# For the Doper Men - Blow jobs: good vs. bad **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872 "2009-10-07T00:35:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/61 "2009-10-07T21:41:15Z")
I think guys assume that most girls hate giving blow jobs; I’m sure some do but I truly don’t. It’s not my absolute favorite sexual activity, but it’s not unpleasant, and for what I lack in porn skills I try to make up for in enthusiasm. My concerns: 1. How the hell DO you keep teeth out of it? In case y’all haven’t noticed, we have teeth on both our upper and lower jaws. I use my tongue to cover my lower teeth, but it’s extremely hard not to scrape the penis with the upper teeth. I’ve got this large thing in my mouth, and the longer the act goes the more tired my jaw gets, which leads to an increased risk of hurting him with my teeth. 2. Come. I’ll swallow but only if it tastes okay. A couple of my exes tasted so bad that I had to spit it out. I mean, Jesus. 3. I can’t deep throat, it triggers my gag reflex. I have to warn guys not to grab my head and slam it down on their cock, and sometimes I’ve had to stop in the middle of the blow job to remind them a little angrily. Trust me, it will not end happily. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/62 "2009-10-07T22:22:57Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Fortuitously, if you combine the two you get **Vinyl Turnip** ’s open fantasy. As though the two things bumped into each by accident, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/63 "2009-10-07T22:42:13Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > 1. How the hell DO you keep teeth out of it? In case y’all haven’t noticed, we have teeth on both our upper and lower jaws. I use my tongue to cover my lower teeth, but it’s extremely hard not to scrape the penis with the upper teeth. I’ve got this large thing in my mouth, and the longer the act goes the more tired my jaw gets, which leads to an increased risk of hurting him with my teeth. I think you’ll have to ask another woman or gay man about that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/64 "2009-10-07T23:15:25Z")
> [@davekhps](#): > > GREAT thread. FANTASTIC question. Well, you can only explain ‘do it here, not there, and this way’ just so many times before it just becomes a couple-fight subject. So you just say: “No…Honey…no. I’m just really in the mood to make love to you now…” Also, its very important to use ‘the earnest look’. Egos are very fragile at this point. If you can convince her to go doggy-style, then you won’t have to hold the expression as long. ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/65 "2009-10-07T23:42:57Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > 1. How the hell DO you keep teeth out of it? In case y’all haven’t noticed, we have teeth on both our upper and lower jaws. I use my tongue to cover my lower teeth, but it’s extremely hard not to scrape the penis with the upper teeth. I’ve got this large thing in my mouth, and the longer the act goes the more tired my jaw gets, which leads to an increased risk of hurting him with my teeth. Cover your teeth with your lips. For an exaggeration of what I mean, make a face like you’re pretending you’re someone with no teeth. Do that (only not so exaggerated) when you’re performing fellatio. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/66 "2009-10-08T00:50:13Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > Now this is just plain annoying. You think it’s ok for our mouths but not yours? I dated a guy who thought like that but not for long… I don’t see what one has to do with the other. I don’t happen to like the taste of it. If you don’t like it, don’t give blowjobs. > [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > And yes, I enjoy kissing a man after he’s gone down on me. What about after he just finished eating out your asshole? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/67 "2009-10-08T02:34:20Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What about after he just finished eating out your asshole? That’s disgusting. It’s a free country, and if you’re into to it then have at it, but yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/68 "2009-10-08T02:58:06Z")
> [@Kalypso](#): > > Cover your teeth with your lips. For an exaggeration of what I mean, make a face like you’re pretending you’re someone with no teeth. Do that (only not so exaggerated) when you’re performing fellatio. But my teeth will hurt my lips, plus how the hell would I get enough saliva going on? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/69 "2009-10-08T03:30:58Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > -Once I start coming/just finish coming, go easy on the head. It’s extremely sensitive and if you overdo it at that moment, you’ll short circuit the orgasm. While I agree with this, I have found that if a woman starts sucking again after the orgasm is over the sensation is out of this world. > [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > Now this is just plain annoying. You think it’s ok for our mouths but not yours? I dated a guy who thought like that but not for long… > > And yes, I enjoy kissing a man after he’s gone down on me. I for one have zero problem kissing a girl after my orgasm. ETA: This is post #69 in this thread, what do I win? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/70 "2009-10-08T06:56:37Z")
I’m a man. I have never been brought to orgasm via oral sex. I have not had that many partners, but the ones I have had, well, I’m guessing a lack of enthusiasm is the main problem. Other than that, I wouldn’t know what a good one was. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/71 "2009-10-08T07:09:30Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > A bad blow job is one where the giver is silently saying “Hurry up and COME already!!”. It always shows. This. And yes, it ALWAYS shows, and it . . . sucks. Also, teeth can be a very bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/72 "2009-10-08T12:13:45Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > But my teeth will hurt my lips, plus how the hell would I get enough saliva going on? They won’t, and you practice “strategic drooling”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/73 "2009-10-08T13:36:42Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > That’s disgusting. It’s a free country, and if you’re into to it then have at it, but yuck. My point exactly. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/74 "2009-10-08T14:03:12Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > My point exactly. Nope. Lousy point. Point not made. Assholes, being the exit point of your colon, carry quite the bacterial load and can potentially cause an infection. Sperm does not carry E. coli and other bacteria. Ergo, they are not the same in one’s mouth. (Or partner’s mouth.) The two are therefore not similar enough for you to be able to make a point. (For the record, I have no problems kissing after either giving or receiving oral. ATM, not so much.) ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/75 "2009-10-08T15:02:51Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Best (somewhat rare): No hand at all used: deep throat with swallowing (see point 12 above). A mindblowing experience that leaves one flapping around like a fish washed up on the shores of Lake Ecstacy. My late wife to a ‘T’ Oh God I do miss her and not just for BJs I hasten to add ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/76 "2009-10-08T16:02:13Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > My late wife to a ‘T’ I’m very sorry for your loss. > [@](#): > > Oh God I do miss her and not just for BJs I hasten to add I’m sure, but that sounds like more than reason enough. Again, sorry for your loss, and - after the pain of her loss dulls enough, I hope you can find love again. But you probably won’t find another woman with your late wife’s skill. Seriously, on behalf of all other men, that would be asking too much. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Assholes, being the exit point of your colon, carry quite the bacterial load and can potentially cause an infection. Am I going to be the only person to come here and defend anilingus, aka “rimming”? A freshly showered and scrubbed asshole is as clean as any other part of the body. And licking one can (in my experience) produce _astounding_ orgasms. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/77 "2009-10-08T16:49:19Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > Prompted by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=532890) and mostly because I can’t believe no one asked it - is there such a thing as a “bad” blow job? If so, what constitutes one? And what constitutes a “good” blow job? They’re all bad. I really don’t like mouths as erogenous areas. I’m not much for open-mouthed kissing either. There’s food particles between your teeth and a rug of foodgunk on your tongue and it’s bacteria city in there. Hell no. Unless you just gargled with scalding hot coffee your mouth is going to be too cool for the experience to be at all pleasant. Don’t care for your face being way down there, I like to see faces, I like to see facial expressions. It’s not a simultaneous/mutual expeirence unless we opt for an even more ridiculous body arrangement. Do something else, please. Not that. I know you mean well so thanks…but not thanks. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/78 "2009-10-08T17:19:36Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > My point exactly. But urine is sterile, and sperm/vaginal juices safe (assuming a clean partner). Crap, is nasty, and septic. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/79 "2009-10-08T17:33:20Z")
Which would seem to be an excellent argument for not sticking your tongue up someone’s ass, and a terrible argument for expecting someone to stick their tongue up your ass and then refusing to kiss them. The issue here isn’t the relative ickyness of the secretion involved, it’s the fact that if you expect someone to take that secretion into their mouth, you should be willing to do the same. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872/80 "2009-10-08T17:39:50Z")
That’s like saying that if a man can sick his penis in the woman’s mouth, then the woman should be able to penetrate a man’s mouth with a strap-on. Sex isn’t about total equality, men and women do have different plumbing and different mindsets. And everybody has different likes and dislikes. I don’t require my gf to kiss me after I perform oral on her, but luckily she doesn’t mind her own taste. OTOH, I’m not gonna french kiss her after she does all-the-way oral on me. Just personal preference. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-men-blow-jobs-good-vs-bad/512872.md?page=5)