# For Easter - A new Chick tract (Haw Haw Haw!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 20, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753 "2003-04-20T02:16:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/21 "2003-04-21T06:25:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\*There’s a theory by those people who believe that the Constantine adoption of the Christianity corrupted it…Since Christianity is supposed to have existed in an unbroken line from Jesus’s time to today, and since the Catholic and Orthodox churches, having been coopted by Rome weren’t “real” Christianity, there were secret communities of Christians in Europe from Constantine to the Reformation. The Bogomils, the Waldensians, the Cathars…all of these groups were the “true Christian” groups, and when the Catholic church discovered them, it gave them each different names and claimed they were heretics, inventing beliefs for them. \*\* I was really sad when Bogomil got shot, but then Detective Foley caught the bad guys and Bogomil got better. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/22 "2003-04-21T06:56:56Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by LaurAnge_ > **His grasp of ancient religion is fascinatingly bad.** Yeah, but it’s kinda cute. His line of “Isis Horus Seb” bullshit sounds like what you’d get if you were teaching problem-solving skills to a bright three-year-old. “Mommy! Mommy! What do those letters mean?” “Well, little Jackie, what do _you_ think that means?” “Uh…maybe the baker’s name was Iggy Howard Smith! And he wanted everyone to know he made the cookie!” “That’s good thinking! What else could they mean?” “Well…maybe it’s the initials of a **demon cult’s unholy pagan gods!!!** ” ::chuckle:: “Oh my, you _do_ have an active imagination, little Jackie!” ---
**Author:** ![MSU\_1978](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@MSU\_1978](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MSU_1978)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/23 "2003-04-21T12:26:43Z")
Chick’s cult is intellectually bankrupt and of no significance. It does not deserve our attention. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/24 "2003-04-21T13:30:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MSU 1978 \* > \*\*Chick’s cult is intellectually bankrupt and of no significance. It does not deserve our attention. \*\* Yeah, but it’s FUN! 😛 Robin ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/25 "2003-04-21T14:15:24Z")
How can you not appreciate the unintentional humour of the man who has entertaining tracts like "[Angels?](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0034/0034_01.asp) or the always popular [Dark Dungeons](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp) I mean the man’s grasp of reality is very tenuious. That can easily be seen in lines such as when the lead singer catches the reader up on the plights of his “Christian” rock band. **"It’s all over. Everything is ashes. Bobby Died of AIDS and Jim O.D’d. And Don is into Vampirism."** What the hell??? Don is into Vampirism??? Where did that come from? I guess Jack couldn’t think of another Rock related death and threw it in. Damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/26 "2003-04-21T14:20:34Z")
Yeah, but why did Twiggy Ramirez leave? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/27 "2003-04-21T14:25:49Z")
Well, one of my professors, a devout Catholic, says that Christianity did get corrupted when it was adopted by Constantine, but not because it wasn’t the “true Christianity”-just that it became more elitist, and less of a religion of the downtrodden and oppressed. But there were no “true Christians” who fled or whatever. BTW, what about _Fox’s Book of Martyrs_. How accurate is that? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/28 "2003-04-21T14:26:28Z")
Seriously, I’ve been a Chick fan since Dark Dungeons. “Noooooooo!” ---
**Author:** ![Deptford](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Deptford](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deptford)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/29 "2003-04-21T15:17:27Z")
Ok, i thought that Dark dungeons was my favourite but the Angels one.Ladies and gentlemen we have a new champion. Best tract ever. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/30 "2003-04-21T15:17:32Z")
My favorite part is the end, where he tells the priest about Jesus. As a Catholic, he’s probably completely unfamiliar with the idea: “Jesus? Who the hell is Jesus? Is he the guy who rides the seven-headed dragon?” ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/31 "2003-04-21T15:47:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\*The Bogomils, the Waldensians, the Cathars…all of these groups were the “true Christian” groups, and when the Catholic church discovered them, it gave them each different names and claimed they were heretics, inventing beliefs for them. \*\* I don’t know for the Waldensians, but the Bogomils and the Cathar’s beliefs had nothing to do with J. Chick’s religion and protestantism in general. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/32 "2003-04-21T15:54:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*“Jesus? Who the hell is Jesus? Is he the guy who rides the seven-headed dragon?” \*\* Well, in Jack Chick tracts, jesus may well be that guy. ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/33 "2003-04-21T18:01:00Z")
Oh my God, **Angels** is hilarious! I love the “KILLER ROCK” org chart. Also, “Then I’ll give you a little wedding present…some AIDS.” Priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/34 "2003-04-21T18:15:57Z")
How about the great lyrics in _Angels_, “We’re gonna rock, rock, rock, rock with the rock.” ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/35 "2003-04-21T18:48:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*How about the great lyrics in _Angels_, “We’re gonna rock, rock, rock, rock with the rock.” \*\* Well, it’s at least as good as anything **I** hear on the radio. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/36 "2003-04-21T19:40:50Z")
Yeah, so many things to be amused by, here. I like the recurrence of that perennial fave, “the Christian layman who knows things that amaze the expert.” Here, it seems that the priest hasn’t taken a course in Church or Biblical history in his life, because Bob knows all this stuff that’s completely new to him. (The most popular occurence of this theme is the student in Biology 101 who easily reduces the Theory of Evolution to rubble, of course.) Chick never explains what he means by ‘rewriting’ the Bible. Since the “Satan’s Bible” was given to Constantine, and IIRC, we don’t have any Bible manuscripts that date back further, that means the New Testament is _still_ “Satan’s Bible.” Did Martin Luther somehow rediscover the original NT, saving Christianity from the clutches of Satan? As the Catholics say, it’s a mystery! 😉 Hey, under Chick’s theory, it would seem that the **Mormons** would have the best claim to being the ‘true’ Christianity, since their claim is that their precursors were already in the Americas, beyond Constantine’s reach, when he was corrupting the rest of Christianity. I’d give $100 for the opportunity to suggest that directly to Chick, to see how apoplectic he’d get. And of course, I _love_ the “angry Jesus”. We _know_ Protestants have _never_, **ever** portrayed God as angry. (I guess Jonathan “Sinners in the hands of an angry God” Edwards must’ve been a secret agent of the Catholics. :D) But I guess it’s OK to show an angry Father, and a merciful Son (so the Godhead’s a bit schizophrenic!), as opposed to an angry Christ and a merciful Mary. On such distinctions rest the difference between The True Faith[sup]TM[/sup] and heresy. Finally, Chick’s comment about Catholicism unwittingly applies far better to his own brand of religion: > [@](#): > > _ **No way** _ can this counterfeit religion possibly be the _ **true** _ Church Jesus created, which showed love and forgiveness." ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/37 "2003-04-21T20:35:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\* > Chick never explains what he means by ‘rewriting’ the Bible. Since the “Satan’s Bible” was given to Constantine, and IIRC, we don’t have any Bible manuscripts that date back further, that means the New Testament is _still_ “Satan’s Bible.” Did Martin Luther somehow rediscover the original NT, saving Christianity from the clutches of Satan? As the Catholics say, it’s a mystery! 😉 \*\* I think he’s just making the argument against using the Codeces Vaticanus and Sinaticus as the basis for bible translations…you know, that the Byzantine manuscripts that would become the Textus Receptus were around, but not used until the Reformation (and it’s true that they were a favorite of the reformers). He’s KJV only. **Guin** , as far as I know, Fox’s book is fairly accurate…there was a lot of persecution of “heretics” out there. **Clairobscur** , the Waldensians were a 13th century proto-Protestant group in Piedmont. Chick probably would say that the Cathars and Bogomils did believe things similar to him, but the Catholic Church lied about them, attributing to them the ideas that are recorded as being their beliefs. The thing about Chick it’s important to understand, is that Chick has a conspiritorial view of history. For him, all of history is a struggle between two forces…that of God and the Devil, and that, in this world at least, the Devil is winning. So, rebutting his arguments by saying, “But the Catholic Church doesn’t worship the ancient goddess Isis in another form” or “But the assassination of Lincoln wasn’t really a Jesuit plot” won’t work, because all the sources you learn that in…all secular history books, all secular science books, are tainted, their writers influenced by the secret demonic-influenced cabal of Catholics and Freemasons who rule the world behind the scenes. You can’t trust it. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/38 "2003-04-21T20:47:46Z")
This Satan bears a noticeable resemblance to Lore. I don’t remember seeing THIS in any TNG episode! ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/39 "2003-04-21T21:07:19Z")
Realizing that even though I know that INRI stands for _Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum_, but have no idea what IHS stands for, I decided to do a Google search. Turns out, IHS stands for [Indian Health Service](http://www.ihs.gov/). No wait, make that [Information Handling Services](http://www.ihs.com/engineering/index.html). No, I mean it stands for [Institut für Höhere Studien](http://www.ihs.ac.at/) (Insitute for Advanced Studies). Or maybe the [International Headache Society](http://www.i-h-s.org/). Wait, make that the [Institute for Housing and Urban Development Studies](http://www.ihs.nl/index.html). Or would that be Institute for Housingandurbandevelopment Studies? Those wacky Dutch with their wacky Germanic language–always cramming a bunch of words together to make a single word. How zany! Then again, maybe it’s…aaaahhh, screw it. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753/40 "2003-04-21T21:47:02Z")
IHS is the first three leters of the name “Jesus” in Greek. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-easter-a-new-chick-tract-haw-haw-haw/169753.md?page=3)