# For no good reason, I"m doing three minutes of open mic stand up in about a month **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2017, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761 "2017-12-07T04:20:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/181 "2017-12-23T15:55:27Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Why are you doing gay jokes about a dead singer who hasn’t been relevant in 30 years? It’s like a 1987 comedian doing a routine about Liberace being camp. Yeah as mentioned, I am worried about that too, but I try to at least lampshade this in the last bit of the set. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/182 "2017-12-23T16:07:16Z")
Those George Michael jokes are probably the first ones on the block if and when I come up with replacements, I’m hoping to have some other “continuing thread/callback” type setup to replace them with. OR whatever comes to me. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/183 "2017-12-24T01:23:17Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I think you just exactly restated what I said. That is **Knowed Out** ’s take on the line that I referred to. 🙂 Yes. I was trying to give credit to whoever thought of it and say that I agreed with that re-write. I was having trouble fining the original post so I didn’t give credit. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2017, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/184 "2017-12-24T20:50:43Z")
George Michael is inherently funny. It’ll work. I think the whole set will work pretty well. If you get a particularly big laugh at any time in the 3rd minute, call it a night. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/185 "2017-12-30T15:30:21Z")
Anyone who happens to be in Indianapolis (or close enough for it to be convenient) and would like to watch me bomb\*, PM me and I can get you a ticket for free admission. (There is still a two drink minimum). \*FWIW I’ve been in the audience for several of these things and aside from bombing newbies there are always plenty of really funny old hands there as well. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/186 "2017-12-30T15:37:11Z")
It’s Tuesday January 9th, btw, show starts at 8PM ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/187 "2017-12-30T18:29:45Z")
Wish I could be there, except I’m too far away and it’s predicted to be down to 1 (ONE!) tonight so, sorry, can’t make it. Best of luck and be sure to report back. Is there anyone who can record your part on their phone and then post it for our delectation? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/188 "2018-01-10T00:43:10Z")
Hey, break a leg. (Does one say that to comics? I know you don’t say it to dancers…) ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/189 "2018-01-10T04:17:25Z")
I had a good time. Frylock’s set was good and he seemed to do well for his first time on stage. I didn’t find the incest joke too edgy, but I have a dark sense of humor. Honestly, I’ve heard so many stories about comics bombing so badly on their first on stage event that they stay out of the field for years (I read that happened to Jim Carrey) and I was worried that would happen, but Frylock did a good job. If he does another show I’ll go to that too. I’m surprised there were so many comics out there. That heavy guy with the beard who talked about bigfoot was great. Also I was shouting BOO-urns, just in case there was confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/190 "2018-01-10T04:42:48Z")
Linky to my set: [Dropbox - 3min standup.MOV - Simplify your life](https://www.dropbox.com/s/v0bry1exxt91vqv/3min%20standup.MOV?dl=0) It… went pretty well! There’s just one joke, near the middle, that completely didn’t land. And I started to make the mistake of apologetically explaining the joke for a second but caught myself and moved on to the next joke. Also watching the video, I should work on how much I walk. (And the fidgeting with the mic at the beginning only works because people are being nice because it’s open mic night, so I gotta get that down too.) ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/191 "2018-01-10T04:44:52Z")
Wesley, thank you so much for coming–I really appreciated knowing you were there. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/192 "2018-01-10T04:51:04Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Wesley, thank you so much for coming–I really appreciated knowing you were there. It was fun. Considering it was open mic my hopes weren’t too high but there were some really good jokes in there and I enjoyed myself as much as I do at other comedy shows I’ve been to. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/193 "2018-01-10T05:26:28Z")
Not bad for your first time out, **Frylock**. I’ve been to many open mic comedy events, and you got laughs. Not all first-timers at open mic events do. A couple of comments, if I may. First of all, the stage is yours, but you need not use all of it–the walking around bothered me a bit. That may just be me–I’ve seen some standup greats live, and they tend to stay in one place. Nextly, know your material absolutely cold, such that you do not need prompts. It was obvious that you were referring to your jokes on your phone. This takes your attention away from the audience. I still recall seeing Tim Allen do standup a couple of years ago–it was an hour-long set, and Allen was perfectly prepared. He did not take his eyes off the audience, and perhaps as a result, I felt as if Allen was telling us some funny stories that were just coming to him. A very natural delivery, much like a friend might relate a funny story in a social situation, which made them work all the better. But neither of those comments should detract from the fact that, for a first-timer, you did well. You got laughs, which is the point. You can work on the other stuff later. For now, I’ll just say that had I been in the audience, I would have been laughing during your set, and clapping at the end of it. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/194 "2018-01-10T15:14:17Z")
This recording (sound only) is clearer, though with one small skip about 2/3 of the way through: [Dropbox - 3min.mp3 - Simplify your life](https://www.dropbox.com/s/s0z2gemh818s80k/3min.mp3?dl=0) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/195 "2018-01-10T16:08:25Z")
I just want to know how you got the N2O into the ventilation system. Seriously, though, not a bad job. Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/196 "2018-01-10T16:20:37Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I just want to know how you got the N2O into the ventilation system. You kid but there’s a reality behind the observation: I came close to last for the evening, after several really funny people had warmed the audience up quite a bit. (Except the guy right before me–he played to a silent room, poor fellow.) > [@](#): > > Seriously, though, not a bad job. Congratulations! I appreciate it! It went much better than I expected, to be honest. I did end up going for a more natural, personable delivery, and I’ll probably do the same next time for the six minute version, and then if I keep going I’ll try to go more minimalist as I’ve suggested above. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/197 "2018-01-10T18:43:58Z")
Good set. I was pleasantly surprised. The performance was more than just the words your typed out for us. You have the “I’ve got an embarrassing secret” look. You could say something really shocking and not have it backfire on you. Like Spoons said, you looked at your phone too much, but you’ll eventually overcome that. I don’t know what you were intending with the Spirits FM joke, but you recovered and moved on quickly. I liked the “It’s OK, I’m adopted” line with the creepy qualifiers. I thought you were best with those types of jokes. The ones that weren’t about you weren’t as funny, because the audience laughed at self-analytical flaws that personally resonated with them. I could tell they were anticipating to laugh when the jokes were about you. And you put in the pause before “that they know of.” Thumbs up for that! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/198 "2018-01-10T20:33:34Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Like Spoons said, you looked at your phone too much, You could make that work for you. Use it like a prop, refer to it every so often, then say, “excuse me” and start typing on it. Eventually go back to your routine. Later, excuse yourself again and type on the phone. Repeat a few times, then smash a punchline about who you’ve been conversing with. (Needs work, but it’s a barebones idea) ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2018, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/199 "2018-01-12T16:19:53Z")
That was quite good! The material worked for you, and your timing was much better than a typical first-timer. I think you’re right in that you should quit the pacing. I think if you can stand, wide and tall like you own the place, you could get almost a Penn Jilette vibe. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761/200 "2018-01-25T03:46:12Z")
For the curious, I think the following is going to be the basis for my next set. Supposed to be six minutes, may need some filling out (though the physical “prop” one in the middle could take some time… probably the most hard-to-pull-off one in the set, exciting!). I challenged myself, after the relatively cheap laughs and quasi-edginess-sort-of of my first set, to make some jokes that aren’t like that this time. _Trying_ to make slightly smarter, cleaner jokes, or anyway, not have as many cheap or crude crutch jokes, now that I know I can get up on stage and deliver comedy for three minutes at least. > [@](#): > > Good morning. > > There’s a street corner near my house where several hispanic people stand just hoping for an honest day’s work. Then the other day I saw standing there with them, a young white millenial hipster type. Gentrification rears its ugly head. > > It turns out I’m married. I have not checked yet with my wife to see whether I may tell jokes about her. So… I’m cleverly ending this joke without a punchline. > > I just bought these glasses. I told them I need my glasses to reflect my personality: Square and a bit thick > > I love children. When I grow up, I hope to have three of them. One for the food stamps. One to grab me a beer. And I will need another kid, to be responsible for raising the other two. > > Do you guys remember Mad Libs? … o…kay? What am I supposed to do with that information? > > Oh, actually, I did bring a series of racially offensive jokes. We just need to fill in the blanks… who are you guys mad at right now? > > Sometimes, out of the blue, apropos of nothing, for no reason at all, someone will say to me, “Kris, have you even been listening?” > > [Takes random junk out of pocket, tosses it to the floor, waits a beat, gestures towards the junk] Turns out I’m a prop comic. [Beat. Pick up the junk methodically. Count the change. Pick up a last coin as though one was missing] > > Earlier I implied I don’t have any children, but that was a lie. I have three or four. > > I caught myself the other day being a very poor father. I told one of my little boys not to cry. And I said it’s “unmanly”. I couldn’t believe what had just come out of my mouth. I try to be a good feminist. So at my earliest opportunity I made sure to also let my daughter know that crying is unmanly. > > I read they scanned a 2000 year old mummy and they announced that it had cancer. Thank god they caught it. Chemo starts tomorrow. > > That’s… going to be a very soggy mummy. > > Is anyone here in an open relationship that they know of? > > I was driving across the country and I heard on the radio at one point, “Spirit FM. The more you listen to us, the closer you get to God.” I panicked. I changed the channel immediately. I’ve seen Indiana Jones. > > I’ve been really happy lately, and that has me worried. > > People have given me some good advice about comedy. A couple of great rules to follow. First, don’t be weird, just be yourself. Second, everything’s gotta come in threes. Good night. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-no-good-reason-i-m-doing-three-minutes-of-open-mic-stand-up-in-about-a-month/803761.md?page=11)