# Food Fight! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764 "2002-07-19T05:45:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/61 "2002-07-23T05:28:16Z")
_A voice drifts out of the shadows_ Oh **Horsie**!!! _A blizzard of mini-meatballs all but buries the **Sheepish One**. A blurred form dashes from the shadows and slaps him across the face with a beef tongue before disappearing again_ It’s Barbeque Time!!! _A flood of barbeque sauce blasts from the shadows, followed closely by a large dollop of mint sauce._ ::The final notes of _Ride of the Valkeries_ fade out, followed by an ominous silence:: HI HO SILVER!!! ::The _William Tell Overture_ blasts from the jukebox:: \*A masked figure, armed with twin pepperonis, drops from the sky and pummels the **Crouching Kitten** briefly before once more assuming his guise as the **Hidden Bullthrower**. ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/62 "2002-07-23T14:02:54Z")
\*\* Rummages through the kitchen, mumbling madly to herself,‘Where the hell is that salad fork?’ Finding it she ducks behind the overturned Kitchen table. Hefting a gone green package of ham slices she stands…\*\* **TREBUCHET!** \*\* She launches the rancid pork product, which simultanously erupts hitting both \*\* Lurk and Horse\*\* OOPs. I 'm off to find **Leech**. I believe she needs help with those nipples ---
**Author:** ![tritone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tritone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tritone)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/63 "2002-07-23T14:38:07Z")
Can someone lend me a straw? I gotta drink all the chocmilk out of my bellybutton… ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/64 "2002-07-24T16:54:37Z")
\*\* She wanders off a rotten Yoohoo in each hand \*\* Where’s them nipples? CHOCOLATE! I’m defending these. I got the Yoohoo right here. Don’t make me have to use it! **Leech** How’s them cherios holding up? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/65 "2002-07-24T18:01:00Z")
_A small shower of mini-meatballs strikes **TelcontarStorm** in the back of the head._ Take that, Ham-girl! ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/66 "2002-07-24T19:11:15Z")
Yeah, are those Frosted Cheerios, or the Honey Nut Cheerios? As for music, we should try the piece from the barfight scene in _The Trouble with Tribbles!_ ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/67 "2002-07-25T00:41:57Z")
Wow you lot get types of cheerios? All I got down here in Oz is cheese flavour - but they be deadly. Adding to the fight some stone hard stale scones ----- O O O O O Jam and cream with those anyone? ::launches a barage of whipped cream in the direction of **TelcontarStorm** and **CaptMurdock** :: ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/68 "2002-07-25T20:13:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doubting Robert \* > \*\*Oh, neat, a quadruple post! Must be what happens when you get clam chowder in your keyboard! > > (Opens umbrella and runs from the room.) \*\* Don’t tell me I quadruple-posted **again**. :rolleyes: I _could_ blame it on the Internet being slow, but I wasn’t at my brother’s when I posted that, so… oh, what the heck. I’ll blame it on the Internet being slow anyways. 😉 All the music suggested here sounds suitably dramatic. Of course, I wouldn’t really know too much about the songs in general. It’s too bad my brother the music source is out of town; otherwise, I’d call him now and bug him about it. Just had to bump this back up, since I saw a particularly apropos ad in one of emails this morning: > [@](#): > > \*\*\* FOODFIGHT!!! \*\*\* > > Join the Internet’s first online virtual foodfight. Splat your friends in the kisser with “Grandma’s Apple Pie”, or (gulp) the dreaded “Yesterday’s Corn Chowder”! > > [Throw Some Food Today](http://www.funnymail.com/cgi/rd.cgi?u=vff3) **leechbabe** , cheese-flavored Cheerios? Hmm. never tried those before. Now, as to this food fight, I’m glad it’s backed with an apparopriate soundtrack. Though might I suggest Cibo Matto’s first album? (I forget what it’s called, but the band was complaining about their being stereotyped because all the songs on that album seemed to be about food, when they really were not) Hmm… let’s see. What have I got in my fridge and cupboard? :mixes the following ingredients into a huge slurry and lets fly with a huge **BANZAI!!!** : [ul] [li]really old salsa (not quite past its expiration date)[/li][li]various types of yogurt (coffee and cream, strawberries and cream, peach, blueberry, chocolate, caramel, mocha, lemon, kiwi, strawberry banana, raspberry, orange, lemon chiffon, plain, vanilla, etc.)[/li][li]mushroom tea (watch out for that huge fungus!)[/li][li]cookie mix[/li][li]various types of pasta, both cooked and uncooked[/li][li]Chinese pastries[/li][li]various other Asian foods[/li][li]ice cream puffs[/li][li]curry[/li][li]hot and sour soup[/li][/ul] F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/69 "2002-07-25T21:49:22Z")
:Wanders back to food fight after consulting an old, arcane Scottish cookbook unearthed at a fleamarket: Hmmm, the truffles have all vanished, so it looks like I’ll have to unleash my secret weapon! :Reaches under her skirt and pulls out \*\* The Haggis Of DOOM!!\*\*: Bwuhahahahaha!!! ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/70 "2002-07-26T00:53:24Z")
\*\*Knocked back to sences by the meatballs. \*\* \*\*Lurk! Ya Basty! \*\* I Warned ya! \*\* Vigorusly shakes the curdled Yoohoo, and points twad Lurk and opens. Turns head and holds nose. \*\* TAKE THAT!😛 \*\* Quickly pockets the remaing decent chocolate nipplies., before searching franticly for **Flamers’** lump of fungus.Shoulders the sald fork and loads.Aims for Lurk \*\* 16 Incoming HOT SAUCE! \*\* ducks ferociously \*\* ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764/71 "2002-07-26T04:31:24Z")
_After barely avoiding the spray of curdled Yoohoo, he whips out his Yard-o-Beef and swings furiously at the incoming hot sauce, scattering it about the room. Setting up a portable catapult, he loads it with a large pot and aims it at **TelcontarStorm** _ How about a little CHILI? _fires the catapult, then collapses it and tucks it back into his Bag of Holding_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/119764.md?page=3)