# Foods the French just don't understand **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 23, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646 "2003-12-23T14:36:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hypnoboth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@hypnoboth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypnoboth)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/1 "2003-12-23T14:36:11Z")
All right, I took my wife to Paris, and I gained ten pounds. I admit the French rule in food. The kings and queens of cuisine. In almost everything. But there are some foods that they just do not understand. Some things that just escape the French food brain. There are some foods that the French simply do not understand. Like pizza. They have whole restaurants dedicated to pizza. But French pizza is an oxymoron. It is horrible. Putrid. The worst Pizza Hut monstrosity is better than the best attempt at pizza in Paris. Really. The crust (what they call crust) is thin, dry, and lackluster. Toppings are sparse. The cheese is good cheese (the French do understand cheese), but they choose the stuff that is too oily, and the oil collects in little puddles. And for some God unknown reason, they seem to love to crack an egg and put it in the middle of the pizza. Yes, an egg. Sunny side up. It stares at you. Like an eye. Zontar, the Pizza Thing from Venus. The French simply do not understand pizza. Anyone else have other foods that the French simply do not understand, in spite of general culinary excellence? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/2 "2003-12-23T17:16:13Z")
Well, I saw a restaurant chain there called “Indiana Tex-Mex”, an silly name if I ever heard one. I never ate there, but I looked at the menu outside - there was one item called “cassoulet du cowboy,”, IOW, chile. I’m betting ten euros that French chile bites the big jalapeno. Also, I had spaghetti and meat sauce once at an Italian place in Dijon, and it was quite good, but it was worlds apart from our version - just a totally different take on the dish altogether. In the same city, we went out to Japanese, and that REALLY sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/3 "2003-12-23T18:15:56Z")
If you want a real horror, try a hamburger in Europe that doesn’t come from an American franchise. I think they actually put ham in the goddamn thing or at least seasonings that don’t belong in anything but maybe meatloaf. They’re ghastly. ---
**Author:** ![Monkeypants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Monkeypants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monkeypants)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/4 "2003-12-23T18:23:48Z")
When I lived in France I didn’t have very much money, and I used to like to hollow out a baguette, slather the insides with Batman mustard, and stuff it full of hot dogs (usually saucisses de strasbourg). Usually gave French people heart attacks when they saw. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/5 "2003-12-23T18:28:32Z")
No, the true horror of hamburgers is one that I found in a little “burger cookbook” I got at dollar tree. It is called an “Aussie Buger” and starts off wrong by calling for the patty to be made with breadcrumbs mixed into the beef. Then things go really dreadfull awry. Once placed on the bun, it is to be topped with fried onions (okay), bacon (okay), lettuce, (okay), pineapple (not okay), sliced beet (wtf?), and a fried egg (get the fuck outta here!). One can then add condiments to taste. Mayonaise suggested. Nothing the French do can approach that crime against nature. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/6 "2003-12-23T19:08:01Z")
I think **gex gex** was talking about one of those in another thread, **Scumpup**. Called it a works burger or something. i think there was BBQ sauce on there, too. Absolutely hideous. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/7 "2003-12-23T19:13:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monkeypants \* > \*\*When I lived in France I didn’t have very much money, and I used to like to hollow out a baguette, slather the insides with Batman mustard, and stuff it full of hot dogs (usually saucisses de strasbourg). Usually gave French people heart attacks when they saw. \*\* As I recall, this is common practice in Marseilles. I remember having just such a concoction from a street vendor. But then, every Parisian knows the Marseillaise are cretins… ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/8 "2003-12-23T19:31:31Z")
My very limited understanding is that French people don’t get spicy food – that is, food with chiles in it. **burundi** and I dream about moving to the South of France and opening a burrito shop (we’ll start by calling them Mexican crepes, ease the French into it…). One of our friends who’s been to France a lot thinks it’s a great idea; my sister, who lived in France for a year, thinks the French aren’t inquisitive enough about foreign foods for us to be a success. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/9 "2003-12-23T19:41:25Z")
I actually had some pizza in Paris. It wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t like the pizza you described, **hypnoboth**. ---
**Author:** ![carimwc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@carimwc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carimwc)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/10 "2003-12-23T22:04:10Z")
I had some great pizza when I lived in France. There was a little place right around the corner that delivered. I’ve also had the pizza with an egg on it. That I don’t understand. There was a Tex-Mex place down the street from me. I never went in because it just didn’t seem right but they did sell Ben and Jerry’s. I actually had a really good hamburger thing from a park vendor in Montpelier. It was hamburger and french fries all together on a baguette. Add some ketchup and it was really yummy. It was called L’Americain. They don’t get Kraft Mac N Cheese though. I brought some in for my students to try and they just didn’t undestand the concept of powdered cheese. I think the French tastes run towards intense flavors rather than intense spice/heat. ---
**Author:** ![hypnoboth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@hypnoboth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypnoboth)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/11 "2003-12-23T22:13:59Z")
Anyone who got good pizza in France tried different places than I did — and I tried more than one! Believe me. It was a quest… Another thing the French don’t understand. Scrambled eggs. Oh, they understand omlets. They do the best omlets in the world. But ask for scrambled eggs, and especially watch them do scrambled eggs on a buffet, and it is really sad. This was one of the best hotels in France (I wasn’t paying). They put this out every morning. It was soup. With a really **hot** flame underneath. It would get too done on the bottom, and it would still be soup on top. It was like they expected the guests to cook the eggs as they went along. Pathetic. That was buffet scrambled eggs for breakfast. Ugh. (And I don’t blame them for not getting Kraft Mac N Cheese. Why go for powdered icky stuff when you can get real cheese, I mean **real** cheese, they way they can? The French understand cheese. They really do.) ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/12 "2003-12-23T22:22:04Z")
Well, at least in Paris, here’s the place to go for great pizza: Santa Lucia’s on the Rue des Cantonettes in the sixth arrondissement. The pasta also kicks butt. On their walls are several photographs of American celebrities eating pizza and smiling, probably directed there by cab drivers in the know. The celebs certainly projected an aura of relief at having found good pizza. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/13 "2003-12-23T23:48:35Z")
**hypnoboth** , I’d say _Europeans_ get cheese, in general. I mean, you’ve got gouda, Emmenthaler, limburger, provolone, romano, bleu, brie, gorgonzola, cheddar, feta, meunster… Americans, on the other hand, invented “American cheese”. More hideously, they invented “processed cheese food.” It is to weep… ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Daves)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/14 "2003-12-24T03:59:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hypnoboth \* > \*\*. > > Like pizza. > > They have whole restaurants dedicated to pizza. But French pizza is an oxymoron. It is horrible. Putrid. The worst Pizza Hut monstrosity is better than the best attempt at pizza in Paris. Really. > > The crust (what they call crust) is thin, dry, and lackluster. Toppings are sparse. The cheese is good cheese (the French do understand cheese), but they choose the stuff that is too oily, and the oil collects in little puddles. And for some God unknown reason, they seem to love to crack an egg and put it in the middle of the pizza. Yes, an egg. Sunny side up. It stares at you. Like an eye. Zontar, the Pizza Thing from Venus. > > \*\* Um, that sounds like a pretty good Italian pizza to me, _sans_ the egg. Pizzas with doughy bases are an American invention. I blame Pizza Hut. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/15 "2003-12-24T04:07:59Z")
Doughy bases were around long before Pizza Hut. And they are delicious that way. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/16 "2003-12-24T04:47:33Z")
When I went to Orleans last year to spend Christmas with my family, we had pizza the night I arrived and it was pretty darn good. Not spectacular, but easily on par with Pizza Hut. The name of the place could have used some work, though: **Frank’s Pizz**. That’s right, pizz. Peanut butter seems to be a universally misunderstood food outside the US. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/17 "2003-12-24T05:12:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The God of Muesli Bars \* > **Um, that sounds like a pretty good Italian pizza to me, _sans_ the egg.** I agree with **TGoMB**. That sounds like most of pizza in France (the south, at least) and Italy that I have ever tried. Personally, I think that when you eat in different places need to be open to various interpretations that local tastes impart. After all, why would you want to eat the way you do at home when you are on vaction to somewhere like France? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/18 "2003-12-24T05:15:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*After all, why would you want to eat the way you do at home when you are on vaction to somewhere like France? \*\* Ask all the American tourists who eat at McDonald’s in Paris. My boyfriend’s sister once insisted, on a trip they took to France, that they spend one of their limited days at Eurodisney. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/19 "2003-12-24T16:23:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Sublight The name of the place could have used some work, though: **Frank’s Pizz**. That’s right, pizz._ How odd. Maybe the ‘A’ fell off or something? DD ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646/20 "2003-12-24T17:04:26Z")
We saw several outlets of another American cuisine-based franchise, too – “Buffalo Grill”. I Googled them up, and have been checking out their website. It’s pretty funny, and one must remember that French kids are fascinated with cowboys and Indians, so I’m guessing this restaurant is for the kiddies. [The rootin’ tootin’ Buffalo Grill](http://www.buffalo-grill.fr/cartes.asp) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-the-french-just-dont-understand/220646.md?page=2)