# "For Sale - Dumbest Paint Horse Ever" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 28, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313 "2010-07-28T15:26:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/1 "2010-07-28T15:26:26Z")
[The most honest Craigslist ad ever](http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/grd/1866392272.html) > [@](#): > > (I am going to write this ad as honestly as possible, so forgive my bluntness please, but I want this guy to end up in the most suitable home possible for him.) > Rocky (APHA Name: Scenic Rocket Bar) is an 11 year old APHA registered gelding who is possibly the dumbest horse I’ve ever owned (through no fault of his own). Currently stands 15.3h (with an official stick, on concrete, this is not an eyeball estimate) and is essentially a golden retriever with hooves. His previous owner passed away due to brain cancer, and Rocky was his pasture pet, so he essentially never had to do anything except be loved on and stand around looking pretty for 10 years (which he is extremely good at). He has WONDERFUL ground manners, is a doll for the farrier and vet, and couldn’t be any sweeter, but under saddle, he’s dumb as a stone. There isn’t a mean bone in his body, but he genuinely needs to be taught to use his brain as he currently has the retention capabilities of a brick. He will lunge no problem, walk, trot, whoa, back, etc without a problem under saddle (runs into his canter, but its there), but you need to be very clear and basically treat him like a 3 year old since he tends to forget everything you taught him the day before. He’s just very reliant on his owner/rider for direction and instruction, and as I do only barrel racing & pole bending, I need a horse with something between his ears other than dust and cobwebs. He lives up to the phrase “Nice house, nobody home” and he’s a wonderful horse to have around the barn (no bad habits, easy to get along with, low man on the totem pole), but my horses have to be able to work for me, and asking him to run a pole pattern (with 12+ flying changes) is a monumental task that I think would end with him needing a psychotherapist. His ideal situation would be a teenager that wants her own (cheap), pretty gelding that will love on him and mess with him on a daily basis and eventually take him to 4H or open shows or make him into a playday horse. He is UTD on shots, worming, 2010 Coggins etc, had his teeth floated in May and had a Power Pac done at the same time. He IS low man on the totem pole (definitely a gentle giant) and the other horses pick on him (he would rather run away and go off by himself than hang with the herd), so he’s a little thin right now (compared to the pictures from Feb), but he’s gaining weight steadily. He has nice hard feet and will most likely never need shoes. Price on this guy is $600. That’s what I paid for him in Feb, with no vet work, etc, so I have a LOT more into him than that, but he’s doing nothing here except being a lawn ornament and while he does it very well, its not fitting into my program. > Phone calls only please, I can be reached anytime at (248) XXX-XXXX, please leave a voicemail if no answer. “Essentially a golden retriever with hooves”, “He lives up to the phrase “Nice house, nobody home””! LOL StG ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/2 "2010-07-28T16:09:45Z")
Aww - if I had horses I’d buy that guy. He sounds so sweet. ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/3 "2010-07-28T17:14:10Z")
Me too! I’ve never wanted a horse (I don’t get the love for horses) but I really want this horse. I hope he finds a very sweet, laid-back owner. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/4 "2010-07-28T17:20:40Z")
I have to give the seller credit, he does seem to be trying to find the right owner for this horse. And as a horse crazy kid, this would have been the ideal horse for me, because I’d love on him daily, and I’m sure he’d be fine with this. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/5 "2010-07-28T17:24:11Z")
Exactly - he sounds like my dumbass dog. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/6 "2010-07-28T17:33:55Z")
After having ridden horses that tried to bite me and scrape me off, Rocky sounds like a really nice horse. I hope he finds a new owner to love him and pet him. “…he currently has the retention capabilities of a brick” heh. I have a coworker like that. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/7 "2010-07-28T17:41:38Z")
I don’t need a work horse, and this guy is lovely and seems sweet, which is good enough for me. Hey, and I have $600. A horse will fit in a one bedroom apartment, right? ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/8 "2010-07-28T17:44:09Z")
If you pull up the ads and look at the pics, he’s a pretty boy. And you can’t over-rate sweetness. He’s in Michigan - I think **Shirley Ujest** needs to buy him for her kids. StG ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/9 "2010-07-28T17:46:36Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > A horse will fit in a one bedroom apartment, right? As long as you have a sleeper sofa, sure. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/10 "2010-07-28T17:49:39Z")
Ha! I just saw this same Craigslist post over at COTH. Hysterical. He sounds like a sweetheart, and I’d love to have a horse like him for my kids. Something sweet, well-behaved, and forgiving is priceless for kids. Although…he may not be so much as forgiving as completely forgetful, but hey! That works. The seller sounds like they’ve taken great care of him, and such an honest ad will help this boy find a great home. (My mare is sweet as can be and hasn’t a mean bone in her body, but she is ANYthing but dumb. I swear, she overthinks things to the point she stresses herself out. Hmm. I guess we have that in common.) ETA–I just saw his pics in the posted ad. He’s not a particularly well-made boy, but he is cute and has a gentle…or perhaps, dull…eye. Good boy! Now fetch me my slippers. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/11 "2010-07-28T17:56:10Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > ETA–I just saw his pics in the posted ad. He’s not a particularly well-made boy, but he is cute and has a gentle…or perhaps, dull…eye. Good boy! Now fetch me my slippers. Here, Master. _Holding two bananas_ ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/12 "2010-07-28T17:56:24Z")
**Ruffian** - You could ship him to California. Your kids need a horse, really badly. Even the baby. He’d probably sleep better if he had plenty of fresh air and manure. I didn’t know you were on COTH. I only found that board when the Marestare thread was going. It can be a frustrating place, and I like to browse more than I post. StG ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/13 "2010-07-28T17:58:08Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > > A horse will fit in a one bedroom apartment, right? > > As long as you have a sleeper sofa, sure. Oh, I didn’t know I had to buy a new couch. Never mind then. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/14 "2010-07-28T18:05:42Z")
He does sound cute. And it’s also sad and cute that the other horses pick on him and don’t let him play horse games. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/15 "2010-07-28T18:10:02Z")
Oh…oh…oh… _melts_ I WANT HIM! Crap, crap, crap… he sounds just perfect! Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/16 "2010-07-28T18:17:31Z")
**Fruedian Slit** - I can sort of imagine him being the big, slow kid kicking a rock around the playground because none of the other kids want to play with him. **PapSett** - Any chance you’re in a position to think about buying? There have to be cheap boarding facility there. At least it doesn’t sound like he’s headed to the kill pens or anything like that. StG ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/17 "2010-07-28T18:27:54Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > He does sound cute. And it’s also sad and cute that the other horses pick on him and don’t let him play horse games. You make it sound as if he has a glowing nose. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/18 "2010-07-28T18:39:41Z")
> [@Disheavel](#): > > > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > > He does sound cute. And it’s also sad and cute that the other horses pick on him and don’t let him play horse games. > > You make it sound as if he has a glowing nose. Well he really _should_ lay off the booze. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/19 "2010-07-28T18:40:20Z")
Aaaaahhh, he sounds like the best horse ever and he’s so cute in those pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Cinebar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Cinebar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinebar)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313/20 "2010-07-28T18:51:52Z")
Oh…I want him! I’ll bet he’d get along great with my pasture pets (goats). Anyone want to help get him here (Washington State)? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-sale-dumbest-paint-horse-ever/548313.md?page=2)