The “Ignited Church”? Man, these people are just begging for a lightning bolt, aren’t they?
Look, you’re the official sacrificial lamb. Make the necessary changes and move on. 
Hey, it’s the Pit! Aren’t you supposed to tell me to do obscene things with a rabid porcupine or something?
Post pics.
Fiiiiine. ::goes off in a huff:: :mad:
I can’t. I’m terminally nice. 
I had to work in Lakeland. I learned that Auburndale was what people from Lakeland make fun of.
God, I know what you mean. Tallahassee in particular.
If you really want to have fun, go visit this little gem, up I-4, just past Universal Studios! I heard Jews get in free.
Oh, yes, that one. I think there was some kerfuffle over it because the owners claimed tax exempt status or something.
That said, at least we don’t have a Creationist Museum 'round these here parts.
Jesus Chri…
Let’s face it: Florida was founded on bogus claims of miraculous healing. Ponce de Leon didn’t come here looking for the Fountain of Ordinary Water. For that matter, it’s probably no coincidence that the Church of Scientology HQ is located in the Sunshine State. The humidity makes you crazy, and in the throes of heatstroke all manner of claims suddenly seem more plausible.
It’s far too late to start complaining about it now; snake oil is integral to the state’s financial well-being. It’s our backup plan for when rising gas prices finally kill off tourism. You may not feel like spending thousands of dollars to visit Disney World; but you WILL give us your money when your child contracts leprosy and only our holy alligator-grease miracle tonic can save her.
Most Pastors don’t relate this as cause-and-effect though.
Filling the basket is not a requirement for eternal life.
…and as Floridians, it’s up to us to get tourists to keep coming here in order to infect them with leprosy.
WELCOME TO FLORIDA GAS & LODGE!
GIFTS * SOUVENIRS * ORANGE JUICE
DISCOUNT THEME PARK TICKETS
STOP AND PET OUR ARMADILLOS
Oh, I have got to go there, with as large a group of my friends’ families (especially children, the smaller the better!) as I can muster. Then we can play “debunk the myth” with real exhibits right there to show what comes from provable historic fact, and what’s just crap somebody made up along the way.
It’ll be fun. 
“See, kids? The Scriptorium is just like a regular library - it’s part real books, and part fiction! But it’s even better, because you have to play detective to sort out which is which! Now, who can tell me which one of these events actually happened?”
FIELD TRIP!
You may be thinking of Dinosaur Adventure Land, in Pensacola, “a theme park and science museum that gives God the glory for His creation. It has rides and fun-filled events and activities, each involving a physical challenge, a science lesson, and a biblical truth.”
Its founder, Kent Hovind, is currently serving a 10 year sentence in federal prison for numerous counts of tax and structuring related crimes. I enjoy visiting his blog, where Dr. [sic] Hovind transcribes insane rambling conversations that he has with god, in which god always assures him that he is wonderful and perfect and will be released from prison soon, following which his supporters post a couple of encouraging comments before digging in and flaming each other over such riveting topics as who is using the correct bible translation and whether women should be allowed to speak before being spoken to, along with tax, 9/11, and Titanic conspiracy theories. It really is a great chance to see christianity at its best.
For true entertainment, get your best Satanist friend to apply for a job there:
http://www.theholylandexperience.com/abouthle/employment.html
Hmmmm. You have a point there…