# Fondly remembered lines from Mad magazine movie spoofs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 19, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743 "2002-07-19T02:36:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/41 "2002-07-23T02:49:13Z")
Gaines was in some Nat. Geo. article about either New York or the Statue of Liberty (the renovation project?). I remember a picture of him lodged in the arm of the statue trying to climb up a tiny ladder. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/42 "2002-07-23T12:46:54Z")
“The Planet of the Apes”–When the Charlton Heston character gets his voice back, his first words are \*\* Let My People Go. \*\* One ape to the other: Boy, he never forgets a catch phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/43 "2002-07-23T13:40:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sublight \* > \*\*Gaines was in some Nat. Geo. article about either New York or the Statue of Liberty (the renovation project?). I remember a picture of him lodged in the arm of the statue trying to climb up a tiny ladder. \*\* Yup, that’s it. It was the Statue renovation, and he and his wife had a very large collection of Liberty statuettes. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/44 "2002-07-23T16:16:16Z")
> [@](#): > > ``` > From "Obituaries For TV Show Characters" (#194 Oct 1977): > Space Hero James Kirk Dies In NY Mugging: "I recall one of the > muggers shouting, 'Kill the mother,' which surprised me, as Captain > Kirk, to my knowledge, had never bore children." Spock said. > > ``` Yippee! It’s fun when your memory is sort of accurate. And, I turned 14 the month that issue was published, so 12 was off the mark. But then, I frequently think I was younger than I was when recalling things from my childhood. At least I’m consistent. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/45 "2002-07-23T16:45:51Z")
I remembered browsing through a MAD at a magazine stand, and seeing an article having to do with doggy-doo, and they had drawn link sausages in the place of dog turds. I would have guessed I was 11 or 12 when I saw the article. A few years ago, I got the “Totally Mad” CD-ROM set, and found the article. I was shocked to see that it was printed when I was 6!!! Or course, it is quite possible I was reading it from a “Super Special” or some such thing where they re-printed it years later. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/46 "2002-07-23T21:28:11Z")
I have a Totally Mad box set on order via eBay. It’ll be one of the first installs for my new computer. Lowbrow humor on a high-end computer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/47 "2002-07-23T22:00:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SolGrundy \* > \*\*From one of the Empire Strikes Back parodies: > > “Luke… I am your father!” > “Dad wasn’t black!” > “It’s a mask, you idiot!” \*\* And in the _Jedi_ spoof, (don’t it look funny when it isn’t spelled spoofe?) when Luke took off Vader’s Helmet: **V:** Well? Aren’t you going to say anything? **L:** Yeah. I’m glad I got my looks from my mother! ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/48 "2002-07-24T02:34:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Harvey \* > \*\*\*\*[sup]TOO MUCH SPARE TIME DEPT.\*\*[/sup][ul] > > [li]From “Obituaries For TV Show Characters” (#194 Oct 1977):[/li]Space Hero James Kirk Dies In NY Mugging: “I recall one of the muggers shouting, ‘Kill the mother,’ which surprised me, as Captain Kirk, to my knowledge, had never bore children.” Spock said.[/ul] > \*\* Yeah, that sounds right. Not the Trek spoof itself, but a similar idea. Right time frame too. (I really was 12 that year!) ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/49 "2002-07-24T05:29:34Z")
I can only remember two: A Crock of Sh\*t Now (which I didn’t get since I was way too young to see the movie) and Grease. I remember the panel in Grease where they are at the drive-in and word is getting out that Rizzo might be pregnant. One guy says to the other “That’s it, I’m leaving town” and the other said “The whole TOWN is leaving town!” You even see dogs running flat out, panicked. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/50 "2002-07-24T14:45:24Z")
How about a TV spoof? The end of the Square Pegs spoof had the school getting a new principal, who turned out to be Mr. Kotter. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/51 "2002-07-24T15:42:58Z")
[sub]\*\*\*asinine[/sub] The opening panel had something along the lines of the following: Bystander #1: Doesn’t he know long, heavy gold chains went out with Disco? Bystander #1: _You_ tell him! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/52 "2002-07-24T15:44:45Z")
Oops. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/53 "2002-07-24T17:21:16Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*I can only remember two: A Crock of Sh_t Now (which I didn’t get since I was way too young to see the movie) \*\* My favorite quote from that parody: Willard: Its amazing! Just amazing! Chef: What’s that? THe lush tropical landscape? Willard: NO! We’re almost 2 hours into this movie and still not Marlon Brando! Where could he be! Chef: Maybe spending the millions he made for _not_ appearing in the last two hours of SuperMan. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/54 "2002-07-25T03:44:39Z")
The one I remember is from **Star Blecccchh: The Moving Picture** It is the very last frame- Kirk -“Spock, did we just witness the birth of a new life form?” Spock- “No Captain, we witnessed the birth of a brand new motion picture art form, where the special effects are ten times more interesting than the plot, characters and dialog” And I believe the picture shows a tear running down Spocks cheek. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/55 "2002-07-30T02:07:32Z")
This thread got me waxing nostalgic, so I bought the Mad CD set off eBay. I was amazed to see that in the Kung Fu parody I quoted before they actually said, “We’re gonna be passengers on the railroad the **CHINK** builds!”. When Kane complains about that the boss says, “Ok, we’ll call you **Mr. Chink** ”. Ah for the days when a kid’s magazine could be so politically incorrect… ---
**Author:** ![SteverinoAlaReno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SteverinoAlaReno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteverinoAlaReno)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2002, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/56 "2002-08-01T01:47:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \* > \*\*THE ECCHORIST - The mother is talking to a panel of doctors about what could be wrong with her daughter, and they all make nonsense speculations. One says, “Sounds like Kropotnik’s Disease to me.” She asks “What’s Kropotnik’s Disease?” He replies “How should I know? Ask Kropotnik!” > > The next guy says “You can ask me. I’m Kropotnik.” She says, “OK, what’s Kropotnik’s disease?” He says “Don’t ask.” \*\* From the same parody, and virtually the same scene… The doctor explains that they’re examining the girl with virtually every kind of device they have, because they don’t understand her condition ## Mother: Won’t all those X-Rays give her cancer? Doctor: Yes, but THAT we understand! From “The Ring and I” (a musical parody of all the LOTR movies) (To the tune of “Sounds of Silence”) I am Gollem, that is me And I am hideous to see And also mean a-and tricky In fact, I’m Middle Earth’s Number One sicky And the rottenness that was planted in my brain Will remain Till I gets back my precious. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/57 "2002-08-02T14:18:21Z")
_“…and they had drawn link sausages in the place of dog turds.”_ No, what’s really sick is that I haven’t had a subscription since I was 11, don’t have any issues here, don’t have any of the books or the CDs (though I really want them) but I STILL remember that that art was by Al Jaffe. AAAAIEEEEE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/58 "2002-08-02T14:38:12Z")
Hamadrya, [Ed McMahon] You are correct sir! [/Ed McMahon] ---
**Author:** ![gsteinma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/77aa72/32.png) [@gsteinma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gsteinma)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/59 "2002-08-02T16:46:50Z")
I remember this from the parody of the TV show, “Mission Rediculous” Man # 1 “we can cut up this tape of the Professor’s speach, rearrange the words, and replay it at the crucial moment to make it sound like the professor’s still alive” Proffesor (on tape): “Hello…girlz …It…issss… a brand nu…clear…day. Perfect…for goink…fission” Man # 1 “Now if you close your eyes, doesn’t it sound like the Professor’s still alive?” Man # 2 “only if I also close my ears!” All these years later I am still trying to figure out how to close my ears! ---
**Author:** ![gsteinma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/77aa72/32.png) [@gsteinma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gsteinma)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743/60 "2002-08-02T16:47:44Z")
I remember this from the parody of the TV show, “Mission Rediculous” Man # 1 “we can cut up this tape of the Professor’s speach, rearrange the words, and replay it at the crucial moment to make it sound like the Professor’s still alive” Professor (on tape): “Hello…girlz …It…issss… a brand nu…clear…day. Perfect…for goink…fission” Man # 1 “Now if you close your eyes, doesn’t it sound like the Professor’s still alive?” Man # 2 “only if I also close my ears!” All these years later I am still trying to figure out how to close my ears! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fondly-remembered-lines-from-mad-magazine-movie-spoofs/119743.md?page=4)