# For non-speed readers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-non-speed-readers/20289>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 23, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-non-speed-readers/20289 "2000-05-23T16:19:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-non-speed-readers/20289/1 "2000-05-23T16:19:23Z")

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I just found this hilarious website called Book-a-Minute Classics ([http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml](http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml)). It’s the perfect place to check when you need a quick way to describe a classic novel. Here’s my favorite, for “Beowulf”:

Hrothgar: Let’s build a big old dining hall and call it Herot.  
(They do. Then Grendel, an ugly guy, takes over Herot and eats people. Beowulf rips his arm off.)

All: You rule, Beowulf.  
(Some people make SPEECHES and tell IRRELEVANT STORIES. Beowulf kills some more STUFF.)

Beowulf: Wiglaf, I’m dying. See that my funeral pyre fits my greatness.

Wiglaf: Ok.

THE END

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**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-non-speed-readers/20289/2 "2000-05-23T16:41:33Z")

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Oooh, that reminds me. Have you ever read the book _Grendel_? It’s a short read, basically Beowulf from Grendel’s point of view. I’ll have to read that tonight. Thanks!

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**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-non-speed-readers/20289/3 "2000-05-23T18:50:57Z")

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That page is hysterical! Here’s Rime of the Ancient Mariner.  
Ancient Mariner  
I am creepy and old. Listen to me.  
Wedding Guest  
I’m late, but I’ll listen.  
Ancient Mariner  
I killed an albatross. Then everyone died.

THE END

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**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\
**Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-non-speed-readers/20289/4 "2000-05-25T04:11:22Z")

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Just about everything on rinkworks is hilarious. My favorites are the computer stupidities page and Pea Soup for the Cynic’s Soul. Right up there with the Onion.