# Food you won't order in a restaurant because your version is better **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 2, 2020, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393 "2020-02-02T18:24:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/81 "2020-02-06T16:35:37Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > But yes, pie. Most purchased pie is gross. My major problem with restaurant ‘‘pie’’ is that it’s seldom that. Usually it’s semi-pie ingredients mixed with something else, or a kind of cobbler concoction that only slightly resembles real pie. Good luck finding actual apple (or other) pie on a restaurant menu. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/82 "2020-02-06T16:49:45Z")
> [@MarvinKitFox](#): > > I kindly suggest that you never even consider travelling to Italy. I have been to Italy, and Sicily, and I most certainly had all kinds of pasta there. But where I live, apart from Olive Garden _\_ the only other sorta Italian place is a very mediocre family-owned joint where I once saw roaches marching across the salad bar - I’ll never know how good their spaghetti might be. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/83 "2020-02-06T17:11:44Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > [Bolding Mine] > > And it actually COULD be Prime even if its graded as choice. > > I took a BBQ class offered by my local JuCo and taught by a butcher who specialized in offering high end meat for retail use. My recollection of his lecture on grading - > > Most times beef is graded Top-Down based on the ORDERS that the grader is attempting to fill. > > As an example, if the grader has 100 Prime, 200 Choice and 300 Select to grade then he will inspect and grade sides of beef according to the quality of meat UNTIL he grades 200 Prime. He may already have graded a number of select and choice as he workes down the line. > At the point he has met the Prime quota he will set down the Prime stamp and grade remaining prime sides with Choice. > As soon as choice is filled he will grade all remaining sides as select regardless of the quality (assumption is that all sides are above Standard grade). > > This system can fool the retail shopper. Meat cannot be advertised as any grade other than it’s wholesale grade. So somebody buying steaks on sale at his local Piggley Wiggley might just luck out and get himself a choice or prime cut. He might mistakenly believe that the Select grade beef from PW is always going to be fantastic not knowing that it was luck not quality he experienced. That’s interesting. A few weeks ago I bought a choice steak from Kroger. After cooking it and taking a bite, I immediately thought this was actually a prime steak that got mislabeled (And I should know, my son and I eat prime steaks every friday. lol). I was wondering how that happened especially since this Kroger doesn’t even sell prime cuts. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/84 "2020-02-06T17:19:12Z")
My Eggplant Parmigiana is to die for! Restaurant versions are invariably disappointing. An exception is the Eggplant Parmigiana appetizer they have at Balagio’s Restaurant in Homewood. It’s the best I’ve ever eaten out. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/85 "2020-02-06T17:33:26Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > My Eggplant Parmigiana is to die for! Restaurant versions are invariably disappointing. An exception is the Eggplant Parmigiana appetizer they have at Balagio’s Restaurant in Homewood. It’s the best I’ve ever eaten out. Recipe and/or instructions please? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/86 "2020-02-06T17:39:05Z")
I thought of one that I rarely order out… but not for the reason you might think. Asparagus is something I rarely order out. Not because I’m any great shakes at preparing it, but because we grow our own, and freshly harvested asparagus is so much different than the stuff you get at stores and restaurants, that anything except spears I picked within the last day (usually within the last 15 minutes) is invariably disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/87 "2020-02-06T17:42:11Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > [Bolding Mine] > > And it actually COULD be Prime even if its graded as choice. > > I took a BBQ class offered by my local JuCo and taught by a butcher who specialized in offering high end meat for retail use. My recollection of his lecture on grading - > > Most times beef is graded Top-Down based on the ORDERS that the grader is attempting to fill. > > As an example, if the grader has 100 Prime, 200 Choice and 300 Select to grade then he will inspect and grade sides of beef according to the quality of meat UNTIL he grades 200 Prime. He may already have graded a number of select and choice as he workes down the line. > At the point he has met the Prime quota he will set down the Prime stamp and grade remaining prime sides with Choice. > As soon as choice is filled he will grade all remaining sides as select regardless of the quality (assumption is that all sides are above Standard grade). > > This system can fool the retail shopper. Meat cannot be advertised as any grade other than it’s wholesale grade. So somebody buying steaks on sale at his local Piggley Wiggley might just luck out and get himself a choice or prime cut. He might mistakenly believe that the Select grade beef from PW is always going to be fantastic not knowing that it was luck not quality he experienced. Doesn’t that occasionally work the other way too\>? If he’s got 100 prime, 200 choice and 300 select to fill, he’s going to find that, even if in an impartial judging they might come out 90 prime, 190 choice and 310 select? In other words, he might grade some sides as prime that are really choice, and some as choice that should probably be select? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/88 "2020-02-06T17:50:39Z")
Fuck, guys, don’t read this thread before lunch is all I’m sayin’. :google ‘patty melt near me’: ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/89 "2020-02-06T18:04:19Z")
I don’t think there is any food I won’t order out because I can do it better, but I’m very picky about a couple of things: a) barbecue, because I kick ass at smoking and make killer sauces, but there area couple of places I trust; and b) cocktails, I make great cocktails and if I have any doubt about the bar’s ability, I just have a beer. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/90 "2020-02-06T23:43:52Z")
Baked beans. I have yet to like anybody’s baked beans but my own. The standard American recipe is just not to my taste at all. I do them over night with thick tomato sauce spiced with my own ras-al-hanout. Sweet and beans should never go together!! (Unless you are making Chinese buns.) Most Mexican food, but that’s really just my weirdness. I am one of those cilantro/soap people, and I also don’t much like cumin. A small amount of cumin, if it’s toasted properly before use, is quite good. But that’s not how most restaurants use it. I also can’teat jalapenos or any stronger peppers. So really, it would just be ridiculous to go to a Mexican restaurant and try to order with those three restrictions. They’d end up bringing me a bowl of rice with melted cheese on top. Beef. Not because I cook it well but because it has to be well done, and most restaurant cooks are true @$$holes about that. They give me lousy cuts with the outside burnt and often the inside is still pink because they “refuse to ruin it.” I’ll just make my own, thanks. Soup, except pho, and only at certain places. Nobody else does soup right. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/91 "2020-02-06T23:59:26Z")
There is a butcher shop maybe two miles from my house where I can get Prime, Dry or Wet Aged, custom cut to any thickness I want and trimmed to my specifications. I have a wood pellet fired grill and a selection of several woods to choose from. I have a Weber propane grill that can get blistering hot to sear the steaks after cooking over the wood. I can make a damn good steak. BUT… that would never stop me from ordering a steak in a restaurant. I love steak so why not get it if it sounds good? The bonus is I don’t have to go to the butcher shop, the grocery, figure out the timing for my baked potato and my wife’s sweet potato, pick out and prepare another side dish, fire up two grills, pick out a bottle or two of wine, figure out how to coordinate cooking times for my steak and my wife’s salmon, prepare a salad, make a trip to the really good bakery to pick out a dessert, clean up, etc. Don’t get me wrong… there are times that I really love doing all of those things (other than the clean up), but after a busy day it is nice to go to a nice place and all I have to do is park and pull out my credit card at the end. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/92 "2020-02-07T05:10:24Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > how are all you people making steaks at home that taste better than restaurant steaks? Sous vide. Salt, pepper, fresh garlic. Rosemary maybe. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/93 "2020-02-07T18:13:03Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I don’t think there is any food I won’t order out because I can do it better, but I’m very picky about a couple of things: a) barbecue, because I kick ass at smoking… This mostly covers my ordering out rules. Brisket? Mine matches the best I’ve ever had at a restaurant, and is far better than most. Smoked chicken? No restaurant has managed a bird better than mine. Ribs? Sigh.. I’m getting there, but have to admit I’m still beat by at least two in Texas: Cooper’s in Llano, and Hard-8 in Stephenville. I’m trying again today, btw. Smoker’s been going since 10am, and the ribs went on about an hour ago. New rub, so will try them tonight. Of course, I’ll need to visit the above restaurants soon for comparison. All in the interest of making the best ribs of course. It’s tough, continually sampling and testing but I persevere somehow. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/94 "2020-02-07T18:59:24Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > …Except for pancakes. I can’t get a decent pancake at home. That’s funny, because I never eat pancakes out. I’m not a huge pancake fan, and it’s just not worth eating mediocre pancakes. But my husband loves pancakes, and makes really superb pancakes. So I often eat his. > [@Jackmannii](#): > > My major problem with restaurant ‘‘pie’’ is that it’s seldom that. > > Usually it’s semi-pie ingredients mixed with something else, or a kind of cobbler concoction that only slightly resembles real pie. > > Good luck finding actual apple (or other) pie on a restaurant menu. I’m curious what, in your opinion, makes it not pie? I generally consider it pie if it has two crusts, possibly even if it just has a bottom crust and is otherwise pie-like. Commercial pie is often icky, in my experience, but I consider it pie. Just bad pie. > [@bump](#): > > …freshly harvested asparagus is so much different than the stuff you get at stores and restaurants, that anything except spears I picked within the last day (usually within the last 15 minutes) is invariably disappointing. Mmmm. I used to grow asparagus. Yeah, I often just picked it and ate it raw in the garden, standing next to the plant. That’s SO much better than store-bought asparagus. I like the store bought stuff too, though. ---
**Author:** ![Doyle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doyle/32/439_2.png) [@Doyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doyle)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/95 "2020-02-10T21:22:37Z")
Red Beans and Rice. Doesn’t mean I won’t order it, but chances are mine is much better. Same for Crawfish Étouffée. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393/96 "2020-02-10T23:59:26Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > how are all you people making steaks at home that taste better than restaurant steaks? In my case, it’s because I use grass fed and finished beef, which is way better IMO thank most restaurant beef. Otherwise there are certain breakfast combos I won’t order unless I don’t have much choice (hotel breakfast bar stuff). I tend to order seafood at higher-end restaurants because we don’t have much of that in the midwest that I can trust myself to not blow the cooking of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/food-you-wont-order-in-a-restaurant-because-your-version-is-better/847393.md?page=4)