# For the Doper Parents - "Go the F@%k to sleep" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551 "2011-05-03T06:08:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/1 "2011-05-03T06:08:44Z")
A new book, being published later this year, speaks to the frustration experienced by parents through the ages of a child that just won’t go to sleep. My almost two-year-old is going through this at the moment, waking around midnight and taking an hour or so to settle down again, so I really enjoyed it… Here is a sample verse: > [@](#): > > The cats nestle close to their kittens now. > The lambs have laid down with the sheep. > You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear > Please go the fuck to sleep. [Preorder from Amazon now](http://www.amazon.com/Go-Fuck-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/1617750255)!!! Grim ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/2 "2011-05-03T06:57:47Z")
I think I’ll be buying that title in a few months - we’ve got baby # 4 to pop any day now. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/3 "2011-05-03T07:55:46Z")
Oh I love it. That is incredibly awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/4 "2011-05-03T12:20:53Z")
> [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](#): > > I think I’ll be buying that title in a few months - we’ve got baby # 4 to pop any day now. Still coffee deprived, I misread this post and thought you’d said you had “baby #4 poop” which made me wonder what kind of gauge a “#4 poop” was. Is a #4 poop based on size? Hardness, like a #2 pencil? Richter Scale? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/5 "2011-05-03T12:37:06Z")
Too funny. I’m at an age now where none of my friends have young kids, or I would have to buy it for _someone_. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/6 "2011-05-03T12:59:51Z")
That is great. Squeaky is moving in on two as well. What the hell is it about two-year-olds and not wanting to go the fuck to sleep? All three of the boys have gone through this. They go to bed easily and sleep right on through the night up until about a month before their second birthday. All of a sudden they’re like: “Sleep? Fuck that. That shit’s for suckers.” Ah well, that’s why god created Thorazine. ---
**Author:** ![Elysium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3be4f8/32.png) [@Elysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysium)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/7 "2011-05-03T13:11:06Z")
Saw this a few days ago and loved it, such a great book idea. My 10 month old still hates to sleep, and has not yet slept through the night. Maybe the rhymes will help Mr. Elysium and I not to explode from exhaustion. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/8 "2011-05-03T13:20:12Z")
My 16 year old STILL won’t sleep. I think I’ll be buying this book. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/9 "2011-05-03T13:24:56Z")
Yeah, a friend sent me a link to this a couple days ago. It’s what I want for Mother’s Day. I was reciting that verse over and over to myself between midnight and 3:00 this morning. I love that little bugger, but seriously. No one’s having any fun at that hour, kiddo. Just go the fuck to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/10 "2011-05-03T13:33:37Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Yeah, a friend sent me a link to this a couple days ago. It’s what I want for Mother’s Day. I was reciting that verse over and over to myself between midnight and 3:00 this morning. I love that little bugger, but seriously. No one’s having any fun at that hour, kiddo. Just go the fuck to sleep. Crap … _pre_-order. The Dudeling has been sleeping though the night since three months, but now that he’s rounding out on two years, some of the above comments sound like where we’re heading. I think it’s because he can now go _get_ toys (instead of us waving entertainment in front of his formerly cabbage-like blob of self) that he’s never quite ready to hit the hay. Would have made a great mother’s day gift. Er, probably not the only one, but a good addition. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/11 "2011-05-03T19:25:20Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > My 16 year old STILL won’t sleep. I think I’ll be buying this book. Bonus: she’s of the age where you can read it together! ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/12 "2011-05-04T03:57:45Z")
I have a coworker whose sons will be three and one when this is released. I think I’ll have to buy this for her for Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/13 "2011-05-04T06:53:22Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > Still coffee deprived, I misread this post and thought you’d said you had “baby #4 poop” which made me wonder what kind of gauge a “#4 poop” was. > > Is a #4 poop based on size? Hardness, like a #2 pencil? Richter Scale? There’s a scale for [everything](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale). A #4 poop is: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/14 "2011-05-04T06:58:46Z")
I am so getting that for my oldest daughter when she presents us with a grandchild (might be a few years yet.) Considering what she did to us … ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/15 "2011-05-04T08:07:22Z")
Ha! My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 4 months. 😕 At that point,\* I \*had trouble going to sleep. I was still in the habit of checking to see if he was breathing. He’s actually sleeping next to me now. We’ve shared a bed on and off and now it’s ‘on’. I still check to see if he’s breathing if I wake up. :o ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/16 "2011-05-04T12:22:31Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > There’s a scale for [everything](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale). A #4 poop is: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft There’s a mental image to go with the morning coffee! What number is the “Am I turning into a rabbit?” poop? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/17 "2011-05-04T14:13:26Z")
That would be a type #1 poop, **Eats\_Crayons**. OK sorry I’ll stop threadshitting. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/18 "2011-05-04T14:22:06Z")
I never read this book. But damn if I didn’t say the title every night for a year. She’s 12 now. Still doesn’t sleep nights. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/19 "2011-05-04T16:02:55Z")
I think the sequel should be called “Because I Fucking Said So !” ---
**Author:** ![Elysium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3be4f8/32.png) [@Elysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysium)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551/20 "2011-05-05T15:00:56Z")
> [@dawson](#): > > I think the sequel should be called “Because I Fucking Said So !” Or “Because I’m your Fucking Mother/Father!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-parents-go-the-f-k-to-sleep/580551.md?page=2)