# Food Items that make no sense to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924 "2002-05-02T20:23:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/1 "2002-05-02T20:23:42Z")
I could come up with more examples, but the one I can’t grok on just now is **Fat-Free Half and Half**. What? Huh? How? But isn’t that-- I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/2 "2002-05-02T20:43:16Z")
I try to avoid fat-free foods on general principle, god only knows what they’re throwing in there to get the mess to hold together if there’s no actual fat/lard/grease etc. Ew. For me, it’s not so much a certain food as a style of food that makes me want to scratch my head and go “huh?”. That silly, pretentious, unnecessarily artsy-fartsy ‘two squirts of unidentifiable sauce topped with a sliver of meat and two baby carrots’ style. I hate it. Give me food, real food, and keep your masterpieces to yourself! ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/3 "2002-05-02T21:15:59Z")
That newfangled colored ketchup Heinz put out a few months ago. \*Purple[/i} ketchup?!? _Green_?!? :eek: I’m all for making some food fun for kids to eat, but really… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/4 "2002-05-02T21:18:47Z")
Somebody here mentioned that they were coming out with individually wrapped peanut butter slices, just like cheese. Spank your granny if that’s not the silliest thing you’ve ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/5 "2002-05-02T21:35:52Z")
One word: Pour-a-Quiche. Looks like puke. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/6 "2002-05-02T21:54:26Z")
I’ve always been kind of weirded out by “non-dairy creamer”. Kind of along the same lines as the fat-free half & half. How can it be “cream” if it’s “non-dairy”? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/7 "2002-05-03T00:00:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kiz \* > \*\*That newfangled colored ketchup Heinz put out a few months ago. \*Purple[/i} ketchup?!? _Green_?!? :eek: > > I’m all for making some food fun for kids to eat, but really… \*\* Thats not all. Since the grandkids have moved in, besides the green and purple ketchup, we also have pink Parkay margarine and blue raspberry jelly. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/8 "2002-05-03T02:41:15Z")
Yogurt. Umm, folks. This is spoiled milk. Doesn’t the sour taste clue you in? Hot dogs. Everybody knows what’s in them but why you guys eat them anyway is a mystery. Ribs. There is no there (meat) there. Sauce, bone and gristle are not food. Ditto Buffalo wings. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/9 "2002-05-03T08:19:29Z")
My husband bought green ketchup once. I absolutely cannot stand to look at the stuff. Sure, it tastes just like ketchup is supposed to taste, but even closing my eyes, I can’t convince myself to eat it. Green food should never come from squirt bottles. And no, we don’t have kids. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/10 "2002-05-03T09:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ftg \* > \*\*Yogurt. Umm, folks. This is spoiled milk. Doesn’t the sour taste clue you in? > Hot dogs. Everybody knows what’s in them but why you guys eat them anyway is a mystery. > Ribs. There is no there (meat) there. Sauce, bone and gristle are not food. Ditto Buffalo wings. \*\* Those are some of my faves…😃 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/11 "2002-05-03T09:45:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Yogurt. Umm, folks. This is spoiled milk. Similarly, wine… nothing but rotting grapes. > [@](#): > > Hot dogs. Everybody knows what’s in them but why you guys eat them anyway is a mystery. I likes my rubber-and-hoof-on-a-bun, thank you very much. Me? I’m just puzzled why anybody would pay more than a buck for ANY food item. Yeah, I’m low-class… but at least I can get a satisfying dinner for two dollars and fourteen cents. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/12 "2002-05-03T10:31:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ftg \* > \*\*Yogurt. Umm, folks. This is spoiled milk. Doesn’t the sour taste clue you in? > Hot dogs. Everybody knows what’s in them but why you guys eat them anyway is a mystery. > Ribs. There is no there (meat) there. Sauce, bone and gristle are not food. Ditto Buffalo wings. \*\* Oh my, you’ve dissed all my favorite pig-out foods! There is meat on ribs. If there’s no meat on your wings, then you’re just getting really crappy wings, my friend. Buffalo wings should be fairly meaty. (Although half the fun is the skin, anyway.) And with your opinion on yogurt, I’m scared to hear what you think of bleu cheeses. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/13 "2002-05-03T10:38:49Z")
Oh, per the OP: **Margarine** - I will never understand this **Goober Grape/Strawberry** - Peanut butter & jelly ain’t rocket science. Have we really become this lazy that we’d resort to second-rate peanut butter swirled with second-rate jelly? **Wonder bread** - except _maybe_ for toast, I will never understand the appeal of this “bread.” **Processed cheese** - Cheese for people who hate cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/14 "2002-05-03T13:19:03Z")
Being always curious for new and exotic tastes, I headed to my local asian grocery and picked up some snacks. Now usually I’m pleasantly surprised but the other day I got… **SALTED PLUM SNACKS** Okay, first of all they had **38%** of the daily recommended salt allowance. Secondly they were a disturbing _ORANGE_ colour which should have clued me in right there but I thought, ‘okay, I’ve eaten weirder stuff and it has been pretty good.’ After all, five years ago I wouldn’t have touched lamb and apricots and now I love it. So, I get out to the parking lot, open the bag… no nasty smells… just salt and plum. I think, “I like salt. I like plums. I will like plums with salt on them.” So, I pop one in my mouth and start munching. BIG mistake. They don’t PIT the plums before they dry them. So, my tooth is aching from biting into the probably fossilized pit. Just when I’m getting over the pain, the taste hits me. This is absolutely the saltiest food in the entire universe and I don’t mean like when you put too much salt in the soup, I mean that this is the mother of all salts… this is concentrate of the salt you put on the sidewalk in the winter distilled and added to a giant salt lick compressed into a tiny little orange blobby thing… with a hint of prune. Now I have great respect for the Japanese. I love kabuki theatre, am always up for Sushi, I am a proud owner of a Honda Civic… but how the hell they can eat this is beyond me. I think it must be what the Shogun used to use to torture his prisoners into talking! Anyway, the next week I tried Pocky for the first time. It’s great. Stick with the Pocky. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/15 "2002-05-03T13:22:59Z")
All of the various “loafs” at the deli counter. I’m sorry, but that ain’t proper food (and yes, I adore hot dogs and I do get the irony here). ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/16 "2002-05-03T13:56:56Z")
Complaining about the salt level in a product with “salt” in it’s name is perhaps a little misguided. ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/17 "2002-05-03T14:07:46Z")
Look… I love saltines but they don’t have **38%** of the daily recommended salt requirement! ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/18 "2002-05-03T15:04:45Z")
I once saw chocolate spaghetti at a health food store of all places. That’s some serious chocoholism. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/19 "2002-05-03T15:06:08Z")
Olive loaf \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/20 "2002-05-03T15:11:52Z")
I love colored ketchup and I’m almost 30. I like having control over the color of my food. I can’t wait for blue to come out. Anything with testicles in it. I cannot fathom what goes through the minds of people who eat stuff like that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924.md?page=2)