# Food Fight! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764 "2002-07-19T05:45:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/1 "2002-07-19T05:45:24Z")
Awright, **Flamsterette-X** has decided to start a food fight with me. Like all good wars, this one will spill out into the open and have a lot of casualties. Hence, if you walk into this thread and don’t post, you’ll likely get hit by stray scrapple and other assorted pork parts. Your fault. Hey, incoming pie! ------=======[} ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/2 "2002-07-19T05:51:12Z")
mmmmmmmm…pie… I break out of my pie-induced reverie just in time to duck and avoid a facefull of merengue. But will you be quick enough to dodge this water balloon full of cottage cheese? ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/3 "2002-07-19T05:56:18Z")
Ummmmm… incoming R-shaped cake?.. I dunno… 😃 --------========R ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/4 "2002-07-19T06:32:24Z")
One thing before I post my volleys in war: I do believe you were the one who started it, **Res**. Remember? We were talking about stoning, then Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery,” then you decided to hit me with a virtual pie. Don’t blame it on little ol’ me. Sheesh. 😛 Anyways, who thinks they can handle a mixture of tomato rice, BBQ sauce, and mint chocolate chip ice cream? F\_X ---
**Author:** ![tritone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tritone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tritone)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/5 "2002-07-19T06:45:53Z")
Me, I’ll dodge all the other stuff and catch the mint-choc-chip icecream, **Flamsterette\_X** [minor hijack] Oh, and thanks for the birthday greeting! I was in Sydney, and hung over, at the time, so not able to receive it or respond. [/minor hijack] Ok, so just lemme go get that leftover risotto from my fridge… hang on a minute, that risotto was **good**! I ain’t gonna waste it throwing it at you lot. Sorry, but a little bit of raspberry yoghurt and half a bag of English Spinach is all I can manage at the moment. Not quite sure how to turn them into ASCII graphics, tho. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/6 "2002-07-19T07:03:09Z")
Mmmm, stray scrapple and other assorted pork parts make it mighty tempting not to post, **ResIpsaLoquitor**! Well, I think I’ll throw around some pretty boxes of delectable chocolates. ---
**Author:** ![Crepitus\_Fremitus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@Crepitus\_Fremitus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crepitus_Fremitus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/7 "2002-07-19T07:29:06Z")
_**Volly of ----------------- @ ----@ croissants!! ------------- @ —@ --@ Comin at cha! ---------------@ --@**_ ---
**Author:** ![Gopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gopher)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/8 "2002-07-19T07:39:03Z")
Dood! Stop wasting good food. I’m hungry. ::eats all the goodies flying everywhere:: ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/9 "2002-07-19T07:48:27Z")
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. That’s IT! _steps out of the shadows, wielding the Compressed-Air Over-and-Under Grape Cannon/Custard Tart Launcher of DOOM_ _poses dramatically_ Who wants some? _quickly falls under the force of half a dozen pies, three croissants, a water balloon full of cream cheese, a chunk of English Spinach (still frozen), and an assortment of peppermint creams_ ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/10 "2002-07-19T07:56:26Z")
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. That’s IT! _steps out of the shadows, wielding the Compressed-Air Over-and-Under Grape Cannon/Custard Tart Launcher of DOOM_ _poses dramatically_ Who wants some? _quickly falls under the force of half a dozen pies, three croissants, a water balloon full of cream cheese, a chunk of English Spinach (still frozen), and an assortment of peppermint creams_ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/11 "2002-07-19T09:48:41Z")
_Creeps up behind **DarkJudicator** and pours two large chocolate shakes upon his pointy head_ C-c-c-cold, innit? _As **DJ** spins ‘round to bring the full wrath of his CAOAUGC/CTL on little ol’ innocent me, I whips out my Fully Automatic Slice-n-Dice George Foreman Original Salad Shooter of Death_ Ba-aa-a-aa-aaa-aaaa-aa-a-aah! Back to the Shadows from whence you came, foul-smelling one! Back I say!! ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/12 "2002-07-19T13:29:10Z")
_reaches into back of refrigerator and pulls out remains of apple-mincemeat pie which has been there WAAAY too long. carefully positions himself just out of range of **Horseflesh** and **DarkJudicator** to await the outcome of their face-off_ ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/13 "2002-07-19T14:27:44Z")
/cream pies!/cream pies!/ get your cream pies here for the big food fight cream pies!/ cream pies for sale!/ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/14 "2002-07-19T15:19:59Z")
_Having wilted **DarkJudicator** beneath an onslaught of fresh lettuce and croutons, I scan the mayhem looking for another likely victim. Just above the sound of my boiling blood I hear a distant cry…_ “Cream pies! Cream pies for sale! Get yer…” _I adjust the setting of my Salad Shooter to Toss With A Vengeance and set the laser sights on the temple of the entrepreneurial (and oh so foolish) **Lyllyan** , trigger finger at the ready._ ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/15 "2002-07-19T15:30:37Z")
[Eve walks into the room with Lord and Lady Ferncliffe, raises her lorgnette and majestically says, “I should like you to make the acquainatance of . . .” and gets a banana cream pie right in the kisser] _Well!_ ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/16 "2002-07-19T17:16:04Z")
_graciously offers **Eve** the pie he has been holding and points out the direction from which the pie which struck her had originated_ Milady, if I may be of assistance? ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/17 "2002-07-19T17:37:13Z")
/cream pies!/get yer cr{smack}/ _Loads catapult with double chocolate cream pies, aims at **Horseflesh** and lets fly the pies of war. TM_ ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/18 "2002-07-19T19:17:09Z")
That does it…I’m gonna start slapping everyone with this 5-foot bass fish I caught. :::::WHAP!::::: Except for **Flamsterette**. In ironic-literary-punishment style, she’s getting beaned with week-old donuts that are basically LIKE rocks. ------=====O ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/19 "2002-07-19T21:26:40Z")
That’s it, **Res**! I’m bringing out what promises to be a fine dose of heavy artillery! :lets fly at everyone with balloons full of red bean soup, shark’s fin soup, crab and lobster parts, pigeon brains, and an assortment of puddings: Yoo-hoo, **Res**! Over here! :shoots him with a paintball gun filled with paint, water, coffee, tea, butter, milk, haggis, pork intestines, soup, napkin bits, veggie bits, salt, and blood: F\_X ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/20 "2002-07-19T21:42:19Z")
_entering holodeck_ Computer, this is not the program I asked for. I specifically said– _gets nailed with chocolate pudding, double chocolate cream pies, Thousand Island dressing and a five-foot bass_ Never mind, computer. I wanna play too! _sets phaser on whipped cream_ Computer, one Darvokian cheesecake! - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[} [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764.md?page=2)