# Flirting **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2000, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400 "2000-03-23T08:16:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/81 "2000-03-24T20:07:00Z")
By NothingMan: > [@](#): > > So . . . uh, just how healthy is hubby ? Well, I _keep_ feeding him all the right foods, but he just won’t have that heart attack! 😉 * * * A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. —Zsa Zsa Gabor ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/82 "2000-03-24T22:02:00Z")
I’m out of practice with flirting (marriage does that to you!) but I give **great** foot rubs. Any of you lovely ladies want a foot rub? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/83 "2000-03-24T22:17:00Z")
Of course I’ll go first, and as a true southern gentleman I know you’ll avert your eyes as I climb… Footrubs, now there’s a proposition RTF * * * _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/84 "2000-03-24T22:29:00Z")
::averting eyes:: Hey! Where’d she go??? Dammit **RTF**! Get your grimy paws off of **ultress’s** feet! ::Wanders off to hunt eggs alone:: _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/85 "2000-03-24T23:25:00Z")
RTFirefly, I’d LOVE a foot massage! Oh, my!! I’ll be right there!!! Honey, if you’re aws good as you say, I’ll do just about anything for you!!!\ * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/86 "2000-03-25T00:15:00Z")
:o oh, dear. I checked!! really I did!!! it should say ‘AS good as’ :o Swimming, thank you, too. Glad it helped. as for the other stuff, the hair, eyes and all, that’s just temporary extenal stuff. not important. * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/87 "2000-03-25T00:57:00Z")
purplebear, I’ll get to you as soon as I’m done with ultress. Should only be a few minutes, here. ultress, put your foot in my lap, let’s start with the heel, then work our way up _sloooowly…_ Now, how does that feel? By the time I’m done, you’ll be able to _dance_ up that ladder to the loft! Now, a little pressure under the arch…right _there_, you say? We’ll give that spot a little more attention… ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/88 "2000-03-25T01:44:00Z")
_Sigh_ Here I am, all alone, with hubby off in the desert…and no one to rub my feet… ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/89 "2000-03-25T05:19:00Z")
Okay, RTF, I’ll wait right over here for you to finish up with Ultress. \ I’d do a lot for a great foot rub!! * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/90 "2000-03-25T05:41:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by ReservoirDog: > \*\*Never mind. _Sniff_ > > ::: Backs up slowly to the door. :::\*\* Awww (patting RD on head) no need to get all upset about it… ReservoirDog, Catrandom – kinda cute, huh? 😉 Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/91 "2000-03-25T06:20:00Z")
::Standing quietly in corner watching all the other guys hit it off so well wishing he could be so smooth:: Sue Duhnym, ooh la la. You tease. (And the grandmother pic sure put a damper on _that_ mood.) Now if I can find an aristocratic beauty who _isn’t_ married. ::bumps into SwimmingRiddles:: Oh, excuse me. Haven’t I seen you somewhere before? I think it was my dreams last night. ::wink wink:: Wait, that sounds wrong. Sorry, hope that didn’t insult you. I’ll just go. ::Walking up to purplebear:: Purple is such a pretty color - and so unique on bears. I could use a bare- um, bear. Bear with me, I’m new at this. Wait, did I just make a bad pun? Great, now I’m lame _and_ tacky. This is going _great_. ::moseying over to MoosieGirl:: Ah, a Canadian. I hear those winters get cold. Would you like a little bedwarmer? (Hmmm. Methinks using the word “little” wasn’t the right approach.) ::Sigh:: ::spying Ayesha:: Me-oww! Oh look out, her comes the Lion! ::running for life:: ::Sees Ultress is busy:: (DAMN!) ::Can’t find psycat90:: ::Strolls back over to corner to brood:: ::Trying to decide between beating head on table and getting drunk. Can’t decide which will hurt less tomorrow. Leaning towards beating head on table.:: [Shameless name dropping] Miche-elle?! Where are you? [/shameless name dropping] If Mega the roo walks in, I’m over here in the corner. I’d say something, but I’m overwhelmed. She leaves me tongue-tied. (I said “tongue”.) ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/92 "2000-03-25T08:05:00Z")
Now, now Sue. 🙂 I recommend lots of red meat and beer. If you can grill the red meat by pouring beer on it, even better. You need to put that pic of the tiny Princess right on this thread. I started it, so I think its legal. Maybe its a reminder of how lucky one can truly be if the flirting gets good. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/93 "2000-03-25T13:54:00Z")
OOOOOHHHHH RTF you are as good as you say. I must be off now…have to find Spoke and collect those eggs. :::wanders off with her basket looking for Spoke:::: * * * _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/94 "2000-03-25T14:06:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Irishman: > \*\*::Standing quietly in corner watching all the other guys hit it off so well wishing he could be so smooth:: > > ::Walking up to purplebear:: > > Purple is such a pretty color - and so unique on bears. I could use a bare- um, bear. Bear with me, I’m new at this. Wait, did I just make a bad pun? Great, now I’m lame _and_ tacky. This is going _great_. > > ::Strolls back over to corner to brood:: > > ::Trying to decide between beating head on table and getting drunk. Can’t decide which will hurt less tomorrow. Leaning towards beating head on table.:: > > \*\* Oh,Irishman! I’m so sorry. I must have dozed off there for a second or two, while waiting for my foot rub.\ Come on over here and talk to me. _giggle_ I do have one question for you. You could sure use a bare what? _giggle_ * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/95 "2000-03-25T14:10:00Z")
## All eyes turn towards the door as a blond Amazon with sky blue eyes and a tight leather catsuit saunters into the room. As she crosses the room, nobody notices the short Rubenesque brunette standing behind her, waving her arms madly and stomping her feet, shouting “Hey! You’re supposed to be paying attention to me!” Shadowfox “The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/96 "2000-03-25T15:07:00Z")
Glad to have been of service, ultress! Yes, indeed, go track down spoke-, he’s pining for you. purplebear, it’s your turn, if you’re not _too_ distracted by the Irishman…if you are, I see Lucretia waiting to push you aside - it’s _months_ before Bluesman will be back to rub her feet, after all! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/97 "2000-03-25T15:16:00Z")
Uh, hi! I’d flirt, but I forgot how. Soooo…everyone pay attention to Shadowfox, okay? Thanks. * * * This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here. ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/98 "2000-03-25T17:17:00Z")
::: walking in with her new (and very shiny) tongue-untier ::: * * * if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/99 "2000-03-25T17:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by RTFirefly: > \*\* > > purplebear, it’s your turn, if you’re not _too_ distracted by the Irishman…if you are, I see Lucretia waiting to push you aside - it’s _months_ before Bluesman will be back to rub her feet, after all! :)\*\* I’m right here!! I’m here!! Me next!! Sorry, Lucretia, you’ll have to wait your turn. hehehehehe. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! \ * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400/100 "2000-03-25T19:30:00Z")
Ouch! (rubbing my ribs where purplebear elbowed them on the way through :)) I’ll just be over here, RT, with my feet propped up on the couch, whenever you are ready… (scanning the room, ready to body slam anyone who tries to get in line ahead of me…) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flirting/15400.md?page=6)