# Food Items that make no sense to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924 "2002-05-02T20:23:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/101 "2002-05-07T00:53:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arken \* > \*\*Maybe my taste buds don’t work, but I don’t taste the ‘twist’ in Pepsi Twist. It tastes EXACTLY like regular Pepsi to me. I didn’t get it. \*\* Ewww, it DOES NOT taste exactly like regular Pepsi, not unless you think regular Pepsi tastes like someone poured Lemon Pledge into it. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/102 "2002-05-07T00:56:55Z")
**zenith:** > [@](#): > > _I do find kidneys nasty, though; no matter how they’re cooked._ **everton:** > [@](#): > > _IMHO, if you haven’t enjoyed liver or kidneys you haven’t had them cooked properly, although I hated them as a kid._ Correct way to cook kidneys: Boil the piss out of them. [cue rimshot] ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/103 "2002-05-07T08:13:48Z")
I’ll vote in for Margarine. Blurg. Short of cooking _some_ cookies, there is no need in my life for Margarine. Also I’ll add my vote for that orange spray caulking they call Cheese in a Can. Nasty stuff that. How about those “Pizza Bites” things in the frozen food section. It’s not pizza, it doesn’t look like pizza, it hardly tastes like pizza, yet they call them Pizza Bites. Huh? Has cooking and cutting up a frozen pizza become so hard for people there is a need for these things? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/104 "2002-05-07T08:20:04Z")
Since no one else mentioned this that I read: **Chicken Fried Steak** What about the steak makes it chicken fried? The breading? No, people make pork chops in the same manner yet we don’t call it “Chicken Fried Pork Chops.” Is the chicken fried then magically turned into a slab of beef during cooking? It’s not a baffeling thing but why would you call it “Chicken Fried Steak.” People fry all kinds of stuff like that (hmmm, shrimp comes to mind as well.) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/105 "2002-05-07T13:42:51Z")
A) Thou shall not dis, nor even question “Chicken-Fried Steak”. Thou shall simply thank God for this, his bounty and goodness and have another slab, with sausage gravy and smashed 'taters. B) The grossesst of the gross: Orbitz soda. Clear colored fruit soda with little balls of jelly bean/bubblegum-like stuff floating in it (apparently the balls had the same specific gravity(?) as the soda so they floated with relativly even distribution). The stuff looked great, the soda tasted mediocre, but the fact was that you couldn’t drink the stuff becasue A)you’d choke to death on the BB sized pellets and B)Who wants gum/jelly beans in their soda? It was just a bizarre idea. Especially since they didn’t advertize what the BBs were. Somehow I’d gotten the idea that they were drops of flavored oil or something that wouldn’t mix with soda. A friend almost had to administer the heimlich when I took my first swallow of the stuff. Blech! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/106 "2002-05-07T13:50:20Z")
Celery. It’s just not _food_, dadgummit!!! Whoever thought of putting peanut butter on it was ill. I was at Fresh Choice over the weekend, and some psycho put in an otherwise delicious Waldorf salad. What’s up with _that?_ ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/107 "2002-05-07T14:33:05Z")
To re-address the OP, who thought of some of the crap we eat as “food”? Who was the first guy to try some of this stuff? How hungry or drunk does someone have to get to eat bulls’ nuts? **Ancient Wife to Ancient Husband at neighborhood BBQ:** Harry, we’re almost out of beef. I told you we should have butchered two! **AH:** Oh just fry up the left over parts. Who’ll know? They’re all loaded on mead. **AW:** But there’s only the brain left and the nuts and that ring around the asshole… **AH:** That’s “all beef”[sup]tm[/sup]! Grind it up! Make a pattie! **AW:** That won’t be enough. What else can I serve? **AH:** Um, how about these snails crawling all over the garden? Can you do something with them? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/108 "2002-05-07T15:20:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\*Celery. > > It’s just not _food_, dadgummit!!! Whoever thought of putting peanut butter on it was ill. > > I was at Fresh Choice over the weekend, and some psycho put in an otherwise delicious Waldorf salad. What’s up with _that?_ \*\* The only reason God invented celery was so we’d have a way to get the peanut butter from the jar to our mouth without using our fingers when all the spoons are dirty. You don’t eat it; you just lick the PB off and dip again. Obviously, this is for ‘personal’ jars of PB only; not ‘community’ or shared jars. And don’t get me started on the morons who put celery in Waldorf Salad. Or chicken salad. Or stuffing. Celery…blech. It’s so bitter-tasting. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/109 "2002-05-07T15:39:33Z")
My SO explained chicken-fried steak to me once. Isn’t it traditionally fried in the same grease that was used to fry chicken in? Or am I smoking chicken-fried crack? Being vegetarian, that’s a distinct possibility. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/110 "2002-05-07T17:24:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \* > \*\*My SO explained chicken-fried steak to me once. Isn’t it traditionally fried in the same grease that was used to fry chicken in? Or am I smoking chicken-fried crack? > > Being vegetarian, that’s a distinct possibility. > Daniel \*\* Nope. Chicken-fried steak is steak fried in the manner usually used for frying chicken. IE, battered and deep-fried. It has nothing to do with using the same grease to fry chicken in, it’s simply a cooking technique. You could make completely vegetarian chicken-fried tofu by breading and deep-frying tofu. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/111 "2002-05-07T19:13:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Athena \* > \*\*You could make completely vegetarian chicken-fried tofu by breading and deep-frying tofu. \*\* And even then it’d still be yukky old tofu. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/112 "2002-05-07T21:01:23Z")
Squid flakes, redux: On my bulletin board is an empty plastic pack of Triple-E brand ready-to-serve Squid Flakes. “Crisp and Tasty!” it says in one of those balloons that looks like a little explosion. It’s also got a very phallic-looking pic of a squid. Ingredients: squid, sugar, chili, salt, honey, and pure corn oil. ---
**Author:** ![greenlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@greenlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenlady)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/113 "2002-05-07T21:19:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BiblioCat \* > \*\*The only reason God invented celery was so we’d have a way to get the peanut butter from the jar to our mouth without using our fingers when all the spoons are dirty. > You don’t eat it; you just lick the PB off and dip again. > Obviously, this is for ‘personal’ jars of PB only; not ‘community’ or shared jars. > > And don’t get me started on the morons who put celery in Waldorf Salad. Or chicken salad. Or stuffing. > Celery…blech. It’s so bitter-tasting. \*\* I’ll add to the celery non-fans, yeah, that’s what I am. **Celery soda**??? I’ve never had it. Why would I want to? ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/114 "2002-05-07T21:41:39Z")
[Chicken in a can.](http://www.diedrichs.org/pictures/index.php/chickeninacan/) :eek: 😛 - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/115 "2002-05-08T00:56:26Z")
Chocolate soda. Chocolate is supposed to be thick, smooth and creamy; soda is supposed to be light and bubbly. What nut thought that they would go good together? ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/116 "2002-05-08T01:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Did anyone mention Bubble tea? The boyfriend took me out very excited one night for Bubble Tea. They had about a bazillion combinations you could make and NO recommendations for what was good or not. The first drink I had them make was awful. His was made with milk, which he insisted was a thousand times better, but was sickeningly (is that a word?) sweet to me. I can’t drink milk anyway, so it’s not like it mattered. I liked the tapioca pearls, and the second one I tried wasn’t that bad. I had them make it without any jelly, though. … I can’t even look at chicken fried steak without feeling my arteries start to clog up. I rarely eat beef anymore, anyway. Whoever mentioned eating just chili on a hot dog bun – I do this all the time. I like the kind with beans in it though. It’s more filling. Celery is nasty and pollutes anything you put it in with vile celery-flavour. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/117 "2002-05-08T05:36:32Z")
News from the Clamato Juice front: this stuff is still around, and my father has been enjoying it as an after-breakfast drink for years. Here’s what he does: he pours a big glass of Clamato, adds ice, lemon juice, and Tabasco sauce, and then drinks the stuff down. I am not kidding. His eating habits are reprehensible. He also actively enjoys tripe, which he claims is very good in soup. This is a man who will cook salmon with olive oil and that flavored meat-tenderizing powder (shandeh!) and has been known to microwave Velveeta cheese and gravy together “for dipping”. Growing up with him may be the real reason why I am a vegetarian. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/118 "2002-05-08T11:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BiblioCat \* > \*\*The only reason God invented celery was so we’d have a way to get the peanut butter from the jar to our mouth without using our fingers when all the spoons are dirty. > You don’t eat it; you just lick the PB off and dip again. > Obviously, this is for ‘personal’ jars of PB only; not ‘community’ or shared jars. > > And don’t get me started on the morons who put celery in Waldorf Salad. Or chicken salad. Or stuffing. > Celery…blech. It’s so bitter-tasting. \*\* Ummm…well you can blame the original “moron” who created the Waldorf salad. Apples, walnuts and celery _define_ the salad (you can also add lemon juice, raisins and sugar…Oh, and of course mayo.) In fact, the original only consisted of apples, celery and mayonaisse. You take out the celery, and you no longer have Waldorf Salad. If you don’t want celery in your Waldorf Salad, then don’t order Waldorf Salad, cuz it’s obviously not what you want. Celery is also one of the defining vegetables of Cajun cuisine (along with onions and peppers.) God praise celery! (pulykamell, who lives in a country where green celery is virtually non-existent) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/119 "2002-05-08T11:37:13Z")
One more thing, on the green ketchup and pink Parkay front. (The latter I hadn’t heard of 'til this thread.) Why do we need to make ketchup more “fun”? Are there really kids who despise eating ketchup? I’ve never seen a kid reluctant to put ketchup on their dogs or burgers. And if we have such a problem, is ketchup really something we want to encourage our kids to eat? Why not make, oh, vegetables more fun or something? As for pink margarine…huh? Dittos my points above. Are our kids so deficient in the nutrients provided by margarine that we have to liven it up for them? Since when do kids give a damn about margarine anyway? -pulykamell, whose kids will grow up eating plain ol’ delicious white unsalted butter. (preferably danish.) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924/120 "2002-05-08T12:44:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pulykamell \* > \*\*(pulykamell, who lives in a country where green celery is virtually non-existent) \*\* :eek: What other kind of celery _is_ there? Fenris [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-items-that-make-no-sense-to-you/106924.md?page=7)