# Football & Poetry: NFL Haikus **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945 "2004-09-10T19:10:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/1 "2004-09-10T19:10:39Z")
It’s kickoff weekend, and I’ve been inspired (in part by [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=275469) thread, and in part by Gregg Easterbrook’s _[Tuesday Morning Quarterback](http://nfl.com/nflnetwork/story/7653798)_ column). So, I’m calling on all NFL fan Dopers to express their views, haiku-style. No particular rules here, just some 5-7-5 NFL talk. Season predictions, smack talk, whatever you like. A few that came to mind for me: Philadelphia, “overrated” be thy name. Birds go six and ten. The Eagles curse ends. No title game loss this year. They’ll choke long before. Niners mismanaged. Boom! Salary cap implodes. First draft pick next year. Smoke dope or play ball? Big fish makes his choice and leaves. Thanks a lot, Ricky. :mad: So, what’cha got? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/2 "2004-09-10T19:14:11Z")
Professional sports? Not for me, thank you. I’ll pass. What a waste of time. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/3 "2004-09-10T19:15:25Z")
I miss John Elway. Rocket launcher for an arm Dismal predictions. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/4 "2004-09-10T19:32:18Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Professional sports? > Not for me, thank you. I’ll pass. > What a waste of time. I used to agree Then three years ago I found It’s a game of brains ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/5 "2004-09-10T19:32:32Z")
QB sneak on two Defender coming for me I can’t feel my legs The Chicago Bears Owned by the McCaskkey clan Wait for them to die. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/6 "2004-09-10T19:48:10Z")
“Hail to the Redskins!” “Hail the returning Joe Gibbs!” 8 and 8 this year ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/7 "2004-09-10T20:07:41Z")
The Chiefs play Denver Sunday night at Mile High Fear the orange crush ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/8 "2004-09-10T23:28:56Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > No particular rules here, just some 5-7-5 NFL talk. Season predictions, smack talk, whatever you like. 5-7-5 defense? Too many men on the field Ten yard penalty. Boller takes the snap Handoff to Lewis - Touchdown! Seven on the board Boller takes the snap Overthrows wide open Heap. Please drop the charges. ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/9 "2004-09-10T23:57:01Z")
My fantasy team Worse than San Diego’s D Yahoo messed up draft. :mad: Go New Orleans Saints Ah well, who am I kidding At least I’ve hockey. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/10 "2004-09-11T01:30:03Z")
Team Lacking Logo: Will Kellen Winslow Matter? Glad that Couch is gone ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2004, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/11 "2004-09-11T05:40:48Z")
The Pittsburgh Steelers will dominate the lowly Baltimore Ravens. Refs will look closely at DBs who push and shove Yellow laundry flies. Will New England lose? Dillon was what they needed turned it up a notch My mind is mush, I can’t think of another set so I go to bed ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2004, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/12 "2004-09-11T07:32:21Z")
The Cardinals suck Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck Suck suck suck suck suck ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/13 "2004-09-11T17:45:26Z")
Hey, Terrell Owens: After a month with McNabb You’ll miss that “gay” guy. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/14 "2004-09-12T04:08:35Z")
**astorian** , you’ve inspired me to send T.O. another message (sorry for the line two theft)… Something you will learn After a month with McNabb: Bounce passes don’t count. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/15 "2004-09-13T01:17:34Z")
Cleveland Browns have won! Smack the Ravens in the mouth Week 1 win, at last! Deion Sanders? Hah! He is “Past-His-Primetime” now Go back to pregame Boller takes the snap! Hands it to Jamal Lewis! Lewis thrown for loss! I can’t go without criticism of my favorite team: William Green can’t run. Stop giving him the ball, now! Short steps, won’t get far ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/16 "2004-09-13T01:29:25Z")
I will wait, Niners for you to be good again This is depressing Niners fans are quite glum But at least we’re not Bears fans so we should cheer up I’m at the museum The Bears game fucked my traffic please go lose elsewhere ---
**Author:** ![AndyPolley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@AndyPolley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyPolley)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/17 "2004-09-13T05:23:19Z")
My AFC East predictions, in haiku form. Miami This Year Wannstedt flipping through want-ads Fourth place finishers Buffalo again Shall rack up many losses Fight hard for Third place Last Year Champions Wild card playoff spot for them Pats in second place Canton Bound Martin One last year of dominance Gang Green Takes first place Takes the league by storm Pennington holds the trophy With Lombardi’s name I’m emboldened by A day of football & drink I’d best get to bed ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2004, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/18 "2004-09-13T06:01:28Z")
Chi-Town wants Da Coach Bears will ruin Grossman yet. McCaskey go. Now. Midway Monsters gone Urlacher on the D L Sure do miss the Fridge McCaskey runs things Into the ground Go Bears and Take the sox with you ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2004, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/19 "2004-09-13T06:26:48Z")
Quentin Griffin runs Made the KC D his bitch Go little man go! Jake the Snake has seen Good days and really bad days This year is his year! Raiders in a slump It’ll last at least a decade Black pit of despair Priest Holmes sets a goal Run right to the super bowl He should flee KC ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945/20 "2004-09-13T06:32:01Z")
Quentin Griffin runs Made the KC D his bitch Go little man go! Jake the Snake has seen Good days and really bad days This year is his year! Raiders in a slump It’ll last at least a decade Black pit of despair Priest Holmes sets a goal Run right to the super bowl He should flee KC [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/football-poetry-nfl-haikus/263945.md?page=2)