# "Fonzie's" '80s anti-paedo effort. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2007, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235 "2007-04-23T01:42:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/21 "2007-04-23T23:20:37Z")
Oh heck, that was weird. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/22 "2007-04-23T23:27:40Z")
forgive me if I’m slow on the uptake here, but this thing is a spoof isn’t it and/or has been edited/mashed a bit? ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/23 "2007-04-23T23:41:13Z")
Well, that was fairly horrifying. [The IMDb listing](http://imdb.com/title/tt0307516/) notes that Scooby-Doo and the Smurfs were also featured. Presumably Scrappy-Doo is touched inappropriately, which I can certainly get behind, but what’s the deal with the Smurfs? Did they even have children? I thought they reproduced by fission or something. IMDb recommendations are always a hoot: “If you enjoyed this title, our database also recommends \*\*Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf \*\*, and **Advanced Tie Dye Techniques: Making Shapes and Mandalas**.” It’s always a good idea to soften up your preschool audience’s mental barriers by introducing yourself first as a well-known fictional character, threatening to break their legs, and then introducing your sweater-wearing, Mr. Rogers-like alter ego. With luck, these children will not only be on gurard against sexual predators, they may actually never trust any human being ever again. Presumably this all seemed like a good idea to the actors and producers at the time, which gives some insight into how the daytime talk show phenomenon was warping our society into a constant state of panic even at that early date. No doubt there are also helpful videos out there which counsel children on how to recognize Satanic cults, hosted by the Groovie Goolies and Michael Gross from **Family Ties**. I am reminded of Henry Winkler’s guest appearance on the '80s acid-trip **The Great Space Coaster** , where he explained to Gariddle Gorilla in rather excessive detail just how his signature “thumb-up” gesture was related to the phrase “Sit on it.” As a youngster I had never really pondered what the “it” was that Fonzie always advised nerds to “sit on,” so my young mind was quite blown by the revelation. Indeed, an anus is a useful thing to have… ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/24 "2007-04-23T23:45:41Z")
I was really waiting for him to rhyme ‘cunt’ with ‘front’ and ‘blunt’. I feel let down. I guess my complete lack of maturity is shining through there. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/25 "2007-04-23T23:51:07Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Well, that was fairly horrifying. [The IMDb listing](http://imdb.com/title/tt0307516/) notes that Scooby-Doo and the Smurfs were also featured. Presumably Scrappy-Doo is touched inappropriately, which I can certainly get behind, but what’s the deal with the Smurfs? [/QUOTE] Yup. I have seen this video. It was long ago and my well–intentioned mother showed it to me. I was 10 or so. I explained that the video was for 5 year olds but watched it anyway for the unintentional humor. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/26 "2007-04-23T23:56:50Z")
My brain hurts. I’m dubbing ( with the audio off ) " The Best of Victor Borgia " while at the same time listening to a lovely wholesome ditty about anus. :eek: I didn’t know this existed but I can see why it was made, and why the producers thought they were doing a good thing with it. Now? My god. What wholesome teenage idol would be appropriate to teach young boys and girls the proper way to handle unwanted advances? Britany Spears? 😉 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/27 "2007-04-24T01:48:27Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] “Tweety?” Did Paramount have some sort of vendetta against Warner Bros. or something? [/QUOTE] [All will become clear.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/86045599@N00/54294987/) ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/28 "2007-04-24T01:50:57Z")
Anybody else knocking themselves out trying to decide whether the Chris Wallace in this video is the same as the Fox News Chris Wallace?? 'Cause I am. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/29 "2007-04-24T01:56:29Z")
[QUOTE=Jaochai] Where oh where oh where? I gotta see this. [/QUOTE] For copyright reasons, I won’t post a direct link. Google “strong kids safe kids”- Google Video it, even. (Since Google now owns YouTube, the first hit is the YouTube four-minute excerpt. Look for the one from “Param. Home Video.” that runs 44 minutes.) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/30 "2007-04-24T02:34:22Z")
Okay, I broke down and have been watching the full version. Thanks for that, it’s even stranger. Cut&Paste from e-mail to my SO (at work, still) > [@Larry Mudd](#): > > While I will eat, I will watch a bit more of the full version of that 80s sexual abuse film with all the nostalgic TV stars. I’ve wached about ten minutes so far, it’s really strange. The eighties were weeeeeeird. For example, there’s a very sensible bit directed at parents that lists a bunch of talking points about being an “askable” parent. Just text, with no narration, so it will go over the kids’ heads. Stuff like “It’s normal for children to play with their genitals,” and “Kids should know the basic ‘facts of life’ before they enter kindergarten.” At the end of that part, Pac-Man (the Saturday Morning Cartoon version) appears and eats all the words, and then “Fonzie” says “‘Askable,’ I’m cool with – it’s edible that I’m worried about.'” Ummmm… what? > > This is the cartoon Pac-Man: > [http://www.cartoon-secrets.com/Photos/Pac\_ManTV.jpg](http://www.cartoon-secrets.com/Photos/Pac_ManTV.jpg) Sez she: > [@](#): > > ah ah ah You are a GEEK 😃 Seriously, though. The Pac-Man thing is _so_ random (like so much else in the video,) and then Fonzie suggesting _edible_ parents is _très étrange_, in context. What the hell were they thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/31 "2007-04-24T02:40:24Z")
Sometimes I think those hi-speed connection folks are just whooshing us dial-uppers. They probably also have a secret forum that only they can see where they plan these things. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/32 "2007-04-24T02:43:46Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] Sometimes I think those hi-speed connection folks are just whooshing us dial-uppers. They probably also have a secret forum that only they can see where they plan these things. [/QUOTE] Sorry about that. I guess you won’t be happy when we do a thread on _Mr. T’s Be Somebody- Or Be Somebody’s Fool!_ These gold changes come from the Mandinka tribe! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/33 "2007-04-24T03:16:55Z")
[QUOTE=Aholibah] Anybody else knocking themselves out trying to decide whether the Chris Wallace in this video is the same as the Fox News Chris Wallace?? [/QUOTE] Something about his mannerisms and facial expressions remind me of [Marshall Applewhite (AKA “Do,”)](http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-ApplewhiteDo.jpg) leader of the elective castration (and UFO) cult “Heaven’s Gate.” _A penis… is something you don’t need… The penis… should be pulled out like a weed… All boys have a penis, but no matter what you’ve heard- You’re better off without it, it’s not really that absurd._ (I understand the mechanics of castration, it’s poetic license.) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/34 "2007-04-24T20:04:54Z")
[QUOTE=Aholibah] Anybody else knocking themselves out trying to decide whether the Chris Wallace in this video is the same as the Fox News Chris Wallace?? 'Cause I am. [/QUOTE] Is it to your horror or relief that [it apparently is the same guy?](http://imdb.com/name/nm0908567/) ---
**Author:** ![CeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/35 "2007-04-24T21:43:59Z")
I feel like making up songs about my goodies now. That was the strangest thing I’ve seen in…well, maybe EVER. Do we really need to mention to kids that their anus is useful in the same video that we tell them how to not let their weird uncle touch them where their bathing suit goes? And the rainbows…I spit green tea when I saw the word ding-dong. I’m going to look for everyone’s links to the full video. But I don’t know if I can take it all. Won’t it do something strange to my brain? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/36 "2007-04-24T23:10:04Z")
[QUOTE=CeilingWhacks] I feel like making up songs about my goodies now. That was the strangest thing I’ve seen in…well, maybe EVER. Do we really need to mention to kids that their anus is useful in the same video that we tell them how to not let their weird uncle touch them where their bathing suit goes? And the rainbows…I spit green tea when I saw the word ding-dong. I’m going to look for everyone’s links to the full video. **But I don’t know if I can take it all.** Won’t it do something strange to my brain? [/QUOTE] You know, I’m not sure how effective this is in getting someone to stop if they’re trying to get you to let your anus be more useful. They’ll just persist and pressure you more. A flat-out no is better. The short video is very strange indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/37 "2007-04-25T01:53:06Z")
[QUOTE=Abby\_Emma\_Sasha] [QUOTE=mobo85] I understand what he’s trying to say, but are men’s nipples ever referred to as “breasts”- other than mockingly if they are fat? [/QUOTE] Well, no. Nipples are nipples. Breasts are the mass of tissues that surround them. And yes, both men and women have breasts. [/QUOTE] Men can also get breast cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/38 "2007-04-25T13:14:40Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] I’m on dial up and can’t view. But if this is the video where they sing “No matter what you’ve heard, penis is the proper word.” I’ve seen it. Is there a link to the Honk? [/QUOTE] I have high speed access and I don’t even want to watch it. Still haven’t clicked it. I don’t want to feel disturbed by any of it! ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/39 "2007-04-25T16:00:52Z")
If you think that’s strange, look at this: Part 1) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7jVnrfoZD8](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7jVnrfoZD8) part 2) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcnQDYnGtS8](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcnQDYnGtS8) Part 3) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA07Tw4iEFw](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA07Tw4iEFw) ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235/40 "2007-04-26T19:31:35Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] A flat-out no is better. [/QUOTE] You know, if you’re a music student…I’m not sure if this makes the sense that you think it does. But I’m not really in to Fonzie, so what do I know? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fonzies-80s-anti-paedo-effort/401235.md?page=3)