# For male dopers: If you are married or might possibly, do you or would not wear your wedding ring? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573 "2010-10-27T19:49:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/81 "2010-10-29T00:16:17Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Oh, it’s even richer when mother and child have different last names, and you’re questioned “Oh, are you a single mom?” Or worse, “Oh, is your father not in the picture? Illigitimate?” “Divorced, and she remarried?” Like any woman offered to take her husband’s last name just JUMPS at the chance, and if mother and child don’t share the same last name, it’s because there’s a problem. Grrrrrr. Just pointing out that this also varies by the culture you’re raised in. In places where the women do not change their last names, having a kid with the same last name implies the dad is unknown, or out of the picture. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/82 "2010-10-29T02:42:55Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > Just pointing out that this also varies by the culture you’re raised in. In places where the women do not change their last names, having a kid with the same last name implies the dad is unknown, or out of the picture. That may be so, but I did not come from a cultural mecca, I come from small-town Pennsylvania, where immigrants are few and far between. > [@Apollyon](#): > > Yep – mentioned a couple of posts back; left-handed and find having rings or watches on my left hand gets in the way. I could wear my ring on my left – although, having just tried it, it feels weird after 14 years and I’d have to get the ring altered as my left hand fingers are obviously a bit bigger. Ah HA! I knew a couple guys who wore it on their right hands were Dutch when the other poster mentioned it, but that didn’t explain the rest. But quite a few of the other ones _were_ left-handed, so I bet that’s it. Very cool! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/83 "2010-10-29T03:18:54Z")
My partner and I have been together almost 23 years, and neither of us cares about jewelry or symbols of our relationship. But we decided that if same-sex marriage is ever legal in this state, we’d get married and exchange rings. But not on our fingers. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/84 "2010-10-29T03:26:21Z")
I’ve been married for 17 years, and I wear my ring always. The only time it leaves my finger is if I’m doing some sort of work where having a ring on my finger might cause problems. Then I’ll take it off, put it aside, and put it back on as soon as I’m done. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/85 "2010-10-29T04:00:12Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > It’s only a guess, but there is probably a strong correlation between women who are the most excited about getting their fiance to fork out for an extra-special engagement ring, and those who are the most excited about becoming “Mrs. HisLastName.” Both actions are very traditional. > > Likewise, those who prefer to keep their own name are likely to care the least about a formal engagement ring. So if you are trying to portray women who keep their names as hypocrites because we reject tradition when it coms to our egos but accept it when we get expensive jewelry, you are unlikely to succeed. > > As for me, I asked my husband-to-be NOT to get me an engagement ring, because I thought it was really dumb that he, a fresh graduate with no cash and dizzying levels of student loans to pay off, should be forced to go further into hoc just to get me a diamond to “prove his love,” or something lame like that. I’m lucky in that over here, the future mother-in-law is supposed to buy the rings. She took us to one of her favorite gold shops in Chinatown for ours. Just wedding rings, though; no engagement ring was ever involved. ---
**Author:** ![oboelady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8491ac/32.png) [@oboelady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oboelady)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/86 "2010-10-29T04:52:59Z")
Male here, despite the username. Will be married for 39 years on Saturday. The ring was put on my finger at the altar and never removed until last June when I broke several fingers and had to have surgery and it was in the way. Put it back on a couple of weeks later and hopefully won’t take it off ever again. I never had a ring before I got married, but, getting used to it was no problem. I am still incredibly happy to be married and let people know. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/87 "2010-10-29T10:50:18Z")
I wear my wedding ring to work and on the way home from work but take it off at home and when at the office. I just can’t stand the feel of jewelry on me for a sustained period of time. If we’re visiting the in-laws I’ll wear it, of course, or if we’re all doing something together as a family then I’ll wear it, but I feel more comfortable without it. I’ll also wear it when I travel overseas on business or with my wife. My wife knew that I don’t like to wear any kind of jewelry or watches long before we were married so we spent a lot of time trying to find a wedding ring that I really liked the look of in the hopes that I could keep it on my finger for any length of time. It took a while but we eventually found a ring, made by a German company, Breuning, which was a rose gold and white gold mix - very simple yet elegant. I like it a lot, but I just can’t keep it on my finger all day. I’ve never tried but I don’t think I’d be able to sleep with it on. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/88 "2010-10-29T16:49:11Z")
I’ve never been married, but if I ever do, I won’t wear a ring. I don’t wear any jewelry, even a watch. It’s terribly distracting. Likewise, I would NOT spend thousands of dollars on a wedding ring for my wife, unless I happened to be a millionaire at the time. If you refuse to marry me for these reasons, then you’re probably marrying me for the wrong reason anyway. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/89 "2010-10-30T17:12:25Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Sure. But never wearing a ring at all is a different thing than taking it off for out-of-town trips. > > My job requires travel from time to time, and I’m always accompanied by members of my team, the majority of whom are married. I can think of two or three who take off their rings as soon as they get to the airport, and those are always the ones who want to, say, hit the strip bars or nightclubs or whatever whenever time allows. My SO is divorced, has been for years. But when he travels to meetings and conferences, he puts ON a wedding band, because he says in his industry NOT being married is more of a problem, so he tells people he is. Plus it works to deter SOME women from hitting on him. Problem for me is, some of the people he works with have met his friend Beth when she has helped out at his trade show booth and they assume she is his wife. So I worry that if they then meet ME, they will think he is cheating on HER! My ex-husband could not wear his wedding ring because of his job. I never had a problem with that, because my dad had the same issue. But my ex cheated like crazy! When he left me and married one of his flings, she made him wear the ring all the time. But the ironic thing was that it was the same ring he had used for our wedding…it was his dad’s! I thought that was so odd…she was so jealous of our former relationship, I couldn’t imagine she wouldn’t insist on a fresh ring! When she dumped his sorry butt, he gave the ring to our son. I never took off my wedding rings from the day I found out I was pregnant with our first child until the afternoon of the dissolution. Have a small scar as a reminder. I gave the stone to my daughter for her wedding ring. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/90 "2010-10-30T21:30:22Z")
I’m a woman and I frequently don’t wear my wedding ring. I don’t like rings, especially when I’m playing tennis because it snags on my leg when I try to put the ball up my skirt. (Yes, that’s what we do.) To me, the confines of my marriage were entered into voluntarily and nothing about that 4mm band shackles me more than my honor. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/91 "2010-10-31T01:06:15Z")
My father hasn’t worn his ring for awhile because it needs resized, and he just hasn’t had a chance to take get it done. (My dad has really swollen, heavy knuckles) That doesn’t mean my dad isn’t devoted to my mother. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/92 "2010-10-31T02:36:42Z")
My wife and I both wear our wedding rings. Mine has come off once in nearly six years, just for a bit of a cleaning. I dislike jewelry in general, but I had no problem getting used to the ring. For what it’s worth, my wife did not change her name. This was largely on aesthetic grounds, though. Her name is quite lovely: if she changed it, it would be something like Tomoko Goldberg. ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/93 "2010-10-31T02:52:12Z")
Wear mine except for the rare occasions where it causes problems…hard labor, poser equipment, MRIs. I’ve never known a ring to prevent stepping out on the spouse. If you are going to do that, a ring won’t change anything. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/94 "2010-10-31T04:02:04Z")
It also strikes me that having one’s ring on in a hotel bar while traveling might be advantageous. It signals that anything that happens will likely be no strings sex with no chance of further attachment. If you’re into that sort of thing, well, a ring is golden. ---
**Author:** ![chicken\_wire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@chicken\_wire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_wire)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/95 "2010-10-31T13:52:59Z")
Dad hasn’t got a wedding ring so far as I know. Mum has always worn hers and probably couldn’t get it off her finger now if she wanted to, what with her arthritic joints. She has a diamond engagement ring but I’ve never known her to wear it (and probably couldn’t now if she wanted to). They are / were lower middle class, Anglo, protestant, married in Australia in 1969. I suppose as a result of coming from those norms, I wouldn’t want to have to wear a ring if married, but I would expect my wife to. I don’t wear any jewellery and would find it awkward. Something else to discuss with the girlfriend, I reckon. ---
**Author:** ![drillrod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@drillrod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drillrod)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/96 "2010-10-31T14:26:52Z")
Come December I’ll have been married for 15 years. For the vast majority of the time, I haven’t worn my ring. Even when I do wear it, I take if off frequently for safety reasons, so I’ve never really gotten comfortable with it. This reminds me; we moved about two months ago and I have no idea where it is right now. ---
**Author:** ![TurboNuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@TurboNuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TurboNuke)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/97 "2010-10-31T15:32:10Z")
I’m an electrician, so I don’t wear my ring. I also knew a guy who degloved his finger because of his ring. If you want to be disgusted google “degloved finger” images. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/98 "2010-10-31T16:09:04Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > **Scarlett67** (and anyone else) do you know of any men who wear their wedding rings on their right hand besides your hubby? I’ve seen a handful of men who describe themselves as married wearing a band on their right hand. They can’t all have a problem w/ their left hands. The vast majority of people in countries where the Eastern Orthodox Church is traditionally the majority religion, and immigrants from those countries who live in the U.S. (and likely in othe places, though I have much less experience with other places). I’ve even known third-generation Serbian-Americans who wear their wedding rings on the right hand. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/99 "2010-10-31T16:31:36Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Her name is quite lovely: if she changed it, it would be something like Tomoko Goldberg. _snicker_ I have an Indian friend (born and raised here) who almost exclusively dates white girls. He’s traditional and wants whoever he marries to take his name. I can’t wait for the presence of a Jessica Venkatachalam or an Emily Bhattacharya. ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573/100 "2010-11-01T02:26:28Z")
I wear mine probably less than half the time. I’ve always disliked any kind of restriction on my fingers or wrists (I even take my watch off to eat, or to type) and a ring bothers me when using my hands for just about anything. I always have it with me, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-male-dopers-if-you-are-married-or-might-possibly-do-you-or-would-not-wear-your-wedding-ring/558573.md?page=6)