **Need some ideas for an MSc thesis subject** Dog80 _Was Java a language, a coffee or an island first_ **What’s this button in my car for?** DoperChic _The Bond 007 Ejector seat_ **Most/fewest ex-presidents** Mcbiggins _Fewest: Republic of Cuba with 0_ **Coke and “original formula”** Reeder _The original formula wasn’t cut with sugar, corn starch, vitamin c, baby milk or talcum powder_ **Is it possible for a Human to be non-sexual?** Teelo _When I asked Sister Mary the same question in parochial school, she cracked me upside my head with a yardstick_ **What’s going on with these huge cigarette manuf lawsuit judgements** Astro _To take the heat off local overzealous Police Departments with taser guns_ **Man gets tasered, falls and cracks skull on sidewalk and dies. Can police be sued?** Astro _Sure. And if he’s smoking a cigarette, it’s a double windfall_ **Is pork actually a white meat?** Alanak _Yo dude, it’s still pink inside_ **Illegal to build a nuclear bomb?** Mister V _I checked with the B A T F and the regulations are unclear. Detonating it would definitely constitute a felony_ **Activating a motion sensor light. Help. I don’t have the instructions.** Enipla _Perhaps you could flail your arms and jump up and down in front of it_ ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/68 "2004-06-07T18:15:29Z")
\*\*Has anyone ever been able to trace their ancestry to Ancient Greece? \*\* It is believed certain Ancient Greeks could do that; these reports are unconfirmed. \*\*OK Doper, Identify This Animal! \*\* That… is an ex-parrot. It has ceased to be. \*\*Does Kelsey Grammar no about drunkedness? \*\* Yes, and it seems he’s not the only one. :dubious: \*\*Washing a car - soap? \*\* Lever 2000 - for all your car’s 2000 parts. \*\*Help! My Car’s Ceiling Is Caving In \*\* Activate your signal-watch, Superman will find you right away. Incidentally, how do you post from your car? \*\*Where can I buy a Dvorak keyboard? \*\* At the Dvollar Store. \*\*Got Milk? \*\* Yup. Where’s the Beef? \*\*Is pork actually a white meat? \*\* It’s actually green, but the government doesn’t want you to know that. See if you can dig up information on the Geisel project. That’s all I can say. \*\*Moscovites don’t get hot water from water heaters? \*\* [Yakov]In Soviet Russia, potatoes boil you![/Yakov] ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/69 "2004-06-08T18:12:19Z")
Quick answers to thread titles Where in the world have Dopers been? - Why, we’ve all been right here, posting to this message board. Where have YOU been? Why don’t the black guys ever make it? - You mean, with each other? 25% of 18-34 year olds live at home! - This just in: 100% of homeowners live at home Do you think a normal guy would ever wear women’s undies? - Do I seem normal to you? Eating boogers – cannibalism? - Asking ludicrous questions – mania? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/70 "2004-06-09T15:53:41Z")
Has A Millionaire Ever Used His Wealth To Induce People Into Humiliating Themselves? Dunno – by any chance is a millionaire paying you to post? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/71 "2004-06-14T19:49:12Z")
**SCOTUS Pledge ruling: did the justices dodge the question?** drewbert _What do you expect with only one_ Ford _appointee on the bench?_ **Pies in the face** Da Cissy Pimp _Custard pie in the face is referred to as slapstick. Hair pie in the face is called cunnilingus_ **What can I do to my DVD to make my DVD player play it?** smootman _Take it to Hong Kong and exchange it for a ‘regional 7’ machine_ **What do dreams mean?** GuanoLad _I’ll cut you a deal: You tell me what this stupid question means & I’ll interpret your dreams for you_ **Is there an easy way to tell if ground coffee is decaf or not?** Revtim _Drink 20 cups. If you can’t sleep, it’s regular coffee. If you wet the bed, it’s decaf_ **What was government cheese?** astro _The crud that was found under FDR’s foreskin_ **Amish at the DMV? Amish and photography.** Welfy _Lucky for them, Pennsylvania law does not require a photo license for the operation of a horse and buggy_ **Anyone familiar with KALARIPPAYAT (Indian Martial Art)?** Chairman Pow _No, I thought it was the name of a mongoose from a children’s book_ **Why do Germans sometimes pronounce “V” as “W”?** Aeschines _Vat kind of a vorthless qvestion ees dees dumkopf?_ **Bush on gun control** Priceguy _Non-factually speaking: 40 & 42 – No. Barbara and Laura – Yes…if I had to guess._ **Does this sound suspicious to you?** saluki\_fan _No. But from the title, it doesn’t sound like a question with a factual answer either_ **Is it possible to make someone invisible to the naked eye?** Arturius _Sure. Just pour lye into the naked eyes of the person you don’t want to see you_ **Does the restaurant actually NEED the credit card slip signed to charge you?** Chastain86 \*Put yourself in their place. Would you want your server to ask you, “Do you really NEED that fettucini alfredo and cheesecake, lardass?” \* **German Chocolate Cake** Phase42 _It’s made vit flover, vauder, milk, eggs und cocoa_ **Delayed death from gunshot wounds** Da Cissy Pimp _The first two that come to mind are Grandpere Sauniere and Zed…who by now is definitely dead, baby_ **What Language is This?** HeyHomie _It reads exactly like English to me_ **Which metals are “heavy”?** Da Cissy Pimp _Those chrome plated steel barbells at the gym are…I’m still trying to figure out why the ones with larger numbers are heavier_ **A time-travel question** Da Cissy Pimp _Too bad. If you got here five minutes ago, you would’ve heard my answer_ **Why is Communist economics flawed? ( 1 2 )** Priceguy _Go to North Korea and ask. Just wait until they’re done chewing & swallowing the grass in their mouth._ **"Bottle-neck" in human population 70,00 years ago** richardb _It makes sense. I wouldn’t imagine too many people were in a copulating mood during the Great Depression_ **Is there a free equivalent to Windows Washer available?** Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor _I certainly hope so. Ilord knows I wouldn’t want to spend $20 to keep my $900 machine running smoothly_ **The Great Lawn Seeding Conundrum. I’ve reached an impass.** Phlosphr _It’s no mystery. If you wait a few hours before ejaculating on your grass, you’ll have better results_ **Killing flies by clapping hands** Dog80 _Squish flies. Crush flies. Squish flies, crush flies – The Clapper_ **People Who Are Obsessively Devoted To Fantasy- What Mental Disorder Do They Have?** Surreal _That was a boring question until I saw your screen name_ **Did Tesla Rock Manhattan, Literally?** Jinx _Dunno. But I’m glad your back. For a minute there I thought you’d changed your name to Da Cissy Pimp_ ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/72 "2004-06-18T13:33:47Z")
**How To Make My Voice Sound Deeper or Sexier** Take up smoking. The wheeze is especially attractive. **Did Goering say this?** As a German, obviously, he would speak English with a heavy accent. So more likely, he said ‘Zis’. \*\*Are you supposed to stand for any song other than the National Anthem? \*\* Yes. ‘Stand up, stand up, stand up for your rights.’ Also that ‘Stand’ song. \*\*What is the Spanish word for “cow brains?” \*\* Burrito. Don’t ask. \*\*Does each phone number have a unique tone? \*\* Yes. For the record, mine is ‘sarcastic.’ \*\*When did the Germanic and Celtic tribes of Europe disappear? \*\* Well, for the Celtic tribes, they became disillusioned when L.A. replaced Boston as the chief dynasty-makers of the NBA. \*\*Why does the president get to decide scientific policy? \*\* It’s a little-known fact that ‘W’ ( or ‘The Doctor’ as they used to call him back at MIT) has a genius-level IQ, almost off the charts, and has been doing research for the past twenty years, even missing some National Guard duties in his quest for ultimate knowledge. Insider sources inform me that the Scientist-in-Chief is currently working on new “Safety Pretzel” technology. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/73 "2004-06-18T13:43:00Z")
\*\*What cancelled concerts have you not gone to? \*\* All of them. \*\*Star Trek question: How did the Borg Collective get started? \*\* It was a pyramid scheme. One guy assimilates two friends, and they assimilate two friends… and so on and so on… **Anyone want to see some more Bullet Reviews?** How does the newest .357 ammunition compare to similarly priced .44 ammunition? \*\*Who/What are the Borgs? \*\* Bjorn… and Bjorn, I guess. Ja, you’ll become vun mit de Borgs, you betcha. \*\*How about a US Open thread? \*\* Well, it’d be easier to post to than a Closed one. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/74 "2004-06-23T14:59:24Z")
\*\*What’s up with the Beast of Gevaudan? \*\* Oh, not much these days. He finished up college, got a film degree. He currently works under the pseudonym of Michael Moore. **Is salmon dangerous?** Only Ella. \*\*How Do You Pronounce ‘Siobhan’? \*\* Drunkenly. \*\*Why not pump your own gas? \*\* That’s a very personal question and I’ll thank you to stay out of my affairs. \*\*I got pink eye! How do I get rid of it? \*\* Did you get it from Scott Baio? \*\*Why does smoking marijuana cause paranoia? \*\* Well, you’re indulging in an illegal activity that emits a strong odor and a smoke signal. You figure it out. \*\*How do I get grant? \*\* Elizabeth Hurley would know more about the subject. \*\*Tell me like I’m 4: How do I burn a Music CD? \*\* Well, first take the CD - whichever one Mommy and Daddy keep in the player, because that’s the best one… and through it in the fire. Whee! Sparks! **What is the difference between the Police and the Sherrif?** Well, I shot the Sheriff. But I did not shoot the Police, who happen to be Sting’s backup band. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852/75 "2005-06-30T23:52:55Z")
**Differences between scouting, recruiting and headhunting?** Askia _The 1st is done by children, the 2nd by sergeants & the 3rd by glorified telemarketers_ **Diet: Where does lost weight go?** Klsdad _It hides out in your toes, waiting to make a triumphant return after the Atkins effect wears off._ **How does one pronounce “Methuen”, as in the publishing house in the UK?** BwanaBob _Baron any regional accents, it’s pronounced “Nair New Hampshire”_ **Age difference in relationships: rule of thumb?** Brianmelendez _Whether she’s 20 or 80, she’ll always prefer your tongue over your digits…even the fat one_ **Women competing with men** The Controvert _Paging msmith. Paging msmith. There’s a call for you on extension 537._ **Modern cryptographic methods** Mathochist _i956y8i50y9u0gh9uty978t0qtuapf90456_wfnor8u-0349583jnmvodhj9e8tuy\* **What’s the difference between a rifle (or gun) and a cannon?** Whack-a-Mole _In the year 2000, there were 600 less self-inflicted cannon deaths_ **Pirate Questions** dolphinboy _Arrrrrrrgh…Shiver me timbers! Will the Bucks end up in the basement this year? Can Kip Wells win 10 games this season?_ **Getting better photos from a digital camera** Carnac the Magnificent! _Step 1) Remove the camera from the case. Step 2) Keep your fingers away from the lens. Step 3) Point & shoot._ **Lance Armstrong’s bike weighs less than a horseshoe. What?!** aerodave - Lance Armstrong’s bike weighs less than a horseshoe\* \*\*For Non-Americans: "Would you like peas, squash, or \_\_\_\_? \*\* StarvingButStrong _I’ll take the blowjob behind curtain #3._ **Video/Audio taping without consent** Plynck _You may wanna try selling them to Seymour Butts_ **Why does Bugs Bunny wear gloves?** the nettle _You ever tried lighting a stick of dynamite with mittens on?_ **Can a person get high off catnip?** nowayman _Only if they smoke it in a banana peel_ **Are Tesla coils good for anything?** Muad’Dib _They sound an awful lot better than ‘Into the Now’ does_ **Can you boil slowly to death without feeling it?** Anaamika _You’re obviously not a regular reader of the GQ forum, are you?_ **"Wardrobe malfunction" phrase EVER used before Super Bowl?** SmackFu _Contrary to gossip about Tommy Lee’s temper, it’s listed as the cause of Pamela Anderson’s black eye on several medical reports._ **Why did pre-Marian triarii use spears?** Speaker for the Dead _Because (no matter what their differences) rifles, guns or cannons weren’t available_ **(Whatever) palooza. Origins** Shirley Ujest _It was coined by Tom Carvel after “(Whatever) Cookie-Puss” failed to gain popularity._ **Living beyond the speed of light** Suburban\_Rythm _Travelling at 185,000 miles per second matter becomes energy. At 184,999 mps, screen names become terribly misspelled._ **Stripping Paint off of bannisters.** brujo _2 Words: Sandpaper panties_ **Taking out old wall-to-wall carpet. Shampoo it first?** MaryEFoo _If homeless advocates had their way, it would become a law_ **Smelly Urine** [jim\_marren@yahoo.com](mailto:jim_marren@yahoo.com) _Coming next week to the GQ forum: Stinky Shit_ **What’s the deadliest plant or tree?** Jojo _The one you fail to move from after the ‘Timber’ warning is given._ **What is "American Hair."** alice\_in\_wonderland _Long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen, knotted, xenophobic, war-mongering, pompous and loud_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flip-answers-to-general-questions/242852.md?page=3)