# Florida accidentally outlaws sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728 "2011-05-13T00:34:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/1 "2011-05-13T00:34:06Z")
> [@](#): > > An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating [s. 828.126, F.S.[warning, pdf]](http://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2011/0344/BillText/Filed/PDF); providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date. Oops, what do you mean [people are animals](http://www.southernfriedscience.com/?p=10369) too? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/2 "2011-05-13T00:43:39Z")
“Wow! You were an animal in bed last night.” \ “Police! Freeze! You are under arrest for being smarter than the Florida State Legislature!” ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/3 "2011-05-13T00:47:28Z")
I’ve seen dead clams that were smarter than the Florida Legislature. On the sex thing, though, I think they were right. Now I don’t have to plead old age; I can just obey the law. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/4 "2011-05-13T01:18:20Z")
> [@](#): > > providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry Oh No, legal code for no sex unless it’s for procreation, obvious a back door into getting religion coded into the law. Red alert dopers, make ready phasers and photon torpedo ! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/5 "2011-05-13T02:28:33Z")
How are other states’ laws against bestiality written? Is this any different from existing laws? Let’s see: > [@Arizona](#): > > A person commits bestiality if he or she performs or submits to any act of sexual gratification with an animal involving the sex organs of the one and the mouth, anus, penis, or vagina of the other. > [@Connecticut](#): > > A person is guilty of sexual assault in the fourth degree when: … > > \ > (3) such person engages in sexual contact with an animal or dead body; or > [@Missouri](#): > > Unlawful sex with an animal, penalties. > > 1. A person commits the crime of unlawful sex with an animal if that person engages in sexual conduct with an animal or engages in sexual conduct with an animal for commercial or recreational purposes. > [@New York](#): > > A person is guilty of sexual misconduct when: > > \ > > 1. He or she engages in sexual conduct with an animal > [@Illinois](#): > > Sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal. > > (a) A person may not knowingly engage in any sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal. So if Florida is making all sex illegal, it must already be illegal in Arizona, Connecticut, Missouri, New York, and Illinois. This is just some clueless Internet jokester playing games. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/6 "2011-05-13T08:20:02Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > This is just some clueless Internet jokester playing games. That’s exactly what it is. The law is basically identical to the other states’ laws. It specifically prohibits sex between “persons” and “animals”. Here’s a common-sense interpretation of the law: [http://electionlawblog.org/archives/019463.html](http://electionlawblog.org/archives/019463.html) The thrust of the opinion is that since the statute distinguishes between persons and animals, that the use of the word “animals” should be interpreted as meaning non-human animals. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/7 "2011-05-13T09:12:50Z")
Are you sure it was unintentional with all those retired people down there. They probably saw the spring break students and called their legislators to ban sex. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/8 "2011-05-13T10:42:42Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Oh No, legal code for no sex unless it’s for procreation, obvious **a back door** into getting religion coded into the law. > > Red alert dopers, make ready phasers and photon torpedo ! emphasis added by me for the purpose of smutty innuendo, I have nothing else to add, my work here is done. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/9 "2011-05-13T14:52:15Z")
As is the case with all legal documentation, there is doubtlessly an “operating definitions” list, interpretation, or some other statement somewhere in Florida state law that specifically states that the word “animal,” when used in law in the State of Florida, should be taken to mean any animal that is not a human being. If you just ignore operating definitions, terms of art, et al., you can come up with any number of silly interpretations of most any technical document. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/10 "2011-05-13T16:10:38Z")
I expect quite a rush to obtain veterinary degrees. Apparently veterinarians will have more options than the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/11 "2011-05-13T16:14:20Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > As is the case with all legal documentation, there is doubtlessly an “operating definitions” list, interpretation, or some other statement somewhere in Florida state law that specifically states that the word “animal,” when used in law in the State of Florida, should be taken to mean any animal that is not a human being. Yup: > [@](#): > > 828.02 Definitions.—In this chapter, and in every law of the state relating to or in any way affecting animals, the word “animal” shall be held to include every living dumb creature; Who on this board might be thereby included is a speculation I shall leave to another forum. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/12 "2011-05-13T16:17:22Z")
“But officer, the law specifies I can’t do this for my own sexual gratification. I’m not! It’s all to make my beloved sheep happy. I can prove it! She gets pretty cranky if she goes for 72 hours without my penis.” ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/13 "2011-05-13T16:19:43Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > “828.02 Definitions.—In this chapter, and in every law of the state relating to or in any way affecting animals, the word “animal” shall be held to include every living dumb creature” I’m glad to know that sex with certain types of parrots might still be in play. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/14 "2011-05-13T17:09:19Z")
Just because we can’t understand them doesn’t mean a whole lot of animals can speak. In fact we imitate them, “Squeal like a pig, boy!” ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/15 "2011-05-13T19:16:01Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Just because we can’t understand them doesn’t mean a whole lot of animals can speak. In fact we imitate them, “Squeal like a pig, boy!” “She walks! She talks! She crawls on her belly like a reptile!” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-accidentally-outlaws-sex/581728/16 "2011-05-14T17:53:16Z")
> [@Ichbin\_Dubist](#): > > I’m glad to know that sex with certain types of parrots might still be in play. To some people, “Rio” was porn.