# For opponents of SSM, how do you react to seeing images/video of happy gay couples being married? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602 "2012-12-10T15:23:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/1 "2012-12-10T15:23:40Z")
I’m a supporter of SSM, and upon seeing the recent images of ecstatic couples getting married in Washington state, I felt a nice little wave of good feelings. But it made me wonder- how do opponents of gay marriage react when they see that? Do they feel disgust? Sadness? Indifference? Amusement (I’ve heard some opponents say that it’s as absurd as marrying a car or a horse)? Do they feel any good feelings towards the happy couple? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/2 "2012-12-10T15:34:29Z")
Judging from comments on the topic of Facebook disgust seems to be a common reaction, especially to pictures of male-male couples kissing. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/3 "2012-12-10T15:35:18Z")
Most of them have the most confusing boner right now. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/4 "2012-12-10T15:57:37Z")
Yeah, I always suspect the really vocal comments of “Disgusting!” to be hiding a more aroused reaction to the photo. Personally, for me, it’s chopping onions all the way. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/5 "2012-12-10T16:02:31Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![solosam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@solosam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solosam)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/6 "2012-12-10T16:37:15Z")
The world is full of people doing things I think are dumb. However, what I think about it is completely irrelevant. So I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/7 "2012-12-10T16:51:42Z")
> [@solosam](#): > > So I don’t care. As a Gay guy hoping to someday legally marry my partner of 31 1/2 years, I can accept “I don’t care” as an honest answer - so thank you! Hugh Hefner is set to be married to a woman who could probably be his great, great granddaughter, and some people (like my younger brother) have been married 8 times, and some Kardashians get married and divorced for PR and gifts - and I don’t care either. Why people get freaked out by any two people getting married is beyond me…and my guess is, many of you had some naysayers when you announced who you were marrying…and you went ahead and got (legally) married anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/8 "2012-12-10T17:30:37Z")
From a moral/legal point of view it makes me sad because it is something I don’t think should happen. Seeing Jerry and Tom get married and being happy is like seeing them enjoy smoking; I’m sure they are happy but I don’t think they are in a good way.; no ewwww factor at all. ---
**Author:** ![Snnipe\_70E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/9 "2012-12-11T04:31:05Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > From a moral/legal point of view it makes me sad because it is something I don’t think should happen. > > Seeing Jerry and Tom get married and being happy is like seeing them enjoy smoking; I’m sure they are happy but I don’t think they are in a good way.; no ewwww factor at all. That is a good description of how I feel. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/10 "2012-12-11T04:54:25Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Why people get freaked out by any two people getting married is beyond me… My theory is that many of the naysayers have spent their entire lives listening to people they were told to listen to, and those people told them that SSM and homosexuality are wrong, and that gay people aren’t to be trusted. Any sane, rational, intelligent argument has to swim upstream against a torrent of bullshit, and it’s hard to make any headway. That, and, I suspect that many of the people who are disgusted are not particularly bright. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/11 "2012-12-11T08:37:09Z")
> [@Snnipe\_70E](#): > > That is a good description of how I feel. I feel genuinely sorry for you two and I hope that one day you’ll change. ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/12 "2012-12-11T10:16:40Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > From a moral/legal point of view it makes me sad because it is something I don’t think should happen. > > Seeing Jerry and Tom get married and being happy is like seeing them enjoy smoking; I’m sure they are happy but I don’t think they are in a good way.; no ewwww factor at all. > [@Snnipe\_70E](#): > > That is a good description of how I feel. Seriously, who are you to judge what makes someone happy when it doesn’t do them or you any harm whatsoever? Don’t you think Jerry and Tom know best what they want? The smoking analogy is kind of offensive, actually, since it implies that Jerry and Tom are bad for each other. Would they be better off with a wife and kids, secretly hating themselves every day, as so many unfortunate people are? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/13 "2012-12-11T11:13:32Z")
At the end of my day its something which I really cannot get worked up to oppose, not when they are other far more pressing issues. I find it unfortunate that it is occurring, but well its their life and their decision. [QUOTE=DMark] As a Gay guy hoping to someday legally marry my partner of 31 1/2 years, I can accept “I don’t care” as an honest answer - so thank you! Hugh Hefner is set to be married to a woman who could probably be his great, great granddaughter, and some people (like my younger brother) have been married 8 times, and some Kardashians get married and divorced for PR and gifts - and I don’t care either. Why people get freaked out by any two people getting married is beyond me…and my guess is, many of you had some naysayers when you announced who you were marrying…and you went ahead and got (legally) married anyway. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I have read your posts and I find you a far more interesting and level headed person than the Kardashian clan. So comparing yourself to them or to Mr Hefner is not really helping your cause IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/14 "2012-12-11T11:17:52Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Yeah, I have read your posts and I find you a far more interesting and level headed person than the Kardashian clan. So comparing yourself to them or to Mr Hefner is not really helping your cause IMHO. Except that some people think their marriage is more valid than **DMark** ’s. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/15 "2012-12-11T11:21:48Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > Seriously, who are you to judge what makes someone happy when it doesn’t do them or you any harm whatsoever? Don’t you think Jerry and Tom know best what they want? The smoking analogy is kind of offensive, actually, since it implies that Jerry and Tom are bad for each other. Would they be better off with a wife and kids, secretly hating themselves every day, as so many unfortunate people are? While they certainly have the right to their opinions, I too am having a hard time with “the Ghey causes cancer” analogy or wherever that is going. You can quit smoking and obtain demonstrable health benefits. You can’t quit being gay; even the guy who invented the “pray away the gay therapy” has admitted it. And suppressing it has been shown to be actively detrimental. So I don’t know what the naysayers want, apart from for reality to be other than what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/16 "2012-12-11T11:23:16Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Yeah, I have read your posts and I find you a far more interesting and level headed person than the Kardashian clan. So comparing yourself to them or to Mr Hefner is not really helping your cause IMHO. He’s not comparing gay marriage to the Founder of Playboy’s, he’s equating _your_ sacred and holy union to Hef’s. Congratulations to both you and Hefner, may you find equal footing in the eyes of God as ye have here on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/17 "2012-12-11T11:52:10Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > So I don’t know what the naysayers want, apart from for reality to be other than what it is. Why, they want gay people to be lonely and miserable, because that’s clearly preferable to being in a ‘happy but not in a good way’, whatever the hell that means. That attitude is _unbelievably_ insulting to my relationship. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/18 "2012-12-11T12:27:20Z")
Eh, who cares what they think? They’re irrelevant. And dying offf, which is nice. I’m not gay, but personally I’ve always considered “Morons don’t like me” to be a badge of honor. ---
**Author:** ![Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fool_in_the_Rain)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/19 "2012-12-11T15:24:47Z")
This may seem wishy-washy, but over the years this is the position I’ve reached. In the past, I’ve been against it, but over time I’ve listened, and began to understand what the LGBT community has been seeking. Gay folks getting married doesn’t bother me, but, in all honesty, seeing two men kissing makes me uncomfortable. It doesn’t seem normal _to me_. This is the biggest problem i had in the past, the image was disturbing, and I believe I based my bias upon that alone, but today I wouldn’t begrudge their right to be happy together. I understand using the term ‘normal’ is a double-edged sword, but it is what it is. I don’t have those feelings, I don’t understand them, and quite frankly may never understand, but I also have no interest in invalidating their right to love one another. I’m married (well soon to be not - another story for another time), but I never (even then) felt my marriage threatened by gay marriage, nor did I think it invalidated it, reduced it, or weakened it. I do understand the vitriol others have against it, I once felt it, but now question why some can’t get past it, or at least learn a little before making blanket statements of rejection. The LGBT folks want the same rights as everyone else: healthcare, hospital visits, end-of-life-decision-making, life insurance, and innumerable other rights married folks have. Let 'em have them, no harm to me. ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/20 "2012-12-11T16:05:24Z")
> [@Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](#): > > This may seem wishy-washy, but over the years this is the position I’ve reached. In the past, I’ve been against it, but over time I’ve listened, and began to understand what the LGBT community has been seeking. > > Gay folks getting married doesn’t bother me, but, in all honesty, seeing two men kissing makes me uncomfortable. It doesn’t seem normal _to me_. This is the biggest problem i had in the past, the image was disturbing, and I believe I based my bias upon that alone, but today I wouldn’t begrudge their right to be happy together. > > I understand using the term ‘normal’ is a double-edged sword, but it is what it is. I don’t have those feelings, I don’t understand them, and quite frankly may never understand, but I also have no interest in invalidating their right to love one another. > > I’m married (well soon to be not - another story for another time), but I never (even then) felt my marriage threatened by gay marriage, nor did I think it invalidated it, reduced it, or weakened it. I do understand the vitriol others have against it, I once felt it, but now question why some can’t get past it, or at least learn a little before making blanket statements of rejection. The LGBT folks want the same rights as everyone else: healthcare, hospital visits, end-of-life-decision-making, life insurance, and innumerable other rights married folks have. Let 'em have them, no harm to me. Of course it doesn’t seem normal to you if you don’t have those feelings - that’s why I believe that most of the preachers crying about gay temptation are themselves as gay as the day is long. I personally believe that you are absolutely entitled to be squicked out by two men kissing, and so I applaud your change of heart about not wanting to stand in the way of their happiness, as opposed to some other people we’ve seen in this thread. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602.md?page=2)