# Food Fight! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764 "2002-07-19T05:45:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/21 "2002-07-20T00:27:57Z")
_opens cooler filled with homemade Wendy’s chili-cheese-fries and, using an oversized ladle, begins hurling handfulls of the mixture at all combatants_ -----------======[sup]#[/sup]#[sub]#[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/22 "2002-07-20T00:33:28Z")
One word: coprophagy. Anyone want to mess with me? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/23 "2002-07-20T00:49:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*One word: coprophagy. Anyone want to mess with me? \*\* Looks like you’ve already “messed” yourself. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! _Whips out a double-barrel bottle of seltzer, shakes vigorously for effect, then strikes a dramatic pose._ Hrmmmmm… looks like you could use a bath. Hold still. _catches double chocolate cream pie with a practiced snap of his mandibles_ \ Mmmmm, keep 'em coming **Lyllyan**. Let’s get some variety in there. ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/24 "2002-07-20T05:16:01Z")
Arrrgghh! _Flings bowls of nice buttery grits, launches 3 dozen eggs from catapult, and sprays the Jell-O jigglers squares with Pam cooking spray._ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/25 "2002-07-20T05:37:35Z")
_Using my Matrix-like reaction times and flexibilty, I manage to dodge all food missles hurled at me. However, one lone egg arches lazily through the air and lands in my eye just as I look up._ Okay, that’s it! Somebody’s gonna get a herring shoved where the sun don’t shine. _drops laundry bag and rilfes through its contents, producing fried tarantulas, escargot, grubs and two deadly puffer fish. I place the tasty hors d’oeuvres into the fish and tie small chains to their tails and whirl them above my head._ Hey **Flam**! Dinner’s on me! \ No, I guess dinner’s on you after all. Hmmm, lessee. Where’s all the chili cheese fries coming from? Oh, _there_ you are. \ ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/26 "2002-07-20T06:28:22Z")
I would like to move that we should not use this food for violence. Lets pack it into crate and ship it off to hungry needy children. Nah… _throws pies and canned mushrooms in random directions_ ---
**Author:** ![Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/27 "2002-07-20T06:37:56Z")
_ducks the seltzer spray but catches the flying Jell-O full in the face_ _flings slices of peach, nectarine and melon into the fray, along with some strange-tasting shepherd’s pie and chicken divan, followed by several cans of sardines (some in the can, some out)_ **BANZAI!!** ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/28 "2002-07-20T06:46:23Z")
Throws buckets of tripe and slurry around the room. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/29 "2002-07-20T07:15:35Z")
_dodges **Horseflesh** ’s flying hors d’oeuvres_ Nyaah…nyaah; missed! _shifts into LURKER mode and invisibly drifts through the shadows, abandoning the now-empty cooler and drawing his secret weapon, the dreaded Mini-Meatballer[sup]TM[/sup]. tiny meatballs fly about the room, seemingly from nowhere._ ``` ----------* -------------* ---------------* ``` ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/30 "2002-07-21T02:38:52Z")
Well, you’ve all been quiet… :::::opens up a fire hydrant of clam chowder:::: ---
**Author:** ![funfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/96bed5/32.png) [@funfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funfan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/31 "2002-07-21T07:48:53Z")
Can’t be here…I’m on the Atkin’s ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/32 "2002-07-21T12:07:16Z")
All right!! 😃 ::Swoops in loaded to the gills with cream puffs and chocolate truffles left over from the Rebel Doper Alliance and begins firing at all and sundry:: CJ ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/33 "2002-07-21T14:37:59Z")
_continues lurking through the shadows pelting all and sundry with mini-meatballs. considers sparing **cjhoworth** after he manages to catch some of the chocolate truffles_ ---
**Author:** ![tritone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tritone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tritone)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/34 "2002-07-21T14:39:30Z")
Ooooo boy, I knew it was a mistake coming back in here! [picture tritone attempting to dodge the clam chowder (yuk!), but simultaneously catch the chocolate truffles] Ok, so now I’d better go get that leftover tomato soup… and I know I’ve got a water pistol somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/35 "2002-07-21T15:51:11Z")
woohoo! _fills BB gun with nerds and starts firing away_ i’ll keep my mouth open too - no sense wasting good food! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/36 "2002-07-21T18:30:52Z")
_struts by twirling umbrella overhead and singing "I’m siiiiinnngin’ in the clams, just siiinnngin’ in the clams, what a glor… and catches a high speed meatball in the right asscheek_ What the? I see you trying to hide in the shadows, **Lurk**. No, really, wait right there. _struts over to laundry bag and folds it down to reveal a 50 gal. aquarium._ OK, I believe the Meatball Meister ordered a JELLYFISH YARMULKE! _slaps down jellyfish on **Lurk** ’s skull and smooths it out_ Now let that settle for at least an hour before going anywhere. _Creeps up behind **cj** and releases Mr. Octopus into her jumpsuit_ No don’t squirm, that’ll just make him madder. When you get home make sure you throw him right into the pot. Otherwise he’ll be all rubbery when he’s on your plate. _…a glorious time, I’m hap-hap-happy again, just singin’, just singin’…in the clams. Do-do-bee do-bee do-do-do-bee-doobie…__Deftly catches truffle and pops it into mouth_ ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/37 "2002-07-21T19:32:21Z")
:Hits **Horseflesh** squarely with streams from _2_ Super Soakers filled with chocolate syrup then removes octopus from jumpsuit.: Mmmm! Sashimi! :Tosses octopus at **Res** and retrieves Super Soakers: ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/38 "2002-07-21T23:21:44Z")
\*\*Applauds **Horseflesh** s beautifull lob and hands out the BBQ Beef from 3 weeks ago.Manages to gust dodge the last incoming minimeatball in time to get sideswiped by the latest cream pie. \*\* “MMMMMMMM…Chocolate!” \*\* Throws wilted carrots like shirkens.Miraculously nailing **Agentfroot** in his froot ,whilst handing \*\* Tri \*\* some leftover vinagrette. \*\* \*\* At last lunges for the door. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/39 "2002-07-22T01:32:42Z")
Somebody get **leechbabe** in here. I got a pile of boobie-shaped chocolates to launch in her direction… ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/40 "2002-07-22T01:42:45Z")
_Graciously accepts BBQ ribs from **TelcontarStorm** and pulls them apart creating a makeshift pair of nunchucks from two ribs attached by gristle_ Thank you, **Tel**. Now if I may be so bold as to do my Jackie Chan impersonation… **WaaaaAAAAA!!! Hiiiii-YAAAAAAH!!!** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764.md?page=3)