# Florida's modern-day executions are too humane... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533 "2011-10-13T14:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/81 "2011-10-14T12:36:24Z")
> [@SeaCanary](#): > > …Going out on a limb here, I suspect Drake’s religion is of a fundamentalist Christianity kinda thing. I wonder if he considered crucifixion? Nope, too Catholic. Most of the Fundies are agin’ [Graven Images](http://www.ianpaisley.org/article.asp?ArtKey=imageworship)–they might have cross-shaped decorations in their houses of worship, but no crucifixes… ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/82 "2011-10-14T13:03:42Z")
If only Brad Drake had been given that [Ballerina Barbie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9OhykhqC2Q&feature=related) on his 9th birthday… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/83 "2011-10-14T13:30:05Z")
I believe that anyone given a death penalty should die in the same way they killed their victims. I’d love to see OJ sliced up like a side of beef. ---
**Author:** ![velveeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/13edae/32.png) [@velveeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velveeta)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/84 "2011-10-14T14:00:55Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > As long as we’re televising executions, why not make them fight to the death as gladiators? [Death Race!](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452608/) ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/85 "2011-10-14T14:24:46Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Oh, that’s good. And if you just need something like tendons, or eyes, where it won’t kill the prisoner, you can keep those other organs like a heart or lungs ‘on the hoof’ until needed. I was thinking more of using chemical or electronic means of execution that would reduce the murderer to a vegetative state so most of the organs can be harvested without elaborate life support. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/86 "2011-10-14T14:44:18Z")
Er, [no thanks](http://www.sfms.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&CONTENTID=1540&TEMPLATE=/CM/HTMLDisplay.cfm&SECTION=Article_Archives), **JoelUpchurch** … ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/87 "2011-10-14T15:19:44Z")
> [@Omg\_a\_Black\_Conservative](#): > > The firing squad is actually quick and painless. Or so I’ve heard. Eh, this is probably close to true. Death comes very, very quickly when your heart and lungs are pulped by gunfire. With lethal injection, there’s the risk that you could be inadequately anesthetized at the time the paralytic and heart-stopping agents are administered; as a result, you die unable to scream, but in considerable agony. Given the choice, I’d prefer the firing squad. This isn’t meant as a defense of the death penalty, which I find monstrous - nor of this idiotic state senator. But if one absolutely, positively has to kill people, it’s probably better to do so via firing squad than with lethal injection as currently formulated. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/88 "2011-10-14T15:46:49Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > I was thinking more of using chemical or electronic means of execution that would reduce the murderer to a vegetative state so most of the organs can be harvested without elaborate life support. Why even execute them, though? Give them general anesthesia and take what you need. If the surgery is fatal, so be it. If not, keep the patient (that’s what they call condemned prisoners they’re executing) alive until we need that lung. I guess if you can organize it, you could have the person needing the lungs, the person needing the heart, the person needing eyes, and two people needing kidneys all ‘at the ready,’ but finding a day when they’re all free might be hard. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/89 "2011-10-14T15:48:45Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Er, [no thanks](http://www.sfms.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&CONTENTID=1540&TEMPLATE=/CM/HTMLDisplay.cfm&SECTION=Article_Archives), **JoelUpchurch** … Do you actually believe this? :dubious: I subscribe to the principle that one should keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out of my head. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/90 "2011-10-14T15:55:02Z")
If you want painless I’d suggest a one ton stone block on rails dropped from 50 feet onto the head. It would smush your brain flat faster than anything other than a very powerful explosion. Also, it destroys the face, so there is a cathartic erasing of the victim’s identity. Conversely, you could just stop executing people because it’s fucking primitive. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/91 "2011-10-14T15:56:13Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Why even execute them, though? Give them general anesthesia and take what you need. If the surgery is fatal, so be it. If not, keep the patient (that’s what they call condemned prisoners they’re executing) alive until we need that lung. There’s that pesky 8th amendment, though. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/92 "2011-10-14T16:18:54Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > I still think executions should be conducted by using them as organ donors. I think people will be a lot less tolerant of endless appeals and stays when a convicted murderer’s organs could save half a dozen lives. The slippery slope here is that there are never enough donor organs, and it’ll only get worse as medical science continues to improve. So society starts making more and more crimes punishable by donation, to fill the demand. Soon, jaywalking costs you a kidney, and a DUI gets you parted-out completely. Read Larry Niven. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/93 "2011-10-14T16:46:06Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > There’s that pesky 8th amendment, though. These ideas aren’t cruel and unusual; they’re _enhanced execution techniques_. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/94 "2011-10-14T18:04:34Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > The slippery slope here is that there are never enough donor organs, and it’ll only get worse as medical science continues to improve. So society starts making more and more crimes punishable by donation, to fill the demand. Soon, jaywalking costs you a kidney, and a DUI gets you parted-out completely. Read Larry Niven. Larry Niven is one of my favorite authors and if you read some of his non-fiction articles, even he doesn’t buy this slippery slope argument. You need to learn the difference between arguments authors use to advance the narrative and arguments they actually believe. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/95 "2011-10-14T18:17:39Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Why even execute them, though? Give them general anesthesia and take what you need. If the surgery is fatal, so be it. If not, keep the patient (that’s what they call condemned prisoners they’re executing) alive until we need that lung. > > I guess if you can organize it, you could have the person needing the lungs, the person needing the heart, the person needing eyes, and two people needing kidneys all ‘at the ready,’ but finding a day when they’re all free might be hard. I’m soundly pro-death penalty, but I wouldn’t support death by organ donation. I realize the intention is noble, but it feels too much like, well, butchery. Carving a living person up until he’s dead? Yergh. Besides, I don’t know that there are many doctors who’d participate, what with that oath and all. As an alternative to lethal injection, I propose [nitrogen asphyxiation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_asphyxiation). Purportedly painless and stress-free. I realize that goes against the wishes of the legislator in the OP, but them’s the breaks. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/96 "2011-10-14T18:17:43Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > If you want painless I’d suggest a one ton stone block on rails dropped from 50 feet onto the head. It would smush your brain flat faster than anything other than a very powerful explosion. > > Also, it destroys the face, so there is a cathartic erasing of the victim’s identity. > > Conversely, you could just stop executing people because it’s fucking primitive. I suspect that the most humane execution method ever devised was the Guillotine. The only improvement I can imagine would be something that just instantly vaporized your head. I am frankly not convinced the locking someone in a cage for the rest of their life is actually more humane than executing them. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/97 "2011-10-14T18:26:08Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Why even execute them, though? Give them general anesthesia and take what you need. If the surgery is fatal, so be it. If not, keep the patient (that’s what they call condemned prisoners they’re executing) alive until we need that lung. > > I guess if you can organize it, you could have the person needing the lungs, the person needing the heart, the person needing eyes, and two people needing kidneys all ‘at the ready,’ but finding a day when they’re all free might be hard. Good luck finding a surgeon to perform the harvesting. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/98 "2011-10-14T18:31:05Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > A death fantasy that comes up a couple times in \*Sandman \*involves “head crushed by an elephant’s foot while at the point of orgasm” (the guy orgasming, not the elephant. One hopes.) > > Sounds about right to me, although the logistics involved might be a problem. For one thing, there’d be a literal elephant in the room while one’s… busy. Very distracting, I should think. I think I read one Sandman…but I can’t quite conceive how that fantasy could come up more than once. And if it was elephant orgasming I think it would be death by drowning… > [@bup](#): > > I guess if you can organize it, you could have the person needing the lungs, the person needing the heart, the person needing eyes, and two people needing kidneys all ‘at the ready,’ but finding a day when they’re all free might be hard. Seriously? I think I can make time in my busy schedule for a heart transplant, if I’m someone who ends up on the “kinda needs a heart transplant” list. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/99 "2011-10-14T18:31:21Z")
Maybe it wouldn’t have to be a doctor. Just someone from one of those emergicare places. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533/100 "2011-10-14T18:33:41Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > I’m soundly pro-death penalty, but I wouldn’t support death by organ donation. I realize the intention is noble, but it feels too much like, well, butchery. Carving a living person up until he’s dead? Yergh. Besides, I don’t know that there are many doctors who’d participate, what with that oath and all. I’m assuming that we would specially training technicians for these procedures. Almost all medical training would be irrelevant to the disassembly procedure and as you point out the oath would be an issue. You would rather see innocent people die of heart, lung, pancreas and kidney failure because of your squeamishness? You of course have the right to refuse a transplant. I suspect that someone whose mother dies because of your sentimentality will be less understanding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/floridas-modern-day-executions-are-too-humane/599533.md?page=6)