# Food Fight!!!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 21, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139 "2000-03-21T23:40:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/21 "2000-03-22T16:10:00Z")

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Green Bean launches herself at SwimmingRiddles 'cause she is mad that she brought Koogle into this food fight. Barf-o-rific!

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/22 "2000-03-22T16:22:00Z")

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HEY! Can anyone join in here?? \<ducking suddenly to avoid the guacamole someone threw her way\> hehehehe! missed me, nanner, nanner, nanner! 😛  
\<throws her stash of gooey, jello pudding at Demo\> THAT’s for laughing at me on ICQ! 😉

\<Slipping suddenly on the gooey mess on the floor, purplebear plops down on her tuckus\> :o Darn it!

* * *

You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life.  
L.L.

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**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/23 "2000-03-22T16:25:00Z")

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Nanner nanner nanner? Everyone KNOWS it’s “neeener neeener neeener.”

::throws the now-violently ill Green Bean at purplebear::

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**Author:** ![BrainWeasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@BrainWeasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainWeasel)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/24 "2000-03-22T16:50:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Holiday-wrapped six-foot sub-sandwich swordfights rule!

* * *

-BrainWeasel

Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage  
[http://brainweasel.home.att.net](http://brainweasel.home.att.net)

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**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/25 "2000-03-22T16:54:00Z")

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Your Quadell waltzes through the room, oblivoius to the goings-on, while food whizzes past in all directions. Amazingly, he is not hit.

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/26 "2000-03-22T16:56:00Z")

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Green Bean vomits Koogle onto Quadell’s shoes.

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**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/27 "2000-03-22T17:20:00Z")

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Myron, the wannabee, steals in with the Sledge-O-Matic.

* * *

Imbibo, ergo sum.

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**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/28 "2000-03-22T17:30:00Z")

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Saxface launches a banana cream pie at Alphagene, who ducks. In walks Eve, who gets it right in the kisser.

Gazes through pie-covered lorgnette: “WELL!”

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**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/29 "2000-03-23T06:05:00Z")

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Yo idiotboy – you heard what I told Demo about those cans!

::: opens cans of Spam and starts shoving the meat product up idiotboy’s nose :::

Hey Fromage – you may not be a cheesehead, but you are a MEATHEAD!

::: throws some of the newly freed spiced ham product at fromage’s head :::

Yo Green Bean – Want some Spam to go with that Koogle

::: flings more of the pink contents of those little pink cans at Bean :::  
Hey Eve – look over there ::: pointing up ::

::: pitches Spam at the distracted SwimmingRiddles (gets em every time) :::

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**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/30 "2000-03-23T06:13:00Z")

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Spam! Damn.

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/31 "2000-03-23T06:22:00Z")

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Vestal sidles into the room, finds a corner, and unlimbers his slingshot.

“heheheh…olives!” he’s heard to mutter as he draws bead on Purplebear and hits her right between the…

Now, where’s Falcon…

* * *

VB

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/32 "2000-03-23T06:54:00Z")

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\< ducking out of the way of Green Bean, purplebear gets up from the floor just as VB launches his attack\>  
HEY! That hurts! Watch it, VB, just because I wore a lowcut blouse today, doesn’t mean you need to attack me like that!!  
\<pulling mushy olives out of her top, pbear tries to get out of the line of fire, again\>

hehehehehe! Take THAT! VB\<pelting him with strawberries\> and THAT! Demo \< pelting some strawberries in his direction.

Now, who’s next?? hehehehe!\<looking around to see who’s still standing up\>

* * *

You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life.  
L.L.

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**Author:** ![AzRaek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/azraek/32/16739_2.png) [@AzRaek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzRaek)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/33 "2000-03-22T19:14:00Z")

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Saunters in with a Salad Shooter, which has been fitted with a gas engine…  
Fires it up like a chainsaw…  
Pulls cucumbers, carrots and from her quiver…  
Hoses the room with salad fixings, not caring who gets beaned

* * *

I mis-wasted my youth.

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**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/34 "2000-03-22T19:19:00Z")

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:: removes spam from nose ::

Ok, now that is just **foul**!

:: starts hurling bologna slices across the room ::

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**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/35 "2000-03-22T19:24:00Z")

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:::belatedly realizes that SwimmingRiddles has thrown Koogle at her::

Hey, this stuff doesn’t taste like I remember it…

* * *

Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa…

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**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/36 "2000-03-22T19:25:00Z")

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Hey, look what I brought. Silly Pate!

:::DD starts bouncing the elastic hor d’oeuvre all around the room:::

Hey, Demo, watch out, cover your…ooohhhhhhh. Sorry about that, dude. Here, I’ll call a proctologist right away. Maybe he can remove it.

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**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/37 "2000-03-22T20:30:00Z")

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Steals AzRaek’s salad shooter, fills it up with canned Pork brains and spryas the room. Odieman follows this disgusting salvo by launching a tub of spaghetti sauce onto the floor

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**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/38 "2000-03-22T20:32:00Z")

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Uhh, he also sprays the crowd.

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**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/39 "2000-03-22T20:33:00Z")

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::while no one was looking, SwimmingRiddles has snuck out of the room, and went to the local Walmart. She returns a 1/2 hour later with her arms full.::

PLASTIC PONCHOS! Consider them armor for your food fight, people! $5 a poncho!

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**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-fight/15139/40 "2000-03-22T21:30:00Z")

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Pssst, Swimming. You may not want to mention to aha that you got the ponchos at the [\*&%# Walmart](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000829.html).

Anyway, I’ll take a poncho.

::: picking up a slice of bologna, scooping up some spagetti sauce with it, and flinging it at purplebear :::

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