# Folks sitting at their desks and refusing to interact **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113 "2009-04-23T17:07:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Orpington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cc9497/32.png) [@Orpington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orpington)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/101 "2009-04-26T20:28:22Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > It’s a _very_ relaxed work atmosphere. We don’t punch clocks here and as long as our work is completed, we don’t get grief over surfing the Internet, playing computer games, or handling personal business. Nobody is forced to time their bathroom breaks or things like that. I’ve seen people hanging out in the corridors chatting for what seems like hours. That’s at least part of the reason why this kind of clock-watching seems so out of place. But you’re paid hourly? See, this is all confusing to me, because my jobs have either been hourly, where barring emergencies, at least lunch is pretty strictly observed (maybe more flexible with breaks); or salaried, where you pretty much are expected to be ready to work if you are on the premises. What you describe sounds like a salaried situation with hourly pay. So it’s confusing. ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/102 "2009-04-27T01:59:54Z")
> [@Orpington](#): > > Especially #3; the way you describe it, she immediately told you she was feeling unwell and asked you to come back after lunch. Maybe she failed to say please, but that doesn’t necessarily make it rude. Maybe she wasn’t as chipper and cheery about it as would have been preferred, but if you had a headache and were awakened by surprise don’t you think you might have been a little rude too, if only unintentionally? And she did continue and ask what you needed. It actually seems to me like she did ok under the circumstances. Maybe not perfect, but again, is anyone perfect 100% of the time? Sorry if that’s occasionally upsetting. This is what I find so confusing about the story. The OP was surprised to find her sleeping, and acted, IMO, rudely and inappropriately. I can understand that sometimes we react differently when surprised than we might when we have our wits about us, but **acsenray** continues to insist that no, he wasn’t rude - he was surprised and so had no control over his reaction. Yet when attempts are made to point out that she too was surprised and so perhaps had no control over her reaction, it is maintained that no, she was rude but **acsenray** merely surprised. So why it’s ok for **acsenray** to behave in a questionable manner under certain circumstances but others must be polite and professional at all times is escaping me. As I stated before, I don’t excuse the desk-lunchers their rudeness - I think that they should have politely advised **acsenray** that they were on lunch - but I also don’t accept that **acsenray** is a pure and innocent example of professionalism and courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/103 "2009-04-27T03:41:57Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > The OP was surprised to find her sleeping, and acted, IMO, rudely and inappropriately. I categorically reject this. I hesitated and if anything merely waited for her to take the lead and then left as soon as possible. It was not rude of me for not immediately knowing what to do. It was rude of her to put me in the awkward position of not knowing what to do. > [@](#): > > Yet when attempts are made to point out that she too was surprised and so perhaps had no control over her reaction I don’t care how surprised anyone is, I have never barked at anyone in a professional situation. If I was caught sleeping like that, I would immediately apologize to the person walking in on me for putting him or her in such an awkward and embarrassing situation. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/104 "2009-04-27T07:03:12Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > That’s just plain bullshit. It’s never rude to seek to interact politely and professionally with someone in a public place. This is their work station. It’s not their bedroom or the toilet. If they don’t want to interact with people, they should remove themselves to a non-public place. Oh, whatever. You can keep saying this all you like, but that won’t make it a rule. People can take breaks wherever they want, be it at their desk or alone in their car. Those same people should also be able to expect an uninterrupted lunch hour, no matter where they are. if you don’t like it, lobby management to mandate that breaks be taken away from desks. > [@](#): > > The same thing applies to cashiers, bank tellers, and post office employees. If the customers can see you, you should be taking their questions. If you are not working, then you should not be at a work station. Hey, I agree. The problem is, you’re not a customer. You’re a co-worker. It’s okay to take your break at your desk in an office setting, because most people expect you to treat their breaks as sacred as they would treat yours. Cashiers, bank tellers, and post office employees don’t usually take their breaks at their workstations, because they know that customers won’t respect their breaks. If you’re categorically rejecting any opinions other than your own, I’m curious to know why you even broached the topic for discussion. Rather than ask for ideas in the OP, perhaps you should have said “I already understand that I’m right and anyone who disagrees is wrong; this behavior is rude, period.” Oh, and this: > [@](#): > > If I was caught sleeping like that, I would immediately apologize to the person walking in on me for putting him or her in such an awkward and embarrassing situation. Is just :dubious:. Apologize all you want; I’ll still feel like the dumbass that I am for waking you up on your break. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/105 "2009-04-27T13:44:41Z")
Is this thread reminding anyone else of a certain recent thread? One person bitches because other people aren’t following what she believes is a 'rule." And no matter how many other posters tell her there simply isn’t such a rule, certainly not as a universally accepted thing, she simply dismisses what they say and continues on with how awful people are to break her rule? Okay, the other woman was more clearly delusional about it (10+ page thread on how waiters must do their tasks in precisely the order of the customer’s arrival, plus sub rules on how drinks should be refilled) but I’m getting a similar whiff of “my mind is not just made up on this point, it is locked down and set in concrete and nothing said will ever penetrate.” ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/106 "2009-04-27T13:49:24Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > I categorically reject this. I hesitated and if anything merely waited for her to take the lead and then left as soon as possible. It was not rude of me for not immediately knowing what to do. It was rude of her to put me in the awkward position of not knowing what to do. No, you giggled. I understand that you didn’t immediately know what to do, but it doesn’t mean that what you DID do was polite or professional. I understand that she didn’t immediately know what to do, but that doesn’t mean that what she did do was polite or professional. How do you seriously not see that perhaps BOTH of you could have altered your behaviour somewhat to smooth this interaction? You both were surprised at the behaviour of the other, and reacted to it. You both did exactly the same thing! How in the world is it entirely her fault? I am just bewildered by this. You repeatedly talk about the rudeness of your coworkers and how there should be disciplinary action, yet absolutely refuse to accept that you could have any fault whatsoever. Consulting with the union because three separate people used a tone you didn’t like on three separate occasions over a nine year period seems like a pretty big overreaction to me. Although you have made it clear that in your opinion they should not have break at their desks, obviously their opinions differ and are backed by their managers. Your work was not affected by their actions, nor were your rights violated. You had to wait for assistance, just as you would have had they taken their breaks where you think they should have. So all this is over your perception of how they spoke to you, yet you refuse to see that others may perceive your actions as rude and are merely reacting to that. As many people have suggested, you might find interactions at work more pleasant if instead of having your feathers ruffled that others choose to work in a different style than you, you accept this new knowledge and broach future situations with a different attitude. ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113/107 "2009-04-27T13:54:35Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > I don’t care how surprised anyone is, I have never barked at anyone in a professional situation. I don`t think anyone has disagreed with you that these women should have behaved differently. I just think that you should have, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/folks-sitting-at-their-desks-and-refusing-to-interact/494113.md?page=5)