# Florida's modern-day executions are too humane... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533 "2011-10-13T14:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/61 "2011-10-13T21:07:38Z")
> [@bup](#): > > It stands to reason. Since people who have been shot and _not died_ report that it’s so painless… I think the dying relieves a lot of the pain. Without the dying part, all execution methods are pretty…well, gruesome. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/62 "2011-10-13T21:15:41Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#): > > At least it gets you outside. > > How about the Iron Maiden! Absolutely not. Forcing some poor bastard to listen to _The Number of the Beast_ or _Powerslave_ over and over and over again until he begs for the sweet release of death is just not what a civilized society should do. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/63 "2011-10-13T21:38:20Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I think the dying relieves a lot of the pain. Without the dying part, all execution methods are pretty…well, gruesome. You got me. The belief that shooting is the least painful form of execution is well founded. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/64 "2011-10-13T22:54:16Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > A death fantasy that comes up a couple times in \*Sandman \*involves “head crushed by an elephant’s foot while at the point of orgasm” (the guy orgasming, not the elephant. One hopes.) Gaiman stole that line from Roger Zelazny. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/65 "2011-10-14T01:11:01Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Serial killing sociopaths DO NOT FEEL GUILT! They often keep trophies of their kills and revisit their dumpsites. Ted Bundy used to revisit his corpses, wash their hair, put makeup on them, and then jerk off in their mouths. He also became a jailhouse lawyer to gain access to photos of his crime scenes so he could jerk off to them. > > Stop assuming sociopaths have your moral standards. I assume nothing (except, perhaps foolishly, that people pay attention when I mention the fact that capital punishment is wrong, always and everywhere). I posted: > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Death is over too quickly. > > I prefer the idea letting them stew in their own guilt for as long as it takes for them to feel remorse and want to atone for what they did. Maybe they’ll get to a point where they beg for the opportunity and means to commit suicide – which will be denied, of course. **And if guilt doesn’t take, soul-crushing boredom will be a fine second choice.** I suppose I should have bolded that the first time. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/66 "2011-10-14T02:04:20Z")
The execution methods of the future are: 1. Burning at the stake. 2. Dinner for army ants. Those are all. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/67 "2011-10-14T02:54:03Z")
Bring back stoning, and let the victims and/or their families huck the rocks at the condemned. That’s gotta provide better r̶e̶v̶e̶n̶g̶e̶ closure than just watching some boring lethal injection. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > From Tom Paxton’s “Bring Back The Chair”: > > The present rules could use revision. > Make the obvious decision. > Put it all on television. > Let’s bring back the chair. > Slap a little makeup to 'em > As the juices sizzle through them > Howard Cosell\* can interview them > Bring back the chair. > > \*Obviously a very old song. Today I’d use “Oprah Winfrey.” As long as we’re televising executions, why not make them fight to the death as gladiators? Put it on pay-per-view; I’m sure it will help sports bars sell beer and wings. Of course, we can’t allow the condemned to ever win their freedom, but the longer they keep winning their bouts, the more time they have for their lawyers to work on their appeals. Better yet, they could raise money for the government’s coffers by auctioning off the privilege of executing the condemned. That way, law-abiding citizens can get the rush of ending a human life, and keep taxes low in the process. The winner of the auction will be able to choose from a variety of execution methods, but some will cost extra. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/68 "2011-10-14T03:12:50Z")
Firing squad seems like a lousy idea because of the wasteful excess in number of people doing the executing, if for no other reason. Being an executioner is not a nice job and lots of people who’ve done it found it psychologically traumatic, even though what they were doing was legal. Shooting a fellow human being in cold blood, even a vile criminal, is not most people’s idea of a fun time. If someone is bothered by deliberate killing, it’s not really fair to saddle them with the responsibility of being a capital executioner. If somebody’s not bothered by deliberate killing, on the other hand, it might be not really wise to indulge them with the opportunity of being a capital executioner. Requiring a humane law-abiding person to be a killer is one of the unavoidable downsides if a society chooses to use capital punishment. I don’t get the point of making that downside any worse than it needs to be by deliberately preferring an execution method that requires **five** humane law-abiding persons to be killers. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/69 "2011-10-14T03:15:55Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Bring back stoning, and let the victims and/or their families huck the rocks at the condemned. That’s gotta provide better r̶e̶v̶e̶n̶g̶e̶ closure than just watching some boring lethal injection. > > As long as we’re televising executions, why not make them fight to the death as gladiators? Put it on pay-per-view; I’m sure it will help sports bars sell beer and wings. Of course, we can’t allow the condemned to ever win their freedom, but the longer they keep winning their bouts, the more time they have for their lawyers to work on their appeals. > > Better yet, they could raise money for the government’s coffers by auctioning off the privilege of executing the condemned. That way, law-abiding citizens can get the rush of ending a human life, and keep taxes low in the process. The winner of the auction will be able to choose from a variety of execution methods, but some will cost extra. And sell corporate sponsorships! Like “The Arizona Iced Tea Fight to the Death Show brought to you in part by [del]Fuddruckers[/del] [del]Futtbuckers[/del] [del]Buttruckers[/del] Buttfuckers!” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/70 "2011-10-14T03:42:46Z")
Hozabout tossing them out of an airplane without a parachute? They’d have a very thoughtful last five minutes or so. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/71 "2011-10-14T04:08:05Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Since it’s currently considered the most humane method, someone somewhere must have postulated that it was so. I have no idea what thought process led them to that conclusion, but I’d bet that they were wearing lab coats and being all sciency at the time. Isn’t the first stage of lethal injection just a general anaesthesia? Since we have a ton of knowledge that GA allows people to be cut open, have organs removed, hearts stopped for a time, and otherwise physically screwed around with during other surgical procedures, and the patients really don’t remember the surgeries, it’s pretty safe to say that a criminal being executed doesn’t consciously experience the next step, which is the whole stopping of the heart and brain thing. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/72 "2011-10-14T04:37:15Z")
> [@bup](#): > > What is ‘badly,’ by the way? Painfully? In a way that leaves a mess for Mike Rowe to clean up? If we’re getting cable television involved, maybe we should delegate the executions to _Mythbusters_. Buster’s looking pretty ragged. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/73 "2011-10-14T04:55:05Z")
Brad Drake’s [world view](http://braddrake.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=4&Itemid=5)(I guess). He’s also a member of 1st Baptist Church of DeFuniak Springs. I predict the bill will die in committee. IMO, his motivation comes across as being sincere…but the rational he gives justifying the less gory forms is just plain goofy and petty: > [@](#): > > Lethal injection just allows a person to die in their sleep while a firing squad or electrocution would force death row inmates to think about their punishment “every morning,” Drake said. Did he actually asked the inmates on Florida’s death row how they perceive which kind of death penalty is applied to them? Kinda doubt it–the answers may not fit Drake’s preconceived notions. Some have asked if lethal injection would allow for organ donations. From what I’ve read, no. The organs are seriously damaged by the current death drug regimen. I remember specifically the quote, “the organs looked cooked.” Per IIRC, an execution by lethal injection involves the following: the first injection is sodium thiopental (or pentobarbital?), the second is pancuronium bromide which among other things causes the diaphragm to cease moving, and the third is potassium chloride which stops the heart. Even this method of execution is under attack, however. I’ve heard it proposed that strapping a mask on the prisoner and supplying pure N2 would be a simple and painless way to execute a person with the possibility of harvesting the organs afterwards. But my source for this is anecdotal. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/74 "2011-10-14T05:19:53Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I’m sure that there are ways to find out without asking the decedents. After all, how do we know that lethal injection is more painless than hanging? We don’t; I understand that the chemicals used cause agonizing pain even on skin contact much less injection. But one of the drugs included is a paralytic, so we can torture them to death without all that embarrassing writhing and screaming. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/75 "2011-10-14T07:05:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The execution methods of the future are: > > 1. Burning at the stake. > > 2. Dinner for army ants. > > Those are all. But not both or we’ll have PETA on our ass. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/76 "2011-10-14T07:08:37Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > His rationale, which he came to after talking with some dude at a Waffle House earlier this year, is that 90% of people would want to die in their sleep, and why would we want to give a convicted death row criminal something that he wants, right? Like a peaceful early death at the hands of the state. So let’s show those inmates we mean business and not execute them by lethal injection. You want to die in your sleep so bad? Well screw you, we’re going to keep you alive for another forty years! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/77 "2011-10-14T07:33:29Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I assume nothing (except, perhaps foolishly, that people pay attention when I mention the fact that capital punishment is wrong, always and everywhere). I posted:I suppose I should have bolded that the first time. My vindictiveness actually manifests in the form of wishing there was some chemical that would make you feel guilty. I know, I know, it could easily be abused. But that’s all I want. I want people to feel remorse for horrible actions. I want it to hurt when they even think about what they did. And the bonus is that, eventually, they’ll learn not to think about it, and be fine. But that also means they won’t be able to do it. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/78 "2011-10-14T09:19:28Z")
My take on execution is called the “rabid dog” principle. If this person has truly become an unredeemable threat to the populace, put him down like you would a dog. Quickly and cleanly, but without malice or vengeance. Vindictiveness should not even come into the equation. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/79 "2011-10-14T11:31:08Z")
Sell the executee to the “Top Shot” TV people; they could then tie him (or her) to a rotating wheel and every member of the crew could take turns throwing knives or hatchets or whatever at him until some one manages to kill him (or her). ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/80 "2011-10-14T11:39:41Z")
Well obviously Brad Drake doesn’t have 100 cents in his dollar and is quite the fuckwit but let’s not forget that other people elected him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533.md?page=5)