# Foods you wish existed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2014, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732 "2014-09-07T04:54:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/21 "2014-09-08T00:03:44Z")
A zero-calorie sweetener that didn’t taste like complete ass. I’ve changed my diet (and lost 25 pounds, tyvm) and really want to reduce my sugar intake even more than I have, but I just can’t stand the taste of any artificial sweeteners. I don’t care what it is or how much they promise that it tastes like real sugar, it doesn’t and it’s disgusting. My life would change with such a thing- it would open up a whole new world. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/22 "2014-09-08T01:10:35Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > I wish cookies would grow like tomatoes or peppers. That way they would count as a vegetable. Or possibly a fruit. Well, you do know that chocolate is a vegetable, right? It comes from beans. Beans are a vegetable. The same is true of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/23 "2014-09-08T01:11:54Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Lembas. > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Dammit, I came in just to post that. 😛 > > Oh well, how about ent-draughts, or miruvor then. The Lemba people, an African ethnic group in Zimbabwe and Southern Africa who have links to ancient Jewish communities? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/24 "2014-09-08T01:19:16Z")
Funistrada. Buttered ermal. Braised trake. Please check the citation. To fight the ignorance of future generations. I wrote that Wiki entry and it was killed by whomever kills articles, and I pleaded with them to keep it. They said it wasn’t noteworthy! They still do! Well, it’s noted here, goddammit! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/25 "2014-09-08T02:05:02Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > The Lemba people, an African ethnic group in Zimbabwe and Southern Africa who have links to ancient Jewish communities? Lembas bread, from Lord of the Rings. [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Middle-earth\_food\_and\_drink#Lembas](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Middle-earth_food_and_drink#Lembas) ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/26 "2014-09-08T04:15:31Z")
Sugar-free milk. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/27 "2014-09-08T04:39:32Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Lembas bread, from Lord of the Rings. [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Middle-earth\_food\_and\_drink#Lembas](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Middle-earth_food_and_drink#Lembas) Thanks. I submit: Soma. ---
**Author:** ![Sodalite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Sodalite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sodalite)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/28 "2014-09-08T06:27:51Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > I brought his up in a different thread and thought it would be interesting as its own thread: > > I wish they made chocolate chip cookies without the chips. Like like chocolate chip cookies but I would like to just taste the cookie part sometimes. One time some company had a magazine ad where they pictured this kind of cookie and I got excited thing it was real but realized they were using it as an example of something that was incomplete. So disappointed. > > What kind of food would you like to see? Oops. I just answered the cookie thing over in that other post because I didn’t see this thread. I start at The Pit and work my way up. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/29 "2014-09-08T09:10:35Z")
Uh, chocolate chip cookies CAME from a recipe WITHOUT the chocolate… So they _did_ exist; it’s just that most people don’t make them anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/30 "2014-09-08T09:16:21Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Lembas bread, from Lord of the Rings. [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Middle-earth\_food\_and\_drink#Lembas](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Middle-earth_food_and_drink#Lembas) My brothers still refer to my first baking attempt (which involved all the necessary items except the yoghurt leavening, because the person who gave me the recipe didn’t think of including it) as “the day Nava made lembas”. So I respectfully submit that they do exist, they’re just rare. The unrisen, cooked non-cake probably wouldn’t have lasted for months but it did travel well and last a couple of weeks, not because my brothers weren’t willing to make it last less but because it was rationed. ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Bragg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Stealth\_Bragg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Bragg)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/31 "2014-09-08T12:21:11Z")
I don’t have an oven, just a microwave: so I want microwavable fish-fingers 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/32 "2014-09-08T16:00:29Z")
They make lactose free cheese slices and shredded cheese, but how about a lactose free cheese sauce? I want nachos dammit! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@The\_Wino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wino)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/33 "2014-09-08T16:27:24Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > They make lactose free cheese slices and shredded cheese, but how about a lactose free cheese sauce? > I want nachos dammit! How much actual cheese and/or lactose could there possibly be in nacho cheez? I suppose someone will be along presently to tell me I’m wrong but I’ve never considered it a dairy product. I see it sitting open in giant cans at the gas station all the time. I’m lactose intolerant and don’t eat nacho cheez but it wouldn’t occur to me that it might make me sick. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/34 "2014-09-08T17:53:39Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > I submit: Soma. [Soma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carisoprodol) aka Carisprodol. A “muscle relaxer” with great abuse potential, it’s metabolized into meprobamate, a famous minor tranquilizer (think Miltown). It also potentiates the effects of opioids. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/35 "2014-09-08T18:18:48Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > And that beer that has candy floating in it…you know, Skittlebrau. And the world-famous Moon Waffle. And khlav kalash. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/36 "2014-09-08T18:39:47Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > And that beer that has candy floating in it…you know, Skittlebrau. \*“Meester Simpson, you just made that one up!” \*(I actually ran across a soda with suspended candies in it some years ago in Canada. As gross as it sounds.) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/37 "2014-09-08T18:54:05Z")
When I was in the Georgian SSR, people (not me, I was 10, but a lot of the adult couples without children) had sparkling white wine with breakfast, and when they had it at breakfast, it was served with a stick of chocolate in it, like the Cadbury “flakes” of chocolate you can get in your ice cream in the UK (something at that point, when I was in Georgia, I had not yet experienced, because I was still about six months away from my first visit to London). As far as foods I wish existed, pretty much anything I want, I make. I suppose I wish there was chocolate that you could make a complete, nutritionally sound meal out of. I wish there was Indian food that didn’t need to be diluted with so much rice and yogurt in order not to burn my mouth. I haven’t learned to make Indian food myself. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/38 "2014-09-08T18:54:35Z")
> [@The\_Wino](#): > > How much actual cheese and/or lactose could there possibly be in nacho cheez? I suppose someone will be along presently to tell me I’m wrong but I’ve never considered it a dairy product. I see it sitting open in giant cans at the gas station all the time. I’m lactose intolerant and don’t eat nacho cheez but it wouldn’t occur to me that it might make me sick. From reading labels in the store, most cheese sauces contain whey or whey powder as a primary ingredient, which is like a [lactose bomb](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_content_of_foods) for people like me. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/39 "2014-09-08T19:42:56Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > A zero-calorie sweetener that didn’t taste like complete ass. I’ve changed my diet (and lost 25 pounds, tyvm) and really want to reduce my sugar intake even more than I have, but I just can’t stand the taste of any artificial sweeteners. I don’t care what it is or how much they promise that it tastes like real sugar, it doesn’t and it’s disgusting. My life would change with such a thing- it would open up a whole new world. Sigh. You might find that combining two different types of artificial sweeteners helps with the taste (it’s like they cancel each other out or something :p). I use one packet of Splenda and one packet of Truvia in my morning tea, and I can’t detect the chemical aftertaste of either one when they’re combined. And congratulations on the weight loss! ---
**Author:** ![Cheerleading\_Dropout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@Cheerleading\_Dropout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheerleading_Dropout)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732/40 "2014-09-08T20:13:43Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Zero calorie pizza. Zero calorie [insert any delicious junk food here]. A hybrid of watermelons and grapes would be magical. Oatmeal with the milk/yogurt already seamlessly integrated into it, so that it doesn’t get runny/lumpy (it would have a more pudding-like consistency, I guess). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foods-you-wish-existed/697732.md?page=3)