# Flora McFlimsey didn't die...she never existed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 1999, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817 "1999-12-07T19:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/1 "1999-12-08T06:56:00Z")
I thought about putting this in “About this Message Board”, but it’s not really anything more than ranting… At the Chicago thing, Ike was telling me about all these funny things that Flora had posted. Naturally, I wanted to read these pearls of wisdom and humor, so I popped into the search engine. Guess what? No posts by Flora McFlimsey. Everyday since then, it’s been the same. Grrr…fuckin’ computers. * * * “…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…” –Jack Kerouac, _On the Road_ ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/2 "1999-12-07T19:08:00Z")
Wishful thinking, **Chris**? You seem to have taken a shine to the **Ukemeister** after the Chicago thingy. My evidence: [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003027.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003027.html) Or maybe it’s all a ploy by the **Uke-a-maniac** to get wimmins. Observe: _Yep, **Flora** and I are together. I’m a taken man. I’m deeply in love. I know that makes you want me even more._ See? Alluring, huh? I toldya. It’s the cyberspace equivalent to a man wearing a wedding ring! ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/3 "1999-12-07T20:02:00Z")
Try a partial match on the name “Flora” I worked for me. I think the “search” engine doesn’t like spaces. Searching for “Cecil Adams” will yield no results also. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/4 "1999-12-07T20:04:00Z")
“Yep, Flora and I are together. I’m a taken man. I’m deeply in love. I know that makes you want me even more.” Umm, where the hell did you read this, Cant? Both Mrs. Uke and myself are all akimbo and agog to find out. Do I exist? Do I not? Am I merely an elaborate plot on the part on the New Yorkers to make the rest of the country green with envy? You’ll never know . . . –The Shadow ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/5 "1999-12-07T20:14:00Z")
**Flora** , if it were a real quote, I would have used the > [@](#): > thingy. Sorry to disappoint. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/6 "1999-12-07T20:20:00Z")
Ah–but WHOM did you dissappoint? Chris, me, or his wife? . . . I’ll never tell . . . ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/7 "1999-12-07T20:27:00Z")
Oooh! I’m so intrigued! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/8 "1999-12-07T20:30:00Z")
{strolls into the thread whistling a perky tune…stops…reads…quietly backsteps out] ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/9 "1999-12-07T22:43:00Z")
Wishful thinking my ass…I love Flora. The title is just sort of a play on the whole “Flora’s dead” thing that happened recently. I just think it sucks that I can find posts for everyone BUT Flora. Ike was a bit sloshy when he was quoting her posts and I wanted to read them for myself. * * * “…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…” –Jack Kerouac, _On the Road_ ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/10 "1999-12-07T22:45:00Z")
{stiffly} Sloshy? SLOSHY? Chris, the thing you have to understand is, Flora’s always drunk when she posts. So when I quote 'em, _I_ sound drunk. Capeesh? * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/11 "1999-12-08T14:03:00Z")
Ike, puh-LEASE. You know that lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine. Ike: “Your lips?” Flora: “No, my liquor.” ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/12 "1999-12-08T14:12:00Z")
**Chris** , I knew it was a joke… I was joking too! Note to self: Don’t try to be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 1999, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/flora-mcflimsey-didnt-die-she-never-existed/11817/13 "1999-12-08T14:17:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You’ll never know . . . > > ``` > --The Shadow > > ``` Contrary to above, I am **NOT** Flora. 🙂 ## Yep, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Shadowfox “We are what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut