# For Better or For Worse: Kortney! (spoiler) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087 "2004-04-26T13:49:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/21 "2004-04-29T03:21:27Z")
And then she can pick up Mr. Dithers and beat Dagwood to death with him. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/22 "2004-04-29T03:33:26Z")
Riley “Escobar” Freeman sez: “Yeah, okay… but the bitch better not bring her Canuck ass on Buckshot Avenue.” Huey and Grandpa were unavailable for comment. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/23 "2004-04-29T04:06:42Z")
No, if Elly has any sense of justice she’ll head straight to Mary Worth’s apartment complex and set up as a sniper and clear some space on the comic pages for something where the plot actually progresses. And then when Judge Parker shows up to investigate…it’ll make KillBill look like child’s play. ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/24 "2004-04-29T06:29:57Z")
This thread has taken a turn for the better, and yet I feel that we’re all going to wind up in hell… ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/25 "2004-04-29T11:54:50Z")
Sorry to interrupt everyone’s happy little killing spree, but in [today’s](http://www.ucomics.com/forbetterorforworse/2004/04/29/) strip, we find that Kortney was in fact directly involved in the theft a few months back. 2 points to **EddyTeddyFreddy** for calling it (sorta) in that old Pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/26 "2004-04-29T12:35:08Z")
After she clears out some space maybe she could troop over to Bill Watterson’s house and hold the gun to his head till he starts drawing Calvin & Hobbes again. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/27 "2004-04-29T12:55:08Z")
> [@Menocchio](#): > > Then it’s off to Doonesbury, to get the other leg. > > Sorry Sorry? SORRY? **Menocchio** , don’t apologize for making me laugh hysterically this morning! Be proud of your timely Doonesbury joke! I predict that after Elly wipes out the Family Circus kids, Cathy, B.D.'s hopes of ever walking again, and Mary Worth, she’ll head on over to Funky Winkerbean and give them something to really angst about! Then it’s off to Luann… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/28 "2004-04-29T12:59:55Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I have a vision of a gut-shot Billy staggering into the kitchen, with a long, looping blood trail detailing exactly where he went in the neighborhood before he made it home. Already done. [Here.](http://www.brunching.com/blaircircus.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/29 "2004-04-29T13:06:14Z")
The good intentioned, but badly misinformed denizens of The Far Side will try to stop Elly by staging suicide attacks…meaning that they’ll just run up to her en masse, and chug down bottles of cyanide, perhaps with the vague rationalization that they’ll somehow clog her path with their dead. But, of course, their bodies will be quickly consumed by pythons, ravens, and a portly fellow named “Irwin.” ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/30 "2004-04-29T15:04:53Z")
Oooh! I was just thinking about that toy train robbery last night, and wondering if it would turn out that Kortney had something to do with it. I am not surprised that she did–ye gods, she’d probably been bleeding from the shop since she started working there. I hope that Elly doesn’t sweep this under the rug; hopefully Lynn Johnston will have her deal with it realistically. I just wonder that the police hadn’t told her what they’d uncovered about the Kort! Now for me, I’m starting to think that the Kort is headed up the River. However she -may- try to create some chaos before she goes there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/31 "2004-04-29T15:23:24Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > So, am I the only one who thinks that having built the storyline up to a crescendo so many times and then let it come to this anti-climactic end, Lynn will just have Elly feel bad for a bit, then cheer up and the topic will never be mentioned again? I feel a bit cheated that we didn’t get to see the firing. I think that Lynn was uncomfortable writing this storyline, and she’s copping out on us. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/32 "2004-04-29T18:28:31Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > And then she can pick up Mr. Dithers and beat Dagwood to death with him. Beetle Bailey’s unit will be called in to restore order. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/33 "2004-04-29T18:55:40Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > No, please, the first stop MUST be those sniveling brats over at Family Circus. HAH! Those sniveling brats can not be destroyed. In fact, they are four of the survivors from _Village of the Damned_ who escaped to America. If Elly tries to drive over there, they’ll simply stare at her car until they force her to drive off a cliff. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/34 "2004-04-29T20:26:53Z")
Askia: > [@](#): > > Riley “Escobar” Freeman sez: “Yeah, okay… but the bitch better not bring her Canuck ass on Buckshot Avenue.” He need not worry; Aaron Magruder hasn’t done a non-talking-heads strip in months (maybe even years?). ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/35 "2004-04-30T01:23:22Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Beetle Bailey’s unit will be called in to restore order. All goes well until the Sarge loses a leg. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/36 "2004-04-30T01:40:00Z")
Elly’s murderous impulses may be just the thing to get Bucky and Fungo on the same side, for once. Although _which_ side is _quite_ another question. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087/37 "2004-04-30T03:27:46Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > All goes well until the Sarge loses a leg. Ironically, this was only because Bailey was trying to shoot off his _own_ foot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-better-or-for-worse-kortney-spoiler/242087.md?page=1)