# For Easter - A new Chick tract (Haw Haw Haw!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 20, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753 "2003-04-20T02:16:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/1 "2003-04-20T02:16:53Z")
Look **at** this. [Man in Black](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5023/5023_01.asp). **It’s** another Catholic-bashing tract from the pious doodler. It compares the Virgin Mary **with** various pagan goddesses, calls **various** items associated with Mass forms of “idolatry”, ‘exposes’ the Vatican as a blasphemous plot **by** Satan to destroy true Christianity, subtly **connects** the Church with the Klan and other **evil** organisations, calls the Inquisition the most brutal act of **hate** in history, and lays several **slams** at the Popes, “intermarriage, pedophilia, incest, and occultic murders”, which were all “swept under the rug.” The convertee claims, “A priest that I knew said he actually saw those files in the Vatican. _ **It’s all true!** _” Too bad, he shoulda consulted [Cecil](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_074.html) on that one, _ **twenty years ago** _. And in the end, Bob **saves** another blasphemous Catholic from hell. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/2 "2003-04-20T02:31:25Z")
Wow. That’s a steaming pile, even for Chick. And how _dare_ he use the nickname of Johnny Cash in vain like this. In my household, that’s a mortal sin. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![presidebt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c37758/32.png) [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/3 "2003-04-20T02:35:04Z")
Geez, the scariest part is the “What to Pray” section at the end, where it instructs you on what to say to god if you’re a Catholic heathen and want to “repent and be saved!” And that insistence on the KJV of the bible after that elequent quotation about never changing the Bible. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/4 "2003-04-20T02:40:08Z")
Check out that crazy looking dog in the second panel. I also loved how the priest is named Damien. _Omen_ reference? Haj ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/5 "2003-04-20T02:45:14Z")
Am I noticing a hidden message in Blackeyes’s’s’s post? “at It’s various by connects evil hate slams It’s all true! twenty years ago saves Blackeyes” Maybe if you play his post backwards… (Oh, yeah, and Jack Chick can suck my balls.) ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/6 "2003-04-20T03:38:01Z")
It’s so hard to find a really great whore. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/7 "2003-04-20T04:48:32Z")
When it comes to Catholic-bashing, I don’t think Jack Chick will ever top “The Death Cookie.” ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/8 "2003-04-20T05:08:05Z")
If you type in [Jackchick.com](http://Jackchick.com) you get a site with a popup for porn sites. I dunno, **Snooooopy** I think [Holocaust](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0054/0054_01.asp) was the low for him. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/9 "2003-04-20T07:53:42Z")
Not to defend Jack, but to be fair, the Inquisition was really nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/10 "2003-04-20T08:20:03Z")
Chick’s mini-tracts are hilarious/bewildering enough, but if you want a really full-on dose of ignorance, check out his full-length color comic books. A born-again co-worker has the entire series of them and lent them to me to persue. The storylines concern two huge muscular fellows, one white and one black, who call themselves “The Crusaders” and travel around the world fighting evil, i.e., Catholics, Jews, Liberals, and Satanists, though not necessarily in that order. My personal fave was “Spellbound”, where the pagan/Satanic roots of rock music were revealed, along with the “fact” that 90 percent of the media and governmental elites are in on the conspiracy. Rough quote from memory: “The Beatles introduced America to Satanic Eastern religous thought in the 1960’s…it was a well-planned assault on Jesus Christ…America will never recover”. Good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/11 "2003-04-20T09:31:31Z")
My favorite thing about Chick is that whenever he gives a cite for his claims, it’s from a Chick Publications book. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/12 "2003-04-20T14:09:00Z")
I especially like the part that says “ **Warning!** Never add to or take away from God’s words!” Isn’t that what you’re doing, Jack? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/13 "2003-04-20T15:19:41Z")
…and speaking of whores, what was Madonna (in her “Ray of Light” era) doing with the horned dude? ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/14 "2003-04-20T15:43:48Z")
I liked the picture of “Angry Jesus,” shaking his fist at some reprobate like an old man chasing kids off his lawn. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/15 "2003-04-20T15:49:37Z")
This was already [url=“[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=175758&highlight=Chick](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=175758&highlight=Chick)”] covered a while ago. As I posted in that thread, Chick’s distortion of history can appeal only to grade school dropouts. Some of Chick’s biggest whoppers: [list] [li]Emperor Constantine was not a pope[/li] [li]The primacy of the bishop of Rome as the head of Christendom was not generally accepted until the reign of Leo I (440-461) and even then the Orthodox Patriarchate in Constantinople did not always accept papal authority. [/li] [li]Medieval Europe was not the desolate place depicted by Chick. The breakup of the Western Roman Empire into new states was a replacement, not the destruction of, civil order. Moreover, Chick ignores the cultural and political vibrancy of the Byzantine Empire, whose authority extended as far west as Italy, and the rise of the Cordovan emirate in Spain. [/li] [li]Kings did not kowtow to the popes. In fact, several medieval popes fell afoul of the Byzantine Emperor and were deposed or killed. Moreover, Popes have never claimed to BE Christ, but to lead His people.[/li] Moreover, Chick elides right over the Arian controversy, the Nestorians, the Monophysites, the Iconclasm controversy, the Filioque question, and several other issues that show that the medieval church was not some Vatican-orchestrated single entity. I still want to know who Jack Chick refers to in frame 22 when he says “the real Christians . . . fled to the mountains, taking the Word of God with them.” ---
**Author:** ![Kallisti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@Kallisti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallisti)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/16 "2003-04-20T15:55:53Z")
I want \*\*ANGRY JESUS \*\* on my dashboard! A JC with a wrath like a kielbasa and knows how to use it! ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/17 "2003-04-20T16:38:37Z")
Jack must have seen The Name Of The Rose, the monastery pictured looks just like the one from the movie. In fact that movie must be Jack’s wet dream, its al about evil Catholics. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/18 "2003-04-20T16:48:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*I still want to know who Jack Chick refers to in frame 22 when he says “the real Christians . . . fled to the mountains, taking the Word of God with them.” \*\* There’s a theory by those people who believe that the Constantine adoption of the Christianity corrupted it…Since Christianity is supposed to have existed in an unbroken line from Jesus’s time to today, and since the Catholic and Orthodox churches, having been coopted by Rome weren’t “real” Christianity, there were secret communities of Christians in Europe from Constantine to the Reformation. The Bogomils, the Waldensians, the Cathars…all of these groups were the “true Christian” groups, and when the Catholic church discovered them, it gave them each different names and claimed they were heretics, inventing beliefs for them. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/19 "2003-04-20T17:00:57Z")
Ugh. What garbage. And even worse, I look almost exactly like Bob. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/20 "2003-04-20T17:15:55Z")
His grasp of ancient religion is fascinatingly bad. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753.md?page=2)