# For Parents of Adults Who Still Live at Home **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 26, 2010, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787 "2010-05-26T02:51:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/61 "2010-05-26T20:44:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > So, her cunning plan worked. 😃 Well, that had pretty much been my plan anyway. It took maybe 6 months of full-time earnings (and not fabulously high ones, either - I was working an entry-level nonprofit job) for me to develop a savings cushion, etc. so I could pay off my student loans and afford rent, buy a few things to furnish the apartment, etc. Believe you me, I was not dawdling! ---
**Author:** ![seanchai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@seanchai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seanchai)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/62 "2010-05-27T01:17:12Z")
When my daughter got her first full time job, I charged her rent. Same with my son. [AND they did chores because they said they were adults and wanted to be treated as such]. I didn’t use their money unless I HAD to - when she got married, she received a fat cheque she was not expecting. Son, bless his heart! went through his (rent) money with such schemes as practicing leaping over the sofa back to land heavily and break the springs, putting food on to cook and then going to bed so the food would burn and wreck the pot, and many other nifty tricks it would take too long to enumerate. He totally understands where his money went, and why he did not get a lump sum. an seanchai ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/63 "2010-05-27T01:40:45Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > She’s angry with me right now because her money is tight but I won’t just let this pay period slide. Perhaps I missed it, but tight from what? She’s working full time, and ~25% of her pay (net? gross?) is going to you all. This presumably covers necessaries such as roof/bed and basic nutritional needs. Cars can be had for cheap. Is the remainder getting chewed up by health care or tuition or something? Money is not “tight” if you entertain it away. I’m all for investing in family. I received support similar to what **anu-la1979** received, and I think my family, as a whole, benefits from this.\* If she is truly struggling, then accepting her money may be holding her back; it looks like **Eva Luna** could have gotten stabilized and out much quicker had there been some more parental support. But if she’s not working towards some goal and merely wants more disposable party money, then I don’t see how you would be helping her by making things financially tighter on your end. \*I am currently in a situation that allows me to support a family member who is in a tight spot. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/64 "2010-05-27T01:44:38Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > I have to agree with everything **anu-la1979** has posted. > > I don’t see the value of charging rent to teach someone adult responsibility unless there is some evidence that the person won’t be a responsible adult. If your child is living with you because he somehow lost his money because he wasn’t responsible, then I think charging him would be a fair strategy. But if he just needs to a place to stay because grad school is too expensive, or he is fresh out of college looking for a job, then having him pay rent can be a burden. It might even keep him from moving out faster because most of his money is going to help his parents. > > That said, it’s fair to charge your kids if you really need the money. When I started working summers at 14 my parents did not have a lot of money so I was asked to buy things that could be used by the whole family. I bought a TV and a PC using the money I earned from two summers (I didn’t make that much). When I turned 16 my parents stopped asking me for anything because by then their financial situation was very stable. > > I live at home now because I’m going to law school. I don’t have a source of income, so if my parents wanted money then I would just have to take out more loans to pay them. Or I would have to work and go to law school at the same time, which can be terribly disruptive. I guess that can teach me more about responsibility, but so could living a couple of months in Nigeria. > > Sometimes “lessons” aren’t really warranted, and any extra money a young adult has to spend to get while getting on her feet can be a burden toward reaching that goal. But \*\*Rushgeekgirl’s \*\* daughter isn’t a law school student with no source of income. Nor is my daughter. Nor was I when I moved back in with my parents. In this case we’re talking about adults with full-time jobs. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/65 "2010-05-27T01:59:49Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Perhaps I missed it, but tight from what? She’s working full time, and ~25% of her pay (net? gross?) is going to you all. This presumably covers necessaries such as roof/bed and basic nutritional needs. Cars can be had for cheap. Is the remainder getting chewed up by health care or tuition or something? Money is not “tight” if you entertain it away. > I’m all for investing in family. I received support similar to what **anu-la1979** received, and I think my family, as a whole, benefits from this.\* If she is truly struggling, then accepting her money may be holding her back; it looks like **Eva Luna** could have gotten stabilized and out much quicker had there been some more parental support. But if she’s not working towards some goal and merely wants more disposable party money, then I don’t see how you would be helping her by making things financially tighter on your end. > > \*I am currently in a situation that allows me to support a family member who is in a tight spot. Her money is tight because she bought a car. She has a cell phone bill, a dance class she pays for, and the internet. I don’t think she realized how much it all came up to until she lost that chunk of change she’d been saving for the car. Before if she had an emergency she’d dip into that. When she got the car it took every penny, and before she knew it she was overdrawn. Covering those overdrafts took almost all her money. I understand because I made those mistakes when I was a kid. I told her she didn’t have to give me everything, just what she could this week. I feel that’s reasonable. I think. I don’t know. This is all so uncharted. We were always so close, maybe I’m ignoring the obvious need to let go and let her go. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/66 "2010-05-27T02:01:49Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > But \*\*Rushgeekgirl’s \*\* daughter isn’t a law school student with no source of income. Nor is my daughter. Nor was I when I moved back in with my parents. In this case we’re talking about adults with full-time jobs. What matters is what goals the parents want to achieve with their children moving back in. If they want them to get back on their feet financially then charging them rent won’t help. That doesn’t mean parents can’t charge rent (especially when they need money), but they shouldn’t do so thinking it would somehow help the child. ---
**Author:** ![glowacks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/glowacks/32/5548_2.png) [@glowacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glowacks)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/67 "2010-05-27T02:09:06Z")
I have a MA in Mathematics and am currently a full time home-maker for my widowed mother, who works more than 40 hours a week and has numerous hobbies (gardening, Corvettes) she’d rather participate in instead of cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing whatever else she’d have to do if lived by herself. While I’m doing what I can in looking for a job, I’m more focused on making sure my mother is able to live her life to the best extent she can. I basically pay for nothing; everything goes on a credit card my mother pays for. That’s not to say I have free reign to spend her money, I just don’t have to worry about money as long as I’m not spending it on things I don’t really need. It does mean that my social life is practically non-existent, but that sorta goes with the territory of being unemployed. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/68 "2010-05-27T02:40:03Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Her money is tight because she bought a car. She has a cell phone bill, a dance class she pays for, and the internet. I don’t think she realized how much it all came up to until she lost that chunk of change she’d been saving for the car. Before if she had an emergency she’d dip into that. When she got the car it took every penny, and before she knew it she was overdrawn. Covering those overdrafts took almost all her money. I understand because I made those mistakes when I was a kid. I told her she didn’t have to give me everything, just what she could this week. I feel that’s reasonable. I think. I don’t know. This is all so uncharted. We were always so close, maybe I’m ignoring the obvious need to let go and let her go. It looks like this is not a situation where life bit her in the ass, but instead it’s a miscalculation on her part. It happens to the best of us. If I screw up and spend too much money now then I don’t have as much to spend later. She isn’t in any danger, just inconvenienced. If she isn’t seriously working toward some important goal (I don’t recall if you’ve said) then you aren’t hindering her from anything important. She does impose a real cost on you (food, sleeping in LR), and she does benefit from your existing fixed costs (mortgage). It would be great if your situation were such that these costs were negligible, but it’s not. Maybe the car thing was less simple than it sounds. Maybe she really needs to have a reliable vehicle to avoid getting fired. Safer vehicles are good too. But if she needed some flexibility from you, the time to discuss that was _before_ the purchase. Afterward, “I screwed up; could you help me work through this so that I don’t incur even more unnecessary costs (like overdraft fees) but still get you the money **I agreed to pay you** in a less-than-ideal-but-still-sorta-timely-manner?” might have been a more appropriate response than “my friends don’t have to do this.” But what the heck to I know:) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/69 "2010-05-27T02:51:11Z")
We were expected to pay nominal rent as soon as we had to do our own tax returns. My parents attitude was if we were making money, we needed to have responsibilities, period. Cars or cell phones or anything else we wanted had to be budgeted out of what was left after paying them, not before. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/70 "2010-05-27T02:55:03Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I feel that’s reasonable. I think. I don’t know. This is all so uncharted. We were always so close, maybe I’m ignoring the obvious need to let go and let her go. I think you need to let go and let her go. For both your sakes. She may never become an adult otherwise. Plus six months on her own, she might be back, but with a more adult attitude. And you can be close again.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/71 "2010-05-27T03:04:49Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Speaking as a parent - My son, when he lived with me as an adult and wasn’t going to school - I charged him rent (couple hundred a month) but put the money in a separate account under my name. He knew about this. I told him the money was to be used as a house downpayment or he would get 3 years after he moved out no matter what. I’m not a parent, but I think this is a fantastic idea. ---
**Author:** ![pudytat72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@pudytat72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pudytat72)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/72 "2010-05-27T03:06:05Z")
Right now, she thinks her whole paycheck is money to have fun with. She needs to learn that you get to “play” with the money that is LEFT OVER after you pay rent, utilities, internet/cable, car, gas, food, savings for emergencies, retirement, future big needs. Golly, no money left over to “play” with? Or worse, not enough money to pay for everything you need? That’s the real world for many people. You live in that real world and have no money to “play” with. Her friends parents are not doing them any favors when they are not being taught how to live in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/73 "2010-05-27T03:12:14Z")
I don’t think it should be framed as a question of rent. They way I look at it is that every member of the household should be contributing what they can. Especially any adult member of the household. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/74 "2010-05-27T14:06:26Z")
Your daughter hasn’t grown up yet. It sounds like it’s time for you to give her a push in that direction. It’s a difficult, awkward phase, but things should get better once she matures a bit. We had a similar living set-up to yours. My grown son had the private bedroom while my partner and our two toddlers crowded together. We’ve always just scraped by, in a very expensive area of the country. My son didn’t have bills to pay other than his cell and car upkeep, so survival didn’t compel him to keep jobs and he didn’t want to stay in school. It was always a battle to have him contribute a little money or do a few chores. So one day I took him out of his room, put him in a little partitioned space with the toddlers and strict rules, and my partner and I took back our room. After a couple of months, my son happily moved to a cheaper part of the country with his girlfriend, where they got their own place. I missed him, but what a relief it was to have some space and to see him grow up a little. He and his girlfriend are back living with us, though. We moved to a slightly bigger place, and knowing they wanted to move back to this area, I told them that they could live with us if they worked and paid rent. I don’t know if this was a dumb move on my part. They do their own thing, and have the finished basement to themselves. They do have to use the main kitchen. The rent they pay covers the extra utilities, wear and tear, and certain grocery and household items that are used in common. What they pay is probably a quarter of what they’d pay out on their own, so sweet deal for them. Any time I hear a complaint, I just tell them they can always go get their own place. We do give up privacy and quiet and space to have them here. It’s a tiny house. I was hoping they’d both get decent jobs and soon save up enough for their own place, but my son hasn’t held a steady job, and they seem pretty entrenched. It doesn’t help that this area is so expensive. I left home as soon as I could. A couple of summers during college I went home to work and save up money. My parents were very restrictive, fussy, cranky, and territorial. My partner is Asian, and his family do things so differently. Everyone lives with each other with no “rent,” but everyone automatically contributes all the money they can without even thinking about it. When he lived at home, he’d just hand his mother his paycheck and she’d take out what she needed. And when he wasn’t working, he was taken care of. I think it’s a superior way of doing things, working to everyone’s benefit, but it’s not my way, culturally. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/75 "2010-05-27T14:19:24Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > As I have mentioned elsewhere, I have lived in the same house since I was born. My father died when I was 29. After I got my first job at 21, I started paying for all the utilities and groceries, though I never paid rent. I did all the laundry, cooking, and cleaning. When I was a student, I paid for nothing. None of this was ever discussed; it just was the way it turned out. I was in similar circumstances. My mother’s rule: If I was working, I paid board. When I was PT, I’d give her roughly $50-60/week. FT, minimum $150. She used my money to pay for groceries and put the extra toward a household bill – electric, heat, etc. Sometimes, though – especially when I was PT and my hours had been cut – she’d let the board slide for a week or two. She never mentioned paying it at a later date, but I always did. I was responsible for my own bills. I did most of the chores. If I were a mother with an adult child, I’d probably do the same. If my child were unemployed, I wouldn’t expect them to pay board, but I’d expect them to help around the house. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/76 "2010-05-27T14:42:54Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I don’t know. I feel really hurt that she sees it as begging because I’ve always done everything, despite being just as bad off as we were when I was a kid, to make sure she has what she needs. There was never money for extras but I never let her go without. I feel like she is being ungrateful, and she thinks I’m a “leech”. She said hurtful things to me and I’m being a meanie for making her give me her money. > > Or at least that seems to be what has happened. > I thought I taught her better. Or maybe I really am a mooch? I really am clueless how normal families work. I have tried to write this a few times, but, basically I am agog at the complete lack of respect your daughter shows for you, and the, maybe even greater, lack of respect you show for yourself. How can you even begin to consider her as the reasonable one here? YOU’RE the mooch??? If a “friend” spoke to me in such a vicious way we would not be friends any longer. If she’s so very tired of your “leeching” and “begging” I’d invite her to find another place to stay. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/77 "2010-05-27T14:55:04Z")
[QUOTE=RushGeekGirl] What I’m really wanting is for her to take responsibility for herself. She needs to learn that bills must be paid. She thinks if she overspends she shouldn’t have to pay her share here. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=RushGeekGirl] I told her she didn’t have to give me everything, just what she could this week [/QUOTE] I think you need to decide which one of these things you believe and can stand behind, because you are now sending very mixed messages. Living with you has enabled her to purchase a car, perhaps more car than she can afford. Letting her, ‘pay whatever she can’, because she’s overextended, by the car, would seem to be in conflict with, ‘if she overspends she shouldn’t have to pay her share here.’ She’s working you, in my opinion. She’s making you feel guilty that you’re wanting money from her, when you know she’s overextended, (by her own doing, mind), when you clearly have funds for perks such as beer? Think hard about subsidizing a lifestyle she feels entitled to, without being able to afford. (cell phone, car, rent, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/78 "2010-05-27T15:07:28Z")
I am fairly certain that if I had made any of the comments your daughter made to you to my parents, that there would be no problem to solve…because I would be a dead woman. Seriously, she has a full time job and can’t contribute? What’s up with that? I lived at home twice after I was out of college. The first time was when I was straight out. It was for four months and I was employed full time but I was trying to get on my feet (my parents live in the 'burbs and my job was no accessibly by transit ergo, I needed to buy and fund a car). However, I was expected to take care of all the things I did in high school and college (any personal products, some of my food). There was also an understanding that this was to be short term (turned out to be four months since I had to find a suitable roommate, couldn’t afford to live on my own). They let me stay there while contributing basically nothing since I had worked since I was 14 (I usually had three part time jobs during the school year and worked full time in the summers) so that I could go to college and come out with no debt. They saw that and wanted to make sure I maintained that no debt status. My sister, who had not gone to college and was working full time at a coffee shop was pressed to contribute unless she decided to go back to school. (She eventually got a better job and moved out.) My point is that every child is different. If it is not a short term situation and not one that it seems like you all can live with, you need to have a come to Jesus meeting and come up with something that does. It is your home (all of you). She needs to contribute. I would suggest more than just the money. She needs to live there with you (help with chores, tell you when she will be around for meals, help out with the 5 year old). And, come on, take your bedroom back. No way that the people paying the lion’s share of the housing should be sleeping in the living room. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/79 "2010-05-27T15:14:54Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I have tried to write this a few times, but, basically I am agog at the complete lack of respect your daughter shows for you, and the, maybe even greater, lack of respect you show for yourself. How can you even begin to consider her as the reasonable one here? YOU’RE the mooch??? If a “friend” spoke to me in such a vicious way we would not be friends any longer. > > If she’s so very tired of your “leeching” and “begging” I’d invite her to find another place to stay. Thank you. I think I really just needed to hear that. I have always prided myself on my daughter and I being more like friends. I guess I learned my lesson there. I was really young when I had her and it was just us alone for so long I think my biggest problem is I’ve always thought she was just such an awesome person, the way she’s changed is about killing me. I need to grow up myself and just let her go. She isn’t really very much of a friend, but I feel like that’s my fault. I made her like this. Guess the thread can be closed. Looks like it’s settled. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787/80 "2010-05-27T15:22:28Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > I am fairly certain that if I had made any of the comments your daughter made to you to my parents, that there would be no problem to solve…because I would be a dead woman. No kidding. Dead. In the ground. My mom would probably hire a voodoo queen to bring me back from the dead just so she could kill me again!! :eek: Ahem - as to how things were when I was a wee lass - when I was going to school I paid no rent. When I finished school I paid $800/month (about twice what a rent for a one room appartment locally was) to include my rent, food, car insurance, etc. It was about 1/2 of my monthly take home pay (this was a LOOOOOONG time ago). At the end of about a year, my dad handed me $10,000 to contribute to the downpayment of my home which I was in the process of buying - the $10,000 was all the $800 I had paid him which he had stashed. His logic, if you’re interested, is that he would charge me what it would reasonably cost me to live on my own so I would get used to the payment. Then when I was moving out, he gave me the $$ back for the down payment. Personally, I think his plan worked very well. As to your daughter - well, honestly she sounds like a spoiled brat. She seriously is dissing your SO for having a beer (which he purchased, I assume, with his paycheck which also pays the rent/mortgage, bills, etc) and she feels she should contribute nothing? Uh, yah. I don’t even know what to say about that. Oh wait - I do know: “Grrr, kids today!! Get off my lawn!!” etc. I think your daughter would benfit from a bit of a wake up call. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-parents-of-adults-who-still-live-at-home/540787.md?page=5)