# For Single Straight Men Only--If the Average Woman in a Bar... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 10, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343 "2010-01-10T01:18:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/101 "2010-01-11T19:31:32Z")
Well, I voted “no/maybe”—mostly because a) irrespective of my gender, I’m a pretty shy and not terribly social person by nature. In the unlikely event that I was _in_ an average bar, the situation with the lady in question would be so far out of my orbit that I’d be too flustered and surprised to say anything but a polite “no, but thank you!” in stunned shock. And then b) I’d think it could be some kind of trick. Like she was crazy, diseased, planning to rob me, planning to steal a Kidney, or slip me a mickey and I’d wake up on a tramp steamer bound for Rura Penthe. I don’t know if that says more about gender roles in society, the “culture of fear,” or me, personally. As a matter of fact, there was a “Best Case Scenario” parody book a few years ago—written in the wake of those “Worst Case Scenario” emergency guides that came out—that had a set of instructions for a similar “a beautiful woman approaches you and offers to have immediate, no-strings-attached sex with you.” The scenario immediately tells you to assume it’s some kind of horrible trick, and advises you to get out of the building as soon as possible, including instructions on how to pop out a plate glass window and climb to safety along a window ledge or window washer rail, IIRC. I _think_ it assumed the second person “you” was male. Though as others have noted, making a few alterations to the initial scenario might make all the difference. Like taking out the possibility of the woman being a psycho with Super AIDS™, or some such. And, honestly, if the average woman looked like, say, [this](http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1483), and the “bar” was some utterly geeky convention—y’know, some setting where I _would_ feel comfortable—I’d probably be a lot more amiable to the whole setup. You know, as a matter of fact, I think there was actually a scientific study done on this very subject awhile back—I think I saw it on one of those Desmond Morris Discovery channel documentaries. I think most of the unwitting male test subjects said “sure!” as a matter of fact. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/102 "2010-01-11T21:26:52Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > And, honestly, if the average woman looked like, say, [this](http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1483), and the “bar” was some utterly geeky convention—y’know, some setting where I _would_ feel comfortable—I’d probably be a lot more amiable to the whole setup. I dunno man. She looks awfully young and, frankly, pink eyes would freak me right out. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/103 "2010-01-11T22:04:41Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I dunno man. She looks awfully young and, frankly, pink eyes would freak me right out. She looks like she should be named Damiena. “Why…why do you have glowing pink eyes?” “Well, duh, I’m a girl! If I were a boy they’d be red, of course!” ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/104 "2010-01-11T23:14:38Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Well, I voted “no/maybe”—mostly because a) irrespective of my gender, I’m a pretty shy and not terribly social person by nature. In the unlikely event that I was _in_ an average bar, the situation with the lady in question would be so far out of my orbit that I’d be too flustered and surprised to say anything but a polite “no, but thank you!” in stunned shock. And then b) I’d think it could be some kind of trick. Like she was crazy, diseased, planning to rob me, planning to steal a Kidney, or slip me a mickey and I’d wake up on a tramp steamer bound for Rura Penthe. I don’t know if that says more about gender roles in society, the “culture of fear,” or me, personally Precisely my attitude, more precisely described than I could put it myself, thanks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Kapowzler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Super\_Kapowzler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Kapowzler)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/105 "2010-01-11T23:50:38Z")
The problem for me is the word “average”, when 60% of the female population is overweight/fat/obese. I am not attracted to fat. If you were to re-phrase and say: would a strange woman you found attractive asked… ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/106 "2010-01-12T00:25:03Z")
> [@Super\_Kapowzler](#): > > The problem for me is the word “average”, when 60% of the female population is overweight/fat/obese. I am not attracted to fat. > > If you were to re-phrase and say: would a strange woman you found attractive asked… Ah, but the point is that she isn’t particularly attractive. She’s average. And if average is fat, and you’re not attracted to heavy women, then you can assume that the “average” woman is at least somewhat unattractive to you. ETA: To put it another way–You define your own average here, soif when you think “average” you think “too fat for my tastes,” well, then I guess your answer would be “no or maybe.” ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/107 "2010-01-12T01:42:14Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I dunno man. She looks awfully young and, frankly, pink eyes would freak me right out. Personally, I’d be more concerned about the lack of fingers. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/108 "2010-01-12T04:19:02Z")
> [@Shakester](#): > > The thing that nobody has mentioned yet is that we _have_ a control group in real life: gay men. Old thread re this topic [Is being gay a guarantee that you’ll always get some kind of action](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=144257)? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/109 "2010-01-12T05:10:17Z")
I didn’t see the Hell yes button on the voting. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343/110 "2010-01-13T16:24:46Z")
Y’know, I woder if the reference statement had been that a man was “80% likelier” to go for it upon being approached, then though equally unverifiable fewer people would make such a big deal of its improbability. Because it would still account for the approach mostly failing. Once you start talking that about the “spirit” of the notion of the aggressive female, then I’d lean in the direction of **AHunter3** ’s answer, in the sense that I’d be greatly pleased at a hookup in which the woman honestly takes the initiative and is open about her intentions (and SO relieved at being spared all the mind-reading and signals-decryption usually expected from the male side of the equation!), but still somebody has to work it, at least some sort of protocol be observed. So, my No or Maybe is NO as literally proposed; Maybe with specific additional conditions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-single-straight-men-only-if-the-average-woman-in-a-bar/524343.md?page=5)