# For the Doper Men - Blow jobs: good vs. bad **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872 "2009-10-07T00:35:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/21 "2009-10-07T05:08:59Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > 97% of all blowjobs are really handjobs with a mouth attached. > > ..but those other 3% make the proposition all worthwhile. I disagree. In my experience, a good blow job is about 50% hand job if anything is going to get finished. I could care less about getting deep throated. And to reply to the thread, yes there are bad ones. Zero enthusiasm definitely makes for a bad one. I’d take clueless-yet-enthusiastic any day over an un-enthused partner. I’ve heard tales of teeth, chaffing, and braces - so I imagine \*really \*bad is possible too. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/22 "2009-10-07T06:14:29Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Plus, it’s really hot when you swallow. Why? ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/23 "2009-10-07T06:40:21Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > Why? Lots of reasons, not all of which apply to all men. Here’s a sample list: 1. It’s a little bit kinky, kinky is almost always a plus. 2. It means that you kept the blow job going throughout the orgasm, not stopping at the end to duck. 3. It means you didn’t run to the bathroom or grab a kleenex to spit while we laid there reeling. 4. It means you don’t think we’re “gross”, how well would women react if a guy said he didn’t want any of her wet stuff in or near his mouth? 5. It means you’re probably into sex in general, not just going along to keep up happy. 6. When we fantasize about head it usually ends that way, you doing it fulfills that. 7. It’s cleaner and convenient, no cleaning up or evidence to worry about. 8. It means that quickie BJs are on the table since we don’t have to worry about #7, it opens up dangerous locations. 9. Most guys feel proud when they make a girl come, we hope you feel the same way about us. It’s tough to imagine that when you treat come like bio-hazard. 10. Porn and Erotica always feature the climax prominently. Few guys are interested in the tacky stereotypical money shot/facial which is done because some porn stars don’t want to swallow and it costs more. We want the climax to be prominently featured in the bedroom too, and you swallowing makes it better than porn (or like particularly good porn). 11. We have our fantasies, sometimes the girl is submissive and does anything we want. In some we are submissive and she does anything she want with us. Neither scenario is complimented by spitting, with a few specific exceptions. 12. We come for more than a second, it lasts a while, and if you’re swallowing you’re still working our nobs throughout. That means we come harder and longer and all the points above sparkle in our short circuiting brains while we do. 13. Long story short, if you’re gonna do something do it right, and finish the job. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/24 "2009-10-07T06:57:10Z")
In my experience. Bad blow jobs (thankfully minimal): 1. Use of teeth (and anger when gently asked not to). 2. A “technique” that involved stopping every third stroke, licking, making (freaky) eye contact, thus not allowing any real build-up to climax. Mediocre (the majority): 1. Too much hand, not enough mouth. 2. Gagging and/or spitting. Not your fault, but I’m just saying it like it is. Best (somewhat rare): No hand at all used: deep throat with swallowing (see point 12 above). A mindblowing experience that leaves one flapping around like a fish washed up on the shores of Lake Ecstacy. ---
**Author:** ![Shig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Shig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shig)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/25 "2009-10-07T09:33:14Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > In my experience. > > Bad blow jobs (thankfully minimal): 1. Use of teeth (and anger when gently asked not to). 2. A “technique” that involved stopping every third stroke, licking, making (freaky) eye contact, thus not allowing any real build-up to climax. > > Mediocre (the majority): 1. Too much hand, not enough mouth. 2. Gagging and/or spitting. Not your fault, but I’m just saying it like it is. > > Best (somewhat rare): No hand at all used: deep throat with swallowing (see point 12 above). A mindblowing experience that leaves one flapping around like a fish washed up on the shores of Lake Ecstacy. We have different opinions about “best”. The deepthroat thing doesn’t really do much for meI prefer th elips to be on a more sensitive area than near the base. I like a little bit of hand too. All about pacing. I also love teasing. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/26 "2009-10-07T13:40:21Z")
-If she can deep throat me, no hand is necessary. If she can’t, it is. -Enthusiasm trumps talent. Know your limitations and come up with a workaround. -Make me think you want nothing more than to be between my legs. Don’t rush it. -Saliva is your friend (and mine). -I’m more than a shaft. It’s a three-piece set, so get to know the rest of the equipment. -Once I start coming/just finish coming, go easy on the head. It’s extremely sensitive and if you overdo it at that moment, you’ll short circuit the orgasm. -Tell me how much you’re enjoying it. Even better, use your free hand to take care of yourself. It never fails. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/27 "2009-10-07T13:40:28Z")
> [@Shig](#): > > After many years and multiple partners and many bad to mediocre to _sort of_ good BJ’s, I now have a good friend that knows what’s going on! Sometimes things happen between us, and it was just sex at first. Then she went down on me one day, and it’s become quite a tradition with us. She loves my reaction. She’ll do it for over 30 minutes… teasing, taking little breaks, knowing exactly when to do what and when to change it up. She builds it up like crazy and I don’t even want to cum. I want it to last forever. She claims she’s never done it like with me before but she knows by my reactions and breathing just what to do to make it incredible. She talks sometimes while doing it and says some good stuff… she decides when I get to “finish” and even if I’m way relaxed and don’t want to yet, she’ll tell me that she doesn’t care if I want to or not. Sometimes she’ll stick her tongue out and slap me against it a few times and then just wraps around the head and does this swirling motion with her head while her tongue goes crazy. Makes me convulse. It’s insane. _That_ is a tradition I could get behind. Er… in front of. ---
**Author:** ![Shig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Shig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shig)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/28 "2009-10-07T13:50:49Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > _That_ is a tradition I could get behind. Er… in front of. Oh damn, forgot about this post. Get back over to the football threads, Bright! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/29 "2009-10-07T14:10:43Z")
:: quietly taking notes :: Thanks particularly for the note about sensitivity and not short-circuiting the best part, **Corkboard**. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/30 "2009-10-07T14:19:34Z")
There is certainly such a thing as a bad blowjob. I once knew a gal who yanked and tugged on my poor wang like she was trying to get milk from a steel pipe. There was very little mouth pressure, entirely too much saliva and she didn’t make much of an effort to use her lips to cover her teeth. After just a few minutes I had to shout, “Whooa! Stop! You are…you’re just turning me on _too much_! It’s soooooo _good_ I just can take anymore!” and let the next guy she was with tell her she sucked at sucking. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/31 "2009-10-07T14:21:08Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > :: quietly taking notes :: > > Thanks particularly for the note about sensitivity and not short-circuiting the best part, **Corkboard**. All good advice except the deep throat bit (although obviously that works for him). I’d say most of us do not enjoy being deep throated, except as a novelty. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/32 "2009-10-07T15:03:28Z")
Yea deep throating feels kind of bland. I had a chick try that last winter. Insisted on it. Wouldn’t listen when I told her tongue felt so much better. Like send shivers down my body, omg omg ima bust!, better. Never got off from her attempts, ended up just stroking myself off. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/33 "2009-10-07T15:23:10Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Lots of reasons, not all of which apply to all men. Here’s a sample list: > > (Excellent list deleted) I think you got most of the reasons. The main one is this: Men don’t actually maximize their own orgasms when masturbating. A lot of it has to do with the furtive circumstances of their early experiences doing so. They were usually worried that someone would catch them. So they were compelled to do it, but also tried to get it over quickly…and avoid making too much noise when doing so. This generally results in not maximizing their own pleasure. But a good blow job, especially one that ends up in someone’s mouth, frees a guy from that guilt over feeling pleasure. All of my most intense orgasms have been in my wife’s mouth (she’s the only woman to ever care enough to get me off orally). I can lie back and luxuriate in an intense level of pleasure that I can never produce by my own hand. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/34 "2009-10-07T15:31:04Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > Bad = Teeth > Good = Eye Contact I find the woman tends to get upset after eye contact. :D8=:o Also don’t try to kiss me afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/35 "2009-10-07T15:40:28Z")
[It’s gotta be dry.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hm7pp_JFOs) ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/36 "2009-10-07T15:44:52Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Best (somewhat rare): No hand at all used: deep throat with swallowing (see point 12 above). A mindblowing experience that leaves one flapping around like a fish washed up on the shores of Lake Ecstacy. > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I’d say most of us do not enjoy being deep throated, except as a novelty. > [@The Tao's Revenge](#): > > Wouldn’t listen when I told her tongue felt so much better. Obviously I’m not a guy, but I thought it’s worth pointing out that the responses here echo my experience, which is that nothing works for all guys. Some guys love the deep throat thing, some guys are indifferent. Some guys love when you play with their balls, some guys find it to be overstimulating. Some guys like lots of tongue, some guys like plenty of hand, and there’s no single technique that’s going to transport every guy to HappyLand. Except maybe for the swallowing thing. Never met anyone who didn’t like that. 🙂 It’s way more important to pay attention to how a guy actually reacts to what you’re doing than it is to have no gag reflex or a prehensile tongue. Enthusiasm is nice, but it should be enthusiasm for this particular guy, not enthusiasm to prove that you’re the Queen of All Blowjobs. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/37 "2009-10-07T15:51:32Z")
Although, to be fair, when you’re giving a blowjob, as far as the other party is concerned you are Queen Of All You Survey. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/38 "2009-10-07T15:59:08Z")
Yup, and he’s just really hoping you’re a wise and benevolent sovereign. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/39 "2009-10-07T16:16:51Z")
Despotic tyrant is okay too. Just make with the suckin’. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/40 "2009-10-07T16:20:16Z")
All good stuff in this thread, especially this: > [@DianaG](#): > > Enthusiasm is nice, but it should be enthusiasm for this particular guy, not enthusiasm to prove that you’re the Queen of All Blowjobs. One thing not really mentioned, though, is when there is just not enough stimulation. Simply being in a woman’s mouth doesn’t do all that much for me. There has to be some motion and some pressure. I’ve been with some women Where I’d almost have to ask if she was actually doing anything to me at all. With one woman it was almost like she was afraid of breaking me. After maybe 30 seconds of this “stimulation”, she got really upset that she couldn’t please me. We’re talking crying into my pillow for an hour upset. No, I didn’t date her for long. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872.md?page=3)