# For Single Straight Men Only--If the Average Woman in a Bar... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 10, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343 "2010-01-10T01:18:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/41 "2010-01-10T15:22:43Z")
Not single, so didn’t vote. As with others above … That behavior by the average woman is so out of the ordinary as to signal major alarm bells. So the answer is "no’ for me. Back in college and with some sort of stated connection, like she was from the same school, or dorm or whatever the answer would probably be yes even though I’d never seen her before. Now in a world where walk-up propositions like that are typical or nearly-so female behavior, the answer would be hell yes, every time. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/42 "2010-01-10T15:29:27Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > So single straight guys, the question is–if the average woman walked into a bar and walked right up to you and asked you to come home with her sex, would you say yes, no, or maybe? > > Assume that she is average in attractiveness and in all other aspects. How you define “average” is up to you, of course, but remember–this is woman is _average_ average. In other words, she’d score a 5 on the proverbial 1-10 scale. Depends _entirely_ on how she asks. I’m a total slut but I also get flustered easily, and I like at least a modicum of friendly communication established. Heck, the ones considerably _below_ average appearance could get me easily enough if they chat me up and then ask nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/43 "2010-01-10T15:32:14Z")
> [@Shakester](#): > > See, that’s the great big flaw in the poll - every guy in that situation would be looking for the scam. Delete the potential for scams and danger from the poll and you’ll see very different results > > … > > This poll is just another example of how little understanding most women have of the male experience. Did you read the OP? That’s not a flaw in the poll. This poll is specifically to discuss the assertion made by **Stoneburg** , so if there’s a flaw, it’s in his original statement. And the poll does not demonstrate how little understanding women have of the male experience. It demonstrates how little understanding MEN have of the FEMALE experience. See the quote in the OP. **Student Driver** hit on (ha!) some of the reasons I’m interested in this subject at all. I believe that this meme is ultimately destructive to both men and women. Thanks for your responses, everyone. p.s. **dbaFred** is not my sock puppet! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/44 "2010-01-10T15:38:17Z")
What’s the saying? Any club that would have my member… ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/45 "2010-01-10T15:47:55Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > Have a conversation, flirt a little, and so on, and yeah, a woman who is of average attractiveness could probably get sex if she really wanted to. Not in 80% of cases, but maybe over 50%. This is probably also true of men. The quote this thread is based on assumes a vast difference between how easy/difficult this is for men vs. women. In reality, there may be some difference, but I think **Stoneburg** greatly exaggerates it. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/46 "2010-01-10T16:01:12Z")
It sounds like most people who are saying no are doing it because the situation would be so out of the ordinary as to seem suspicious, which honestly kind of goes against the spirit of the question. Maybe you should have asked it differently, how about “would you say yes to no strings attached sex with a complete stranger (female, no tricks)”. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/47 "2010-01-10T16:03:22Z")
But the whole point is to test Stoneburg’s theory. > [@](#): > > Yes you can. Walk into an average bar and ask the first single, straight guy you encounter if he would like to come home with you for sex. I’d say there’s an above 80% that he will accept on the spot. If he doesn’t, he probably has a good reason. Nothing in there about conversation. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/48 "2010-01-10T16:11:42Z")
I guess Stoneburg did not consider the fact that most guys would assume its some kind of trick and would turn you down based on that idea rather than on whether they would actually agree to it or not if they thought it was a legit offer. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/49 "2010-01-10T16:17:41Z")
I had this sort of thing happen to me once, years ago: after some amount of flirty banter with an attractive woman, she said, “You know, you look familiar… Have I slept with you before?” It was a rather huge turn-off. Flattering, maybe, but I’m very much a “looking for a pair-bonding mate” type of person, and the implication of the question (that she has frequent, casual enough sexual encounters that she can’t keep them all straight in her head) first makes me think “she wouldn’t be serious about me”, and second makes me think of the odds of her being a VD vector. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/50 "2010-01-10T16:17:54Z")
> [@Shakester](#): > > See, that’s the great big flaw in the poll - every guy in that situation would be looking for the scam. Delete the potential for scams and danger from the poll and you’ll see very different results. I don’t see how this is a flaw, because in real life one would not be able to “delete the potential for scams and danger” when approached by a stranger offering to have sex. If it were possible to establish that the stranger was not in any way a threat and that sex with them would be totally risk-free, there would be a lot more _women_ willing to have sex with strangers. But that’s not the reality we’re living in. It isn’t even close. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/51 "2010-01-10T16:26:40Z")
[slight hijack] I’m married, so I can’t vote. I’d vote no if I could. I would hope, however, that any guy who would consider saying ‘yes’ would look [to this article](http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2194/is_n1_v62/ai_13794847/) about hotel crime, the come-on of which seems very close to the exact scenario described by the OP. Times are hard, some people are desperate, and there are documented cases of this occurring. [/slight hijack] ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/52 "2010-01-10T16:38:27Z")
Not single, didn’t vote. When I _was_ single, I’d go for it after five or ten minutes of flirting or conversation, but probably not if she walked right up and asked me if I wanted to bump uglies. I have standards, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/53 "2010-01-10T16:41:10Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Not that I don’t love all of your guts, because I do, but I wouldn’t think the responses of SDMB men to mirror the responses of actual men in an actual bar. You said the SDMB doesn’t have “real men”.😃 Even though I’m not single, and the real answer is of course “maybe”, I’m going to vote “yes”. Because while I would not automatically go home with an attractive woman who asked me to, I am philosophically ok with the idea (presumably as long as no alarm bells were raised and she didn’t seem totally drunk off her ass or something). Quite frankly I’m surprised by the inflated concerns that the woman is psychotic, trying to them or otherwise set them up or might be disease-ridden. How about the infinitely more likely scenario that she is simply a woman in a bar who is interested in having sex with you? Do men here have so low a self esteame and are so emotionally and socially crippled that scenario doesn’t even cross their mind? That said, a strange woman coming up to you in a bar and opening with “lets get the fuck out of here” is unusually forward and a bit jarring. But it’s not unheard of when people are drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/54 "2010-01-10T16:45:48Z")
I don’t like being approached with anything more forward than a warm smile. I would probably stumble for words, and decline. However, If I had my beer goggles on, and my inhibitions were on vacation, and she lived close by, I might partake. So, it’s 50/50 - sober, probably not. Intoxicated, quite possibly. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/55 "2010-01-10T17:02:55Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > You said the SDMB doesn’t have “real men”.😃 Correction: I said the SDMB doesn’t have any “actual” men. Seriously now, I have half a mind to walk around local bars asking strange men to sleep with me, and documenting their responses. I won’t, though, because I don’t want actually want to go home with any of them, and it’s pretty mean to lead a man on that way, then say, “Just kidding – I don’t want you. I just wanted to see what you were going to say.” ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/56 "2010-01-10T17:10:03Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Not that I don’t love all of your guts, because I do, but I wouldn’t think the responses of SDMB men to mirror the responses of actual men in an actual bar. > > I think this would be the reasoning of most men who decline, which makes sense to me. Why is a random woman asking you to sleep with her? What’s the catch? Is she winning a bet? Does she have the clap? What? Word. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/57 "2010-01-10T17:18:15Z")
Reciprocal thread for the ladies [is here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=547249). ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/58 "2010-01-10T17:28:02Z")
No, because I’d consider it certain that it was (in descending order of probability) - people I know playing a practical joke on me, or - the lady in question setting me up for being robbed or blackmailed, or - some media production setting me up candid camera style, or - the lady in question being insane (sorry, I am not that desperate) ---
**Author:** ![Headrush042](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Headrush042](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Headrush042)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/59 "2010-01-10T17:36:46Z")
No, and not maybe. Even if she were hot. I prefer my sex to be intimate and personal. No moral judgements, just my preference. I probably wouldn’t even take her number, instead. I don’t even have a problem with promiscuity, but the woman in question is assuming a stupid amount of risk with this behavior – either she’s crazy, an idiot, or a parasite (criminal intentions). No, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/60 "2010-01-10T17:45:12Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Quite frankly I’m surprised by the inflated concerns that the woman is psychotic, trying to them or otherwise set them up or might be disease-ridden. How about the infinitely more likely scenario that she is simply a woman in a bar who is interested in having sex with you? Do men here have so low a self esteame and are so emotionally and socially crippled that scenario doesn’t even cross their mind? It crosses my mind; it just strikes me as being highly unlikely. It has nothing to do with self esteem; I wouldn’t expect even a woman burning with lust for me to just walk up and ask; that’s just not normal in a woman in our culture. Or any culture that I know of. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343.md?page=4)