# Florida mother's epic fail of common sense puts her child in the hands of a predator and killer. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803 "2013-06-24T17:08:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/41 "2013-06-25T15:41:14Z")
I’m reserving judgment on the mother because I just don’t know enough about what happened. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/42 "2013-06-25T15:43:18Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I’m reserving judgment on the mother because I just don’t know enough about what happened. What the fuck fun is that?! These pitchforks and torches aren’t going to carry themselves! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/43 "2013-06-25T15:58:04Z")
All that I (or anyone else, really) can say about this, reserving any rush to judgment, emotional response, or speculation as to motives whatsoever, is as follows; **Lady, ya done fucked up.** ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/44 "2013-06-25T16:15:54Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > **Lady, ya done fucked up.** Now _I_ want a name change. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/45 "2013-06-25T16:27:06Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > I get almost everything in your story—including your later realization that you had acted dangerously—but I can’t understand how\*\* late for Kindergarten\*\* is an emergency. It’s not like your son was going to miss finals. At any rate, I’m glad no harm came to you. I suppose, in retrospect, it wasn’t an _emergency_, but by that logic, running late is almost never an emergency. I mean, I can say it would have counted against him, and it would have, but not by much, and by the same token, being late for work is no biggie either. Yet most people running late for work will try very hard to make it in on time. The school rule is you need to be there, in class, before a certain time. It’s was (still is) my job as his mother to get him there by that time. Due to my carelessness in oversleeping, I had failed to do my job as his mother properly, and that upset me. Not to sound snide, but I do take my kids’ educations very seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/46 "2013-06-25T16:29:02Z")
Yeah, but it’s kindergarden. It’s not like he missed his chance at a Fine Arts degree in finger-painting. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/47 "2013-06-25T16:35:38Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Don’t pit people for being stupid or unsuspicious or making a bad people judgement call. Not all people go around suspecting their fellow humans to be child murders. If anyone besides the child murdered that needs to die needs pitting it is the person that decided it was a good idea to release him from jail into the general unsuspecting population, despite his two previous convictions. They had the facts, they should have known better. I agree with this. Sometimes good people do stupid things. Once I pulled into a convenience store/gas station with a tire that was low. At the time I had no idea how to add air to a tire. I left my four year old in the car to try and figure it out. As I was struggling a young man came up and asked me if I had a cigarette. I said I didn’t smoke but I would buy him a pack if he put the air in my tire. It wasn’t until I got back from purchasing them that I realized not only did I leave my child in the car seat with the door unlocked, I left the MOTOR running. If that person had decided to steal my car and/or abduct my child, it would have been my stupidity that caused it. I have a lot of sympathy for this mother and her stupid decision. How many of us can say we have never done a really stupid thing? ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/48 "2013-06-25T16:38:48Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > by the same token, being late for work is no biggie either. As long as you have a job that pays more than minimum wage, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/49 "2013-06-25T16:46:28Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > I have a lot of sympathy for this mother and her stupid decision. How many of us can say we have never done a really stupid thing? None of us. Okay, now how many of us can say we have never done several distinct really stupid things in a row over the course of several hours? I think that number is far smaller, and a distinction several people are failing to make. Now, I suspect the man involved was an expert at allaying a mother’s fears and hiding red flags, and deliberately sought out someone whose resistance to him was going to be low. So it’s not like I blame her more than the murderer or anything. But her stupidity was exceptional, not run-of-the-mill we-all-make-mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/50 "2013-06-25T17:05:55Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > None of us. Okay, now how many of us can say we have never done several distinct really stupid things in a row over the course of several hours? I think that number is far smaller, and a distinction several people are failing to make. > > Now, I suspect the man involved was an expert at allaying a mother’s fears and hiding red flags, and deliberately sought out someone whose resistance to him was going to be low. So it’s not like I blame her more than the murderer or anything. But her stupidity was exceptional, not run-of-the-mill we-all-make-mistakes. Just-world hypothesis got you down? :rolleyes: Her stupidity is only exceptional when viewed through the hindsightful glasses of internet badasses sitting atop their lofty armchairs. Plenty of people \*in this thread \*(and the world) have accepted similar offers of generosity and lived to tell the tale. You didn’t hear about those incidents because most people aren’t murderous pedophiles, not because they _never happen_. Oh, we’re in the pit? Well… take that, you fucking idiot! And this! And how about some of _that_? Yeah! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/51 "2013-06-25T17:08:49Z")
When I was in college, I ended up in the apartment of a man I’d just met at a party, in the middle of the night, in a strange city. This was before cell phones, and I didn’t even have money to call a cab because I’d left my purse, which incidentally also contained the address of the place I was supposed to be staying at, in my friend’s car trunk. Long story, but let’s just say that I was intent on getting back at my boyfriend for ignoring me all night. It only dawned on me as I walked into that dark apartment with that 6’3" stranger how stupid I was being. But as stupid as I was, to this day I don’t believe I deserved what could have happened in that apartment, had he not been a gentleman. Yes, we all have really stupid lapses of judgment. That doesn’t mean that the people who commit acts of violence aren’t 100% responsible for what they do. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/52 "2013-06-25T17:41:45Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Yeah, but it’s kindergarden. It’s not like he missed his chance at a Fine Arts degree in finger-painting. I kinda-sorta get this, but for everyone who says getting to Kindergarten on time isn’t important… when does it become important? Obviously not in elementary school at all; very little of impact occurs there. Middle school is similarly unimportant. High school? Eh… I guess it only matters once you’re in college and you have a final? That was the implication earlier. But, how does one have the skills to arrive on time for finals in college if no one’s ever placed any importance on punctuality for the first 18 years of your life? I think I’m going to stick with my plan of teaching the importance of school from day one. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/53 "2013-06-25T17:45:00Z")
I gather this particular kindergarten’s playground slides were famous for their slipperiness. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/54 "2013-06-25T17:57:53Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Yes, that is true. But my point still stands, I am fairly sure she brought the kid along as protection, not so the kid could get a joy ride in her lap to the parts store. I think you’re right. My mom did this 35 years ago when we were on holiday in the medieval town of Fez in Morocco. My dad stayed back at the hotel, and mom and me walked to the Old Town. There, she was swarmed by Morrocan guys wanting to show her the town. Why they offered? Part of it was friendliness, part hoping to make a buck, part showing off, part.. maybe they were just bored. Anyway, she went with one guy and took me, her ten-year-old daughter, along as a chaperone. I only remember the walk because I pointed out to my mom a shop with a striking black-and-yellow tile pattern. The guy thought I wanted one of the sickly sweet deep fried pastries the store sold, so he insisted to buy one for me, and my mom made me eat it so as not to be impolite. Yeach.. Anyway, nothing bad happened and the guy delivered us back at the hotel. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/55 "2013-06-25T18:28:16Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Yes, that is true. But my point still stands, I am fairly sure she brought the kid along as protection, not so the kid could get a joy ride in her lap to the parts store. Very likely. But her approaching you is much safer than you approaching her, especially out of nowhere. I’m pretty suspicious, but it would pass the smell test for me. How many perverts hang around campsites waiting for women to come to them, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/56 "2013-06-25T18:41:00Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > How many perverts hang around campsites waiting for women to come to them, anyway? I would hope more than zero, but I admit I’ve never counted. It would mean one less pervert actively looking for women, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/57 "2013-06-25T19:26:00Z")
Following the OP’s summary: Thing 1: Being Approached and offered $100: a bit greedy, but totally forgivable. Thing 2: Having to follow the guy to meet his “wife” at Walmart for the card: same. Thing 3: Getting into the car. Not ideal, totally forgivable lapse in judgement. Thing 4: Getting a lunch at McD’s: natural, even. Thing 5: Parting from guy and 8-y-o dau. at the same time: unforgivable. Had this been Thing #1 or even thing#2, that would be a different story. It’s not the mother’s _fault_; it’s the murderer’s fault. The mother doesn’t _deserve_ this; nobody deserves to have their kid murdered. But the mother certainly exhibited several lapses in judgement over the course of a rather long period leading up to thing #5, and I can be sympathetic to her situation and still call her extremely stupid. Just letting your kid go with a stranger isn’t in and of itself that big of a deal, especially if you’ve had a chance to meet the person. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/58 "2013-06-25T20:12:00Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > One day, several years ago, my kindergarten aged son and I overslept, and we were running late for school. I got him dressed in a hurry, and ran out the door. The school was only a couple blocks away and we walked, but this was no day for walking! I picked up my little boy and I was running flat out to the school. A man I’d never seen before pulled over and asked me if I was going to the school, and was I running late? I said yes, and he offered to give us a ride, as he passed by the school on his way to work anyway. I got in the car, and he dropped us off at the school on time, and I thanked him profusely. When I told my (now ex) husband the story that night, he FREAKED OUT because I’d gotten into a car with a stranger, and put our son’s life in danger. And he was right. I realized then it was stupid, and dangerous, and I felt like such a fool. But in that moment, when I was desperate and he stopped, he was a fucking knight in shining armor. He was an angel, my savior! That’s pretty sad. I’ve accepted lifts and given lifts to strangers all over Europe, and while I wouldn’t advice young women travelling alone to accept lifts from strangers, it never occurred to me that children in the company with adults should be particular concerned or at risk. Let alone to the degree that one should freak out over the kindness of strangers giving you a lift. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/59 "2013-06-25T20:14:41Z")
Mother has claimed multiple times that she didn’t let the girl go with him; she says she was distracted and didn’t know right away that her daughter had followed the man. Having seen my own sister equally oblivious when shopping with her large family, and given that it was 11 pm, AND that the police say only a short period of time elapsed before she called them… I find her version altogether plausible. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803/60 "2013-06-25T20:53:46Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > When I was in college, I ended up in the apartment of a man I’d just met at a party, in the middle of the night, in a strange city. This was before cell phones, and I didn’t even have money to call a cab because I’d left my purse, which incidentally also contained the address of the place I was supposed to be staying at, in my friend’s car trunk. Long story, but let’s just say that I was intent on getting back at my boyfriend for ignoring me all night. It only dawned on me as I walked into that dark apartment with that 6’3" stranger how stupid I was being. But as stupid as I was, to this day I don’t believe I deserved what could have happened in that apartment, had he not been a gentleman. > > Yes, we all have really stupid lapses of judgment. That doesn’t mean that the people who commit acts of violence aren’t 100% responsible for what they do. See, I agree with your last statement completely, yet I think that many are arguing against something that’s not being said. No one in this thread has said this woman or her child _deserved_ the fate that be fell them. And literally everyone, including myself, has a story about how we have benefitted from the kindness of strangers. But as **Dr. Drake** pointed out more than once, it’s not about the _one_ (or, to be fair, a few) slips of judgment most people have in these circumstances. It doesn’t take a bad ass Monday morning armchair quarterback to realize that, _for the majority of people_, warning bells would’ve been exploding in their head to RUN FROM THE “CREEPY” GUY long before the whole thing ended in police and tears. Finally, if we personally can recognize what we’ve done in the past that was stupid (but turned out all right), why is it unacceptable to point out that her decision making was also stupid? We’re not saying it to her face, nor will we be the ones determining her conservatorship going forward. We’re just making observations on a message board with no indictments of anyone else or _their_ behaviors. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-mothers-epic-fail-of-common-sense-puts-her-child-in-the-hands-of-a-predator-and-killer/661803.md?page=4)