# For Don123 and his fuckwit brethren **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263 "2010-08-05T13:48:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/21 "2010-08-05T16:49:59Z")
I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/22 "2010-08-05T16:54:30Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available. Assuming you were born in Britain, guess what? You’d get a [modern update](http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_176217.pdf) of it. Fortunately for us, and for everyone else for that matter, you will never have to worry about keeping your job as President. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/23 "2010-08-05T16:56:15Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available. They give you what Obama has (well if you were born in Hawaii). Get it through your head simpleton, they give you what Obama has presented. The originals are in an archive and they don’t give them out, it’s policy. Every single person born in Hawaii would get the same sort of certificate if they were to re-order them today. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/24 "2010-08-05T16:58:31Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Assuming you were born in Britain, guess what? You’d get a [modern update](http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_176217.pdf) of it. Yes, but I’m sure if David Cameron needed the original copy to assume his office as the PM, he’d be able to rustle it up pretty quickly.\* > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Fortunately for us, and for everyone else for that matter, you will never have to worry about keeping your job as President. Nice one, centurion. - Now there’s a thought. I’m gonna do some checking on those pricks. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/25 "2010-08-05T16:59:30Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. But it would still be a replica, wouldn’t it? Can you _prove_ that it was accurate? For that matter, can you _prove_ that aren’t the bastard son of hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore? Until you can _prove_ that you aren’t the bastard son of a hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore, and that your so-called “birth certificate” isn’t a fake, we’ll just have to label any claims otherwise as rumor. Right? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/26 "2010-08-05T17:02:42Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > > [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > > I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. > > But it would still be a replica, wouldn’t it? Can you _prove_ that it was accurate? For that matter, can you _prove_ that aren’t the bastard son of hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore? Until you can _prove_ that you aren’t the bastard son of a hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore, and that your so-called “birth certificate” isn’t a fake, we’ll just have to label any claims otherwise as rumor. > Right? As I keep on reminding you, it doesn’t matter who, where, when or who to that **I** was born. I’m not the one being trusted with running the country, fortunately. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/27 "2010-08-05T17:02:53Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Yes, but I’m sure if David Cameron needed the original copy to assume his office as the PM, he’d be able to rustle it up pretty quickly. Fortunately, Obama doesn’t have to provide the original to assume his office as President, because American judges, for all their flaws, aren’t crazy people. Plus, in any case, the certificate of live birth that Obama has already produced would be accepted by any US court of law. All you need is the testimony of the relevant records custodian confirming that it’s genuine. In this case, that custodian is the director of the Hawaii Department of Health - who has confirmed that it’s genuine. In any case, David Cameron gets to tell the Home Office what to do. Obama doesn’t get to tell the Hawaiian Department of Health what to do. Federalism’s a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/28 "2010-08-05T17:05:19Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > In any case, David Cameron gets to tell the Home Office what to do. Obama doesn’t get to tell the Hawaiian Department of Health what to do. Federalism’s a bitch. A very convenient bitch, if you can’t find your proper birth certificate. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/29 "2010-08-05T17:05:59Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > > In any case, David Cameron gets to tell the Home Office what to do. Obama doesn’t get to tell the Hawaiian Department of Health what to do. Federalism’s a bitch. > > A very convenient bitch, if you can’t find your proper birth certificate. Fortunately, that isn’t the case. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/30 "2010-08-05T17:06:46Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > > In any case, David Cameron gets to tell the Home Office what to do. Obama doesn’t get to tell the Hawaiian Department of Health what to do. Federalism’s a bitch. > > A very convenient bitch, if you can’t find your proper birth certificate. You really ARE a moron, aren’t you. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/31 "2010-08-05T17:08:21Z")
If Don123 is “filthy rich” I’ll eat my hat. I’ll eat everyone’s hat. Unless he inherited, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/32 "2010-08-05T17:09:55Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > > In any case, David Cameron gets to tell the Home Office what to do. Obama doesn’t get to tell the Hawaiian Department of Health what to do. Federalism’s a bitch. > > A very convenient bitch, if you can’t find your proper birth certificate. In this case, it’s a rather inconvenient bitch, since apparently nothing short of carbon dated placenta will convince you or your fellow fuckwits of the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/33 "2010-08-05T17:10:24Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > [@Czarcasm](#): > > > > But it would still be a replica, wouldn’t it? Can you _prove_ that it was accurate? For that matter, can you _prove_ that aren’t the bastard son of hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore? Until you can _prove_ that you aren’t the bastard son of a hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore, and that your so-called “birth certificate” isn’t a fake, we’ll just have to label any claims otherwise as rumor. > > Right? > > As I keep on reminding you, it doesn’t matter who, where, when or who to that **I** was born. I’m not the one being trusted with running the country, fortunately. And let me remind _you_ that President Obama and his staff has provided a hell of a lot more evidence as to the events of his birth than you have of yours. The fact the you have rejected all evidence presented and taken the side of those who have presented _no_ evidence seems to support my theory as to the paternal side of your family tree, however. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/34 "2010-08-05T17:21:14Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available. And had Obama insisted on this, and somehow got it against stated policy, exactly the same people would be saying it must be a fake because policy requires that you only get the modern updated version, and that Obama must be a Muslim mole because otherwise how would he have so much influence within the records department. His production of the document sought would have been seen as evidence that it was a fake. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/35 "2010-08-05T17:25:09Z")
OP: Ivan is a high-functioning idiot spewing conspiracy theories. Let’s all point and laugh! Ivan: Conspiracy theories rule! Everyone: _Pointing and laughing_ Good one **El\_Kabong**. What else can you get him to do? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/36 "2010-08-05T17:26:56Z")
High functioning? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/37 "2010-08-05T17:30:20Z")
Yes, Einstein. In a battle of wits, I’d shit on you in my sleep. And you still wouldn’t be able to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/38 "2010-08-05T17:31:26Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > High functioning? I can believe he’s high, but _functioning_? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/39 "2010-08-05T17:34:34Z")
Let me roll another dooby and I’ll come back to that…if I can remember what my point was. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263/40 "2010-08-05T17:39:57Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > > A very convenient bitch, if you can’t find your proper birth certificate. > > In this case, it’s a rather inconvenient bitch, since apparently nothing short of carbon dated placenta will convince you or your fellow fuckwits of the truth. **Carbon dated placenta** _wins_ the thread!! Here’s \*my \*five dollars. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-don123-and-his-fuckwit-brethren/549263.md?page=3)