# For Og's sake, I (BigT) don't condone rape! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059 "2013-04-18T19:35:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/1 "2013-04-18T19:35:42Z")
**TubaDiva** cut off this conversation in ATMB, so I’m putting it here in MPSIMS, as this is something that apparently needs to be made public. > [@Misogyny on board](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/121): > > He didn’t threaten me. He didn’t say he would hurt me. It was just a thought in the back of my mind that I was alone in the woods with a man who kept trying to undress me when I didn’t want him to. > > I wasn’t fighting him off during sex. I just decided that giving in might be my better option. So is that changing my mind? I don’t know and still wonder about it. I wasn’t traumatized, or terrified and I still don’t know what to call it. > > But from his point of view “no” didn’t mean “no”. He could be one of the guys posting about this girl who said “no” but he talked her into a “yes” with no idea of what happened from her point of view. First off, your experience is awful, and I am very, very sorry it happened to you. I do not in any way condone that sort of thing. I was responding to an [on-topic post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16192555&postcount=87) about why certain comments did not fall afoul of the “No encouraging illegal activity” rule. I was not discussing whether or not I personally agreed with the legal definition of rape. I used words such as “crime” and “legally” to make this as clear as I could. As should be no surprise to anyone who has actually read my posts, I do not believe the law goes far enough. I almost never do when it comes to sexism (or any other form of bigotry). In [the post in question](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16193036&postcount=112), I even called coercion of sex “morally reprehensible” and explained how it made me want to vomit. Whether the law would consider what happened to you rape, I do not know. (There’s an implied threat, even if it’s not overt.) That would be another thread, probably in GD, if you are up for it. I will completely understand if you are not. ## Whether I consider it rape depends on whether you consider it rape. It’s definitely at least molestation, since the guy was trying to get your clothes off. And I’m perfectly fine with saying that all sex that results from molestation is actually rape. But I’m not going to claim it was rape if you don’t think it was. It just is not my place. (And I’m sure my stance is debatable. Again, that’s another thread.) I also understand that both you and **ladyfoxfyre** were under tremendous strain dealing with this issue, so I understand your misreadings of my post. Perhaps I could have even been clearer. But I do not appreciate being lumped in with the misogynists or any other set of bigots on this board. As even my haters should be able to tell you, one of the things I will not tolerate is bigotry. I say “should” because of a couple of other posts from posters I will not name. Even if you misunderstood what I said in your haste to deal with the main topic of the thread, your supposed familiarity with my posts should have led you to realize I didn’t mean what you thought I meant. Seriously, if you think I’m pro-rape, then you have no right to ridicule anything I ever say. The idea that anyone who has read what I’ve said about bigotry and sexism and still think I’d be okay with rape is mind-boggling. If anything, I am a bit overly sensitive about bigotry. (And everyone collectively says, “_ **A BIT?!** _”) My only consolation is that I haven’t been pitted, so at least some people apparently understood what I meant after they’d had a chance to think about it a bit. Well that and the ATMB thread freaking worked!!! :D:D:D If it wasn’t against the rules, I’d have a party thread! ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/2 "2013-04-18T19:43:47Z")
I don’t really want another thread about what is rape and what constitutes rape or consent or convincing people to change their “no” to “yes”. I’m exhausted by the entire discussion in 3 different forums. Ok, you’re not for rape. Cool. Thanks for clarifying. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/3 "2013-04-18T19:46:46Z")
Who has the popcorn? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/4 "2013-04-18T20:39:01Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > I don’t really want another thread about what is rape and what constitutes rape or consent or convincing people to change their “no” to “yes”. I’m exhausted by the entire discussion in 3 different forums. Ok, you’re not for rape. Cool. Thanks for clarifying. I’m exhausted and unhappy, too. It’s actually affecting my viewing of other things. I try not to think about the rampant misogyny in the world everywhere I go. I’m 100% with you. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/5 "2013-04-19T00:44:43Z")
I’m tired too. There are just so many threads in so many forums. It’s exhausting. I just can’t think about these things anymore. That’s why I’m posting in this thread as well as all the others. Because I’m too tired to talk about the topic any further. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/6 "2013-04-19T00:45:49Z")
God, shut the fuck up **akennett**. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/7 "2013-04-19T01:22:16Z")
it’s ok **BigT** no one thinks you’re a rapist. you’d have to leave the house. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/8 "2013-04-19T01:50:42Z")
Wow. Voltaire was right. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-ogs-sake-i-bigt-dont-condone-rape/656059/9 "2013-04-19T02:04:27Z")
I’m going to go ahead and close this. The MPSIMS mods can reopen if they want, but based on the first few posts I don’t see any chance this is going to turn out well.