# For all those limerick fans.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422 "2000-02-28T20:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/41 "2000-03-02T04:24:00Z")
There once was a young maid from France, Who when asked merely said in a trance: In all my lives past I was rather fast, ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/42 "2000-03-02T04:49:00Z")
There once was a young maid from France, Who when asked merely said in a trance: In all my lives past I was rather fast, And I STILL am, so jump in my pants! 😃 * * * [**StoryTyler**](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage) “Not everybody does it, but everybody should.” ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/43 "2000-03-03T06:57:00Z")
All right, how about: There was a young man from Des Moines, Very well-endowed in the groin, … ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/44 "2000-03-02T19:19:00Z")
There was a young man from Des Moines, Very well-endowed in the groin, But it was later revealed, That what he concealed, Was a salami which he purloined. ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/45 "2000-03-02T19:38:00Z")
A Message Board that I peruse Had Cecil! A genius, and muse… ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/46 "2000-03-02T21:00:00Z")
A Message Board that I peruse Had Cecil! A genius, and muse. Encounters low wit, Calls’em a twit, And offers an answer obtuse! * * * VB “Rudyard Kipling?” “Don’t know; I’ve never Kippled!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/47 "2000-03-02T23:43:00Z")
One funny old poster named Phaedrus Fancied himself quite a brain trust. Whenever he posted, He constantly boasted – His fibbing was something outrageous. But now and again he’d lose track Of all he’d been saying way back 'Till one day he claimed To be blind deaf and lame And a gold medal athelete in track. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/48 "2000-03-02T23:45:00Z")
One funny old poster named Phaedrus Fancied himself quite a brain trust. Whenever he posted, He constantly boasted – His fibbing was something outrageous. But now and again he’d lose track Of all he’d been saying way back 'Till one day he claimed To be blind deaf and lame And a gold medal athelete in track. ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/49 "2000-03-03T16:27:00Z")
Ah, ah, ah! Let us stick to the game, ladies and germs! Dare I start anew? Yes! I dare! A lawyer from Pittsburgh P.A, … * * * My fate keeps getting in the way of my destiny. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/50 "2000-03-03T17:11:00Z")
Vestal Blue posted, brilliantly: > [@](#): > > A Message Board that I peruse > Had Cecil! A genius, and muse. > Encounters low wit, > Calls’em a twit, > And offers an answer obtuse! As a certified SDMB nitpicker, may I observe that “obtuse” in a mental situation means “dull, not acute” and offer the alternate ending line… > [@](#): > > …And offers an answer abstruse! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/51 "2000-03-03T22:40:00Z")
A lawyer from Pittsburgh, PA Was surprised by his wifey one day. Now to pay for her grief She has filed his briefs (As well as her boot) up his A. * * * The Dave-Guy “Since my daughter’s only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?” J.H. Marx ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/52 "2000-03-03T22:48:00Z")
There once was this wonderful moose, who one day came across a caboose, * * * To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.—Anon. ---
**Author:** ![Glenoled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Glenoled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glenoled)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/53 "2000-03-03T23:50:00Z")
## There once was this wonderful moose, who one day came across a caboose, he was so near-sighted… I don’t suffer from insanity… I enjoy every minute of it! ---
**Author:** ![dragonfly98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@dragonfly98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonfly98)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/54 "2000-03-04T00:03:00Z")
who forgot his name he should say… * * * “What’s right is only half of what’s wrong and I want a short-haired girl Who sometimes wears it twice as long” George Harrison - _Old Brown Shoe_ ---
**Author:** ![dragonfly98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@dragonfly98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonfly98)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/55 "2000-03-04T00:06:00Z")
\\code:\\\There once was this wonderful moose, who one day came across a caboose, he was so near-sighted that he refused to be slighted ```auto ------------------ "What's right is only half of what's wrong and I want a short-haired girl Who sometimes wears it twice as long" George Harrison - *Old Brown Shoe* ``` ---
**Author:** ![ASPA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@ASPA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASPA)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/56 "2000-04-02T03:22:00Z")
_This limerick is great, hilarious, and perfectly so, altogether, in every element. I’m retunring to this thread after having read it a few days ago; just have to note my appreciation. The whole play with language reminds me that limericks contributed to my earliest compelling and major appreciation of poetry processes._ > [@](#): > > Originally posted by Vestal Blue: > \*\* > > There once was a plumber named Lee > who was plumbing a girl by the sea > Said the girl “stop your plumbing,there’s somebody coming” > Said the plumber still plumbing “it’s me!” > > \*\* ---
**Author:** ![ASPA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@ASPA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASPA)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422/57 "2000-04-02T03:25:00Z")
_ **HAW HAW HA HA HAWWWW** _ oh, 'scuse me, I’m still responding to the above quoted limerick. Ha Ha Ha Ha Haa [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-all-those-limerick-fans/15422.md?page=2)