# Florida substitute teacher fired, accused of "wizardry" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2008, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338 "2008-05-06T20:45:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/41 "2008-05-07T11:32:07Z")
**Land o’ Lakes** school? Maybe they just wanted to stop the Wizard before he pulled this trick: [http://www.metacafe.com/watch/770238/make\_the\_land\_o\_lakes\_butter\_indian\_show\_you\_her\_boobies/](http://www.metacafe.com/watch/770238/make_the_land_o_lakes_butter_indian_show_you_her_boobies/) (That’d make a GREAT High School Yearbook cover, BTW.) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/42 "2008-05-07T13:31:49Z")
Instead of station WFTV, shouldn’t that be WTF-TV? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/43 "2008-05-07T13:36:05Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] Please read the article from the St Petersburg Times. Nowhere is there any evidence that the Pasco County School Board representative mentions “Wizardry”. This seems to come from the media that somehow got involved months later. The SPT article mentions “magic tricks”. For a Message Board theoretically devoted to fighting ignorance we are damned quick to become the mob given a lack of hard evidence. [/QUOTE] It wasn’t that he was fired for practicing wizardry in the classroom, it’s that he didn’t stick to the school board’s approved curriculum for 10th-grade Wizardry and the Dark Arts. Everyone knows that toothpick trick shouldn’t be taught until senior year. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/44 "2008-05-07T14:19:54Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] I’ll one-up you. In addition to returning Florida to its wild state, I’ll give Texas back to Mexico. [/QUOTE] I’m guessing the major effect of that would be the availability of more and better tacos. Other than that, I’m not sure we’d notice. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/45 "2008-05-07T14:39:37Z")
[QUOTE=cbawlmer] I’m guessing the major effect of that would be the availability of more and better tacos. Other than that, I’m not sure we’d notice. 😉 [/QUOTE] Anything to clear up the mess at the border crossings would be welcome. You guys up north can keep all that money you were going to spend on a [fence](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secure_Fence_Act_of_2006) and, I dunno, give it to Burma or something. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/46 "2008-05-07T14:43:19Z")
I don’t know about wizards but I do know there are witches in Florida; I dated one. She told me she was a witch and could cast a spell on me that would turn me into something. I laughed at her and told her she couldn’t do it. We were driving at the time; she leaned over, stuck her tongue in my ear and put her hand on my thigh. I turned into a motel almost immediately. What more proof do you need? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/47 "2008-05-07T14:48:22Z")
I would like to refer people back to posts #23, #35 and #36. The reports of wizardry seem greatly exaggerated. Did any of the articles show the supposed letter where the traumatized student complained of the alleged wizardry? Just because half the people in this state have voting issues doesn’t mean the entire state is full of inbred hicks straight out of a scene from Deliverance. The rest of you 49 states have your share of embarrassing incidents you just didn’t have to suffer the effects of yours and keep hearing about it for 8 long years. Although I do sometimes believe that Texas and Florida deserve some form of punishment for contributing to the Bush problem. Maine, too, you started it. But I can’t leave Florida, I think I would freeze to death if I had to move farther north than the panhandle. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/48 "2008-05-07T14:50:28Z")
I also dated a girl who was into witchcraft. She claimed she could turn me to stone. I laughed at the very notion. Then she showed me her breasts and I started getting hard. Witchcraft is real. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/49 "2008-05-07T15:01:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Then she showed me her breasts How cold were they? ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/50 "2008-05-07T15:09:14Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] How cold were they? [/QUOTE] As cold as a well digger’s butt? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/51 "2008-05-07T15:15:06Z")
[QUOTE=Amp] It’s because we’re Florida, “America’s Wang”. [/QUOTE] This should be on all the liscense plates from Florida. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/52 "2008-05-07T15:18:40Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] How cold were they? [/QUOTE] As cold as a witch’s t… …oh, I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/53 "2008-05-07T18:07:49Z")
Did she happen to say why witches wear brass bras? I’ve always wondered. And where do they buy them? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/54 "2008-05-07T18:14:19Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Sounds OK to me. I’d rather my kid have an educator than a “pal”. I work with learning-disabled kids at a high school, and you’d be surprised how much more productive the kids are once they have a rapport with their instructor, tutor, etc. It also helps develop a healthy, but not unquestioning, respect for authority when they feel they have something in common with us. JME. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/55 "2008-05-07T18:24:17Z")
[QUOTE=Amp] It’s because we’re Florida, “America’s Wang”. [/QUOTE] I prefer to think of it as the sewer into which all the filth of the East Coast drains. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/56 "2008-05-07T18:27:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Did she happen to say why witches wear brass bras? I’ve always wondered. And where do they buy them? They get them from the Brass Monkeys. The monkeys use the brass for jockstraps. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/57 "2008-05-07T19:00:51Z")
[QUOTE=maladroit] Did she happen to say why witches wear brass bras? I’ve always wondered. And where do they buy them? [/QUOTE] Actually, the witches I know prefer to wear no bras at all, especially the male ones. This, therefore, removes the problem of where to buy them. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Can\_Handle\_the\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Can\_Handle\_the\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Can_Handle_the_Truth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/58 "2008-05-10T18:44:58Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] I work with learning-disabled kids at a high school, and you’d be surprised how much more productive the kids are once they have a rapport with their instructor, tutor, etc. It also helps develop a healthy, but not unquestioning, respect for authority when they feel they have something in common with us. JME. [/QUOTE] Maybe so; I don’t have formal training as a teacher. All I know is from my own experience and what I read in the Substitute Handbook. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/59 "2008-05-10T20:30:58Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] And you don’t want to know what will happen to New Jersey! [/QUOTE] You’re not gonna push the “flush” handle, are you? 'Cuz that would be very, very naughty! Definitely don’t do that… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338/60 "2008-05-10T20:51:19Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] I also dated a girl who was into witchcraft. She claimed she could turn me to stone. I laughed at the very notion. Then she showed me her breasts and I started getting hard. Witchcraft is real. [/QUOTE] I appreciate the confirmation. Witchcraft is indeed real. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/florida-substitute-teacher-fired-accused-of-wizardry/448338.md?page=4)