# For opponents of SSM, how do you react to seeing images/video of happy gay couples being married? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602 "2012-12-10T15:23:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/81 "2012-12-12T15:42:09Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Or you could answer the fucking question. Yep. Don’t make us do your work for you. If you don’t feel like typing it up, find one of your own threads and copy and paste your reasoning here. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/82 "2012-12-12T15:44:11Z")
> [@Noone\_Special](#): > > As a long time supporter of gays’ rights (which really I just consider as _human_ rights), I still have to admit that PDAs between two men do make me uncomfortable. I just find PDA disgusting, full stop, whatever the gender or orientation of the participants. I am a prude what can I say. Or I could still be harbouring trauma from that flight to Sydney sitting next to demonstratively affectionate couple. ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/83 "2012-12-12T15:45:01Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > I just find PDA disgusting, full stop, whatever the gender or orientation of the participants. I am a prude what can I say. Or I could still be harbouring trauma from that flight to Sydney sitting next to demonstratively affectionate couple. Does that make you want to outlaw marriage? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/84 "2012-12-12T15:45:23Z")
> [@Noone\_Special](#): > > As a long time supporter of gays’ rights (which really I just consider as _human_ rights), I still have to admit that PDAs between two men do make me uncomfortable. My lizard brain, for some reason, does **not** want to see this, as much as I realize that it’s the _natural_ choice for other people. Could it be that you’re just not used to it? In the past year I’ve spent a lot of time around gays, straights, bis, and people for whom gender identity is a meaningless concept. I’ve seen it all, and it’s really no big deal to me anymore. It’s all just people loving one another. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/85 "2012-12-12T15:48:09Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > I just find PDA disgusting, full stop, whatever the gender or orientation of the participants. I am a prude what can I say. Or I could still be harbouring trauma from that flight to Sydney sitting next to demonstratively affectionate couple. I’m with you, to a point. Not disgusting, but I tend to try and not look no matter who the couple are. So make it “ **Even more** uncomfortable than when at least one female is involved” … ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/86 "2012-12-12T15:50:20Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Wait. > I think I see where a failure to communicate is coming in. > > You keep saying that SSM is about “enjoyment,” despite also being “harmful.” We have gotten hung up on the “harmful” part. > > I am now wondering why you think marriage is about “enjoyment”? Marriage is about shared finances, legal rights and obligations, inheritance rights, and a hell of a lot of other things that you otherwise need a damn good lawyer to draw up individual contracts about (and even then somebody else’s lawyer might challenge any or all of those contracts). > > Is marriage, to you, mostly a social recognition that these two folks are having sex? (I do not recall a sexual activity test when we applied for a marriage license, but things may be different in another jurisdiction.) Since the OP is " For opponents of SSM, how do you react to seeing images/video of \*\*happy gay couples \*\*being married? " enjoyment is a given. Also is about their enjolyment at that moment, maybe Suzie will be an abusive bitch towards Hellen, but the OP wasn’t about that. > [@Anaamika](#): > > I wasn’t talking to you, for you, or about you. I know everyone else is jumping your shit in this thread. I am not and really couldn’t care less about your opinion, which you have every right to have. Sorry. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > Despite what you are saying, you have posted in a LOT of marriage threads, gender threads, etc, and made LOTS of posts in some of those threads. It’s not a “simple search” to just cull what your beliefs are from your posting history. So stop being condescending and coy and answer these people’s questions. > [@lorene](#): > > Or you could answer the fucking question. The thing is that I have no wish tio participate in any other “why do you think SSM is wrong” thread and if I explain that I, say, think SSM is wrong because peaches are not blue, then the very interestin gthread I wanting to be in turn into another thoroughly unproductive wreck. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/87 "2012-12-12T15:52:31Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Could it be that you’re just not used to it? In the past year I’ve spent a lot of time around gays, straights, bis, and people for whom gender identity is a meaningless concept. I’ve seen it all, and it’s really no big deal to me anymore. It’s all just people loving one another. Definitely could be. I don’t really try to explain it to myself – I **know** it’s not a fair reaction on my part, but since I don’t let it influence my opinion of their right to act as they will, it’s not really all that relevant. I pretty much see it the same as my complete aversion to watching people making fools of themselves on Reality TV… or being drunk (on foot!) in public. No skin off my nose, more power to them, but you can’t force me to watch it, either 🙂 The difference of course being that nobody is seriously thinking of outlawing Reality shows ☹ ETA: I don’t think being Gay is the same as being an idiot. Being gay is completely OK. No score assigned to the various public displays 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/88 "2012-12-12T16:12:16Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > The thing is that I have no wish tio participate in any other “why do you think SSM is wrong” thread and if I explain that I, say, think SSM is wrong because peaches are not blue, then the very interestin gthread I wanting to be in turn into another thoroughly unproductive wreck. Honestly, I was really surprised that anyone who actually opposes gay marriage came forward in this thread. I expected that, as usually happens in this sort of thread on the Dope, it would just be full of gay right advocates speculating about what they think gay opponents would say and in the process showing their contempt/lack of understanding of their opponents. I give you credit for coming forward to give an honest reply even though I’m sure you knew it wouldn’t be popular. That makes the thread a lot more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/89 "2012-12-12T16:17:32Z")
I don’t know why **Ají de Gallina** is being so coy. I’ve tried searching his posts and all I see is that he’s a Catholic and that’s why he’s opposed to SSM. Because the Church says so is his only reason. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/90 "2012-12-12T16:19:53Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I don’t know why **Ají de Gallina** is being so coy. I’ve tried searching his posts and all I see is that he’s a Catholic and that’s why he’s opposed to SSM. Because the Church says so is his only reason. He (she?) already explained it. It would be derailing the thread that he (she?) really loves to explain his thinking on the answer he (she?) originally gave. Simple logic, see? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/91 "2012-12-12T16:22:08Z")
I don’t really see how, “It makes me uncomfortable.” makes the thread more interesting but we can try it your way for a while. lavenderviolet, what aspect of the anti-marriage equality movement do I not understand as opposed to actively reject? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/92 "2012-12-12T16:31:44Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I don’t know why **Ají de Gallina** is being so coy. I’ve tried searching his posts and all I see is that he’s a Catholic and that’s why he’s opposed to SSM. Because the Church says so is his only reason. Oh, that’s understandable then. I encourage him not to have a same-sex marriage, and I pray he didn’t eat any meat on Fridays back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/93 "2012-12-12T16:39:17Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > Does that make you want to outlaw marriage? If you do that, I would not complain. After all, the three life landmarks are Birth, Marriage and Death and after marriage there is only death. On a more seriously note:rolleyes:. Stop with the _Reductio ad absurdum_. I would probably oppose gay marriage even if I was all for PDA, my opinion regarding PDA is independent of any other opinion. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/94 "2012-12-12T16:40:09Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I don’t know why **Ají de Gallina** is being so coy. I’ve tried searching his posts and all I see is that he’s a Catholic and that’s why he’s opposed to SSM. Because the Church says so is his only reason. And that’s fine, but it still doesn’t answer the question of _how is this harmful_? It answers _why do you think it is wrong_? But \*who is being harmed, in what way, and by what means \*are what I was hoping the poster would explain. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/95 "2012-12-12T16:46:23Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I hate weddings and I probably never want to get married. But I’ve been looking at the pics from same sex weddings here in WA and feeling so warm and fuzzy. Turns out it’s only straight weddings I hate. When I start hating gay weddings too, I’ll know we’ve arrived. I have no problem with weddings. Been to bad, good and great ones. It’s marriage I can’t stand. Or really the whole legal stink cloud that surrounds it. I would happily wear a ring to show my love for my girlfriend. I am not going to join her corporation. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/96 "2012-12-12T17:18:28Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > Honestly, I was really surprised that anyone who actually opposes gay marriage came forward in this thread. I expected that, as usually happens in this sort of thread on the Dope, it would just be full of gay right advocates speculating about what they think gay opponents would say and in the process showing their contempt/lack of understanding of their opponents. I give you credit for coming forward to give an honest reply even though I’m sure you knew it wouldn’t be popular. That makes the thread a lot more interesting. Thanks. it is a very nice OP, with , unfortunantley, not many antiSSM people participating. > [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I don’t know why **Ají de Gallina** is being so coy. I’ve tried searching his posts and all I see is that he’s a Catholic and that’s why he’s opposed to SSM. Because the Church says so is his only reason. It isn’t my only reason. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > He (she?) already explained it. It would be derailing the thread that he (she?) really loves to explain his thinking on the answer he (she?) originally gave. Simple logic, see? It’s a he. The OP asks a very nice question and a narrowly focused one at that. The SDMB is filled to the brim with good ol’ SSM threads. > [@DrFidelius](#): > > Oh, that’s understandable then. I encourage him not to have a same-sex marriage, and I pray he didn’t eat any meat on Fridays back in the day. Thanks, not that I needed to bwe reminded of my own beliefs, but still thanks. > [@lorene](#): > > And that’s fine, but it still doesn’t answer the question of _how is this harmful_? It answers _why do you think it is wrong_? > > But \*who is being harmed, in what way, and by what means \*are what I was hoping the poster would explain. The search button is your friend. I will assure you, however, that you will find all my reasons and arguments unconvincing at best and ridiculously bigoted at worst. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/97 "2012-12-12T17:18:31Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > And that’s fine, but it still doesn’t answer the question of _how is this harmful_? It answers _why do you think it is wrong_? > > But \*who is being harmed, in what way, and by what means \*are what I was hoping the poster would explain. It is harmful - to _them_. It’s harmful because they continue to insist gay marriage is harmful when it isn’t, and when more and more people _see_ that it isn’t. It’s harmful to them because their numbers are dwindling, the world is changing around them and they’re finding themselves more and more isolated in their antiquated belief. That’s the harm that isn’t being described, for fairly obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/98 "2012-12-12T17:26:29Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > It is harmful - to _them_. It’s harmful because they continue to insist gay marriage is harmful when it isn’t, and when more and more people _see_ that it isn’t. It’s harmful to them because their numbers are dwindling, the world is changing around them and they’re finding themselves more and more isolated in their antiquated belief. > > That’s the harm that isn’t being described, for fairly obvious reasons. It isn’t. you’s love for it to be true because it’s makes it easier to minimize your opponents. It ain’t, though. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/99 "2012-12-12T17:28:53Z")
If anyone’s minimized you in this thread, it’s you. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602/100 "2012-12-12T17:36:50Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If anyone’s minimized you in this thread, it’s you. Thank you. Apparently answering the OP minimizes a thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-opponents-of-ssm-how-do-you-react-to-seeing-images-video-of-happy-gay-couples-being-married/643602.md?page=6)