# Foods you can't order with a straight face in the US. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153 "2010-06-22T19:22:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/1 "2010-06-22T19:22:22Z")
Years ago there was a dialogue in Shanghai Knights referencing an English dessert called Spotted Dick. There are a few others I’ve heard over the years like a juice named Fart. I was just going to start a thread to see what my fellow Dopers have come across but did a little research and found this [short reference](http://hubpages.com/hub/Funny_Food_Names_-_List_and_Pics) with such gems as. [ul] [li]JussiPussi dinner rolls[/li][li]Pee Cola[/li][li]Doobys Cereal[/li][li]and Cock Soup[/li][/ul] Obviously there are products with intentionally crude or suggestive names, notably beers, wines, and hot sauces. What is out there that’s not on the link above? What American products would potentially get you slapped if asked for in another country? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/2 "2010-06-22T19:30:14Z")
[The Pu Pu platter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu_pu_platter)! ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/3 "2010-06-22T20:14:41Z")
I’ll have a faggot with a spotted dick please. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/4 "2010-06-22T20:16:18Z")
Grmph. This was meant to be an IMHO. Would a passing mod be so kind as to toss it that way? And have some spotted dick for your trouble! ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/5 "2010-06-22T20:17:45Z")
spotted dick? edit: beaten to it. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@Mister\_Owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Owl)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/6 "2010-06-22T20:23:47Z")
Cock-a-leekie soup. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/7 "2010-06-22T20:24:30Z")
How about a [toad in the hole](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toad_in_the_hole)? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/8 "2010-06-22T20:45:57Z")
There is a Japanese brand of (sort-of) soft drink called Calpis, or as we ex-pats charmingly called it, Cow Piss. When they marketed it in the US they were smart enough to change the name to Calpico. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/9 "2010-06-22T20:46:10Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > I’ll have a faggot with a spotted dick please. I was at my favourite pub in Santa Monica and ordered the faggots & peas. (I don’t think they carry them anymore.) It was crowded, and a lot of people were ordering food, so the waitress had her arms full. ‘Faggots?’ I raised my hand. :smack: Mmm… Liver meatballs with gravy! ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/10 "2010-06-22T20:48:28Z")
This thread is a bit different than I was expecting from the title. I was going to put in a vote for the “Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity” platter at International House of Pancakes. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/11 "2010-06-22T21:06:17Z")
Mmmm…who doesn’t enjoy a mouthful of [Hot Kid honey balls](http://quirkspace.com/jsfr/?p=381)? ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/12 "2010-06-22T21:09:11Z")
Bangers. ---
**Author:** ![kun11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@kun11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kun11)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/13 "2010-06-22T22:26:04Z")
Not exactly what you meant but I always smile when I eat the Japanese dish “oyako don”. It translates to parent and child bowl because it has chicken and eggs in it. Sounds really savage to me (but it’s yummy!). ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/14 "2010-06-22T22:38:12Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > Bangers. Banger? I hardly knew her! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/15 "2010-06-22T22:40:24Z")
There’s Yellow Pea Soup. In the military Cream Chipped Beef on toast is known as SOS, an abbreviation for Shit On a Shingle. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/16 "2010-06-22T23:06:41Z")
Half the list doesn’t make sense. Cockburns is pronounced “Co’burns” and I’ve still to work out what’s wrong with Horlicks exactly. Perhaps they’re thinking it’s pronounced “whore licks”, or something (in which case, it isn’t)? ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/17 "2010-06-22T23:22:34Z")
I see this as more of a MPSIMS thread, and have moved it there from GQ. **samclem** , Moderator ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/18 "2010-06-22T23:34:19Z")
My [sweet balls](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=568021). Anything with dillweed in it. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/19 "2010-06-23T00:24:57Z")
Cheese!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153/20 "2010-06-23T01:13:28Z")
I buy pickles just to say, “do you want to bite my pickle?” Sausages, cheese logs, pretty much anything that looks like a penis, too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-cant-order-with-a-straight-face-in-the-us/544153.md?page=2)