# Florida's modern-day executions are too humane... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533 "2011-10-13T14:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/21 "2011-10-13T16:03:06Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > His rationale, which he came to after talking with some dude at a Waffle House earlier this year, is that 90% of people would want to die in their sleep, and why would we want to give a convicted death row criminal something that he wants, right? I suppose death by ooga booga is right out, then? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/22 "2011-10-13T16:06:00Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > I support the death penalty, but absolutely NOT for the purpose of revenge, as it seems the person mentioned in the OP does. I support it because, in short, I believe that justice is supposed to establish a balance and that there is no punishment that balances against taking the life of another person. And it is precisely with that same logic that an execution doesn’t need to be gruesome or painful, because the death itself is the ultimate punishment. By doing anything above and beyond what we need to do, we then further create an imbalance in effectively torturing a condemned man. All making a more gruesome death does is provide some sort of visceral satisfaction that we’re making him suffer more which I don’t think can be attributed to anything but revenge. > > And, really, I don’t see how anyone who actually thinks about it for more than a minute or two even thinks it accomplishes anything. If one believes in hell, then anything we do on Earth doesn’t compare to sending them to eternal torment that much sooner. If one believes in some sort of reincarnation or whatever, those last moments of pain will mostly be forgotten and they’ll have their whole next life to pay for their crime. If one is an atheist or believe in annihilation or no afterlife or whatever, the pain is pointless as they’re going to oblivion and won’t be able to have any sort of experience of it after they die. Pretty much no matter what you believe, any brief suffering in one’s last moments are utterly pointless as far as making the punishment worse. > > Either way, the guy is exactly the sort of loud and obnoxious idiot that makes debates about the death penalty that much more difficult and furthers it as a bane on our society rather than as an extremely unfortunate but necessary component of establishing a culture of justice. But the added discomfort bestowed upon the convicted will give the twits who yell “Huzzah!” when a man is executed an even-more rock-hard boner. Right? And who doesn’t like a rock-hard boner? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/23 "2011-10-13T16:24:16Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Pffft. You lily-livered criminal-lover. [Scaphism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaphism) is the only way to go when you want real “rehabilitation”. I feel ill. Grateful to be living in a time and place where this is (I hope) not practised, but also, very, very ill. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/24 "2011-10-13T16:30:46Z")
If we try hard enough, we might be able to sell Florida to the Seminoles. Anything to get them out of the USA. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/25 "2011-10-13T16:32:32Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > But the added discomfort bestowed upon the convicted will give the twits who yell “Huzzah!” when a man is executed an even-more rock-hard boner. Right? And who doesn’t like a rock-hard boner? Lesbians. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/26 "2011-10-13T16:38:18Z")
He’s from the Panhandle. Blame Alabama. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/27 "2011-10-13T16:38:19Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Lesbians. Yeah but they’re only lesbians because they’ve never seen a good post-execution high hard one. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/28 "2011-10-13T16:40:49Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#): > > How about the Iron Maiden! Excellent! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/29 "2011-10-13T16:42:18Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Drawing and quartering? That’s not so bad! Using wild tortoises. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/30 "2011-10-13T17:27:26Z")
I was just reading that firing squad is actually the least painful way to be executed, although I’m not sure how anyone could really know that. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/31 "2011-10-13T17:39:13Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > I was just reading that firing squad is actually the least painful way to be executed, although I’m not sure how anyone could really know that. From the lack of complaints received from the “How did you like our service” cards. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/32 "2011-10-13T17:47:42Z")
> [@From linked article](#): > > Drake, a Republican, said the idea came to him after having a conversation with a constituent at a Waffle House over the legal battles associated with the Sept. 28 execution of Manuel Valle. He makes this sound like a sophisticated exchange-- “a conversation with a constituent…over the legal battles associated with the Sept. 28 execution of Manuel Valle”?!? I guaran-damn-tee this conversation went something like this: Waffle House diner: I’m so sick of these liberals standin’ up for these sick animals on death row. We should just shoot their asses or let ‘em fry like we used ta. State Sen. Drake: I like the cut o’ your jib, old bean. I’ll get right on that. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/33 "2011-10-13T17:48:29Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > I was just reading that firing squad is actually the least painful way to be executed, although I’m not sure how anyone could really know that. Imagine an applause-o-meter rigged for screaming. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/34 "2011-10-13T17:50:57Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > …or so says one Florida state legistaor, [who is introducing a bill in January to force death row inmates to choose between electrocution and the firing squad](http://news.yahoo.com/fla-lawmaker-wants-bring-back-firing-squads-110708935.html). Well, that’s an improvement, his first idea was to introduce \*Human Centipede \*as a method of execution. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/35 "2011-10-13T18:11:20Z")
Preface: I am against the death penalty in almost all cases for a variety of reasons. Am I the only one that really isn’t bothered by this? Remember, these are the people who our justice system has determined worthy of _death_. They (ignoring miscarriages of justice) did something truly horrific in order to deserve it. At that point, why be kind to them in dying? Why _shouldn’t_ they be killed in the most horrific way that doesn’t cross the line between murder and torture (firing squad/hanging/stabbing is murder; tying someone up until they starve/die of septic shock is clearly torture)? It makes it clear: “if you do this, you will not only die, but die _badly_” and really adds to the horror factor. I mean, not everyone is afraid of death, but nobody likes pain. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/36 "2011-10-13T18:14:50Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Mine would involve several hundred Swedish Women’s Volleyball Team members slowly descending on … well, I won’t tell you out of fear of someone putting it into place in a cruel (in a kind sort of way) assassination attempt. > > Of course, if you want to _try_ and figure it out, feel free to send wave after wave of hopefuls. That which doesn’t kill me just makes me want to roll over and go to sleep afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/37 "2011-10-13T18:19:24Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Drawing and quartering? That’s not so bad! Do we really want to start down this path? We’ll have people proposing we cut prisoners into eighths. And then somebody will top that with sixteenths. And then thirty-seconds. Pretty soon we’ll be sentencing people to be drawn and thrown into a wood chipper. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/38 "2011-10-13T18:23:57Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Do we really want to start down this path? We’ll have people proposing we cut prisoners into eighths. And then somebody will top that with sixteenths. And then thirty-seconds. Pretty soon we’ll be sentencing people to be drawn and thrown into a wood chipper. Well a wood chipper saves money on feeding the horses, so that’s good. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/39 "2011-10-13T18:37:10Z")
From Tom Paxton’s “Bring Back The Chair”: The present rules could use revision. Make the obvious decision. Put it all on television. Let’s bring back the chair. Slap a little makeup to 'em As the juices sizzle through them Howard Cosell\* can interview them Bring back the chair. \*Obviously a very old song. Today I’d use “Oprah Winfrey.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/40 "2011-10-13T18:41:35Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > At that point, why be kind to them in dying? Why _shouldn’t_ they be killed in the most horrific way that doesn’t cross the line between murder and torture Because we’re supposed to be a civilized society. Inflicting horrific pain should not be part of our justice system. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533.md?page=3)