# For the Doper Women - Cunnilingus: good vs. bad **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 8, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085 "2009-10-08T18:18:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Captain\_Awesome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Captain\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Awesome)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/21 "2009-10-08T22:03:21Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > If you would like to use your hands (no need to), 1 or 2 is plenty. Please try not to thrust them in clumsily. Is there no synergistic advantage in combining with G-spot stimulation? Any success with the U-spot or AFE zone? Also breath mints/ice yay or nay? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/22 "2009-10-08T22:19:47Z")
U-spot? AFE zone? Now you’re just making things up! ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/23 "2009-10-08T22:19:49Z")
I’ll second **Olives** advice. I love the way having someone’s tongue inside me feels. I also like having a guy’s fingers inside while he’s focusing on my clitoris. Never tried the breath mint thing - I would think it might burn. Also, pouring some champagne on there and licking it off is fun however that tends to make a (bigger) mess in the bed. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/24 "2009-10-08T22:21:48Z")
Oy, I can’t believe I’m posting here. But, in the spirit of fighting ignorance: 1. If you’re going to use fingers, pleeeeease keep your nails short. Hubby’s guitar-strumming hand is not enough to make me go “Ouch!”, but it IS enough for me to go, “Ooh, uh, what’s that?” --and not in a good way. 2. Ditto shaving the face. If you have a full beard or other facial hair, that’s fine, but stubble is really distracting. 3. Personally–I like a little digital stimulation. G-spot, a small vibrator, fingers…all good. Oof, graphic now, but put 1-2 fingers in (palm up) and _gently_ do the “come here” gesture. Turn the hand around and try it working the far wall of the vagina as well. 4. Breath mints and ice have no noticeable effect that I’ve seen. 5. I actually like if a guy (er, hubby in particular) is so turned on he wants to touch himself with the other hand. That’s great! Just…don’t lose focus, mkay? 6. As a woman, I tend to be slower to warm up than the male folk. Don’t go straight to the clit–work your way there with a slow, gentle, teasing approach. 7. Enjoy it. It says a LOT that he offers, that he enjoys, that he loves it as much as he does. Ugh. I’m a fortunate woman. When is hubby getting home? Whew… ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/25 "2009-10-08T22:55:03Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I want you to calm the fuck down. Not \*you \*you, the general you. You’re not gaining any points by jack hammering my vagina with your mouth. Pretend like it’s not going to disappear if you stop attacking it for .05 seconds. Other than that, have at it. Yes. Ow. Finesse, please. A clitoris is not a penis. Same nerve endings, but a whoooooole lot more concentrated. I can signal you to give me more, faster, harder, but heavy-handed overstimulation is an ultimate orgasm-killer for me. > [@Ruffian](#): > > 1. Personally–I like a little digital stimulation. G-spot, a small vibrator, fingers…all good. Oof, graphic now, but put 1-2 fingers in (palm up) and _gently_ do the “come here” gesture. Turn the hand around and try it working the far wall of the vagina as well. Be careful to start slowly. I like the feeling of motion, or gentle stroking or pressing, but _gentle_ is the key word. Too-hard-too-fast with that “come here” gesture makes me instantly nauseated (not good). Sometimes dudes get carried away and want to pound and claw with their fingers with the same vigorous intensity that they would their cock, and that is _ **heywtfOWNOTOKAY** _. > [@](#): > > 1. I actually like if a guy (er, hubby in particular) is so turned on he wants to touch himself with the other hand. That’s great! Just…don’t lose focus, mkay? Yes! Also, if I should reposition so as to stroke(etc) you simultaneously, please do not instantly, upon me touching your penis, fall back, get all glassyeyed, and slack-jawed, and forget that my vagina exists. Me touching your penis is not a secret signal that vagina-time has ended. > [@](#): > > 1. As a woman, I tend to be slower to warm up than the male folk. Don’t go straight to the clit–work your way there with a slow, gentle, teasing approach. Word ;). And double-word to **olives** ’ commentary with the long, slow licks with the flat surface of your tongue. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/26 "2009-10-09T00:11:54Z")
> [@](#): > > New question: how many fingers is too many fingers? Eleven? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/27 "2009-10-09T01:26:55Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Eleven? You go up to 11? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/28 "2009-10-09T01:27:42Z")
No, he just made ten the most. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/29 "2009-10-09T01:43:48Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > New question: how many fingers is too many fingers? Depends on what you’re doing and how thick your fingers are. Two is good for most encounters in any orifice I allow you to penetrate, but start with one first. Also, don’t smack my clitoris with your hand-- it’s incredibly unsexy, and if you do it too hard, it hurts. (Does anyone actually enjoy this?) Remember how much you like a wet mouth when receiving fellatio? I like a wet mouth when receiving cunnilingus as well. Ditto on the “gentle French kiss” method of oral sex, but don’t worry as much about getting wacky with your tongue movements; you’ll know when I like it and want more if you listen for my reactions. Once I get to a certain point, though, a flicking motion is VERY nice. Though digital stimulation is nice, I really prefer the tongue, as it’s gentler on my clitoris. Fingers often feel like sandpaper down there, especially if they’re not lubed enough. If you lick me enough just under the spot where my hood and clitoris meet at the bottom, you’ll make me squirt every time. If you don’t like this, that’s okay-- it’s not as intense as a regular orgasm, but some guys think it’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/30 "2009-10-09T02:57:54Z")
The underside of the clit seems to be more sensitive in my experience. Good advice here. One thing I read a long time ago was to relax your tongue. Go about it as though you were licking an ice cream cone. Some of us like actual sucking on our clit and pretty vigorous activities, others prefer the more gentle approach. The best advice here is LISTEN. If you’re doing something and your partner goes “mmmmmm”, then do it some more! Women, TELL your partner what you like either verbally or physically, don’t just lay there in silence expecting them to know what pleasures you. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/31 "2009-10-09T03:12:53Z")
Gentle sucking drives me wild! Varied rhythm is awesome. The only other tip I can offer is that after I orgasm, I become so sensitive that any further stimulation is uncomfortable. A last kiss after the moaning and back-arching is over is all that’s needed to finish. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/32 "2009-10-09T03:48:43Z")
> [@nashiitashii](#): > > Also, don’t smack my clitoris with your hand-- it’s incredibly unsexy, and if you do it too hard, it hurts. (Does anyone actually enjoy this?) As a long time porn viewer, this appeared out of the blue and spread through the entire genre. I’m pretty sure it was invented, or at least popularized, by porn star Nina Hartley. I don’t like seeing it and would never include it in my repertoire of moves simply because it fails the Golden Rule of Sex - _Never Do Unto Someone Else’s Genitals Anything You Would Not Have Them Do Unto Yours_. I can’t imagine enjoying anyone slapping my dick around so I don’t slap the clitoris. Porn is a terrible source of information about sexual techniques in general, but cunnilingus in particular, because it’s so “cheated” for camera angles. I consider myself somewhat lucky as, for some reason I’ve never understood, nearly every woman I dated was bisexual, and all of those women had performed cunnilingus. So I paid attention and was very open to instruction and (according to my wife) learned well. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/33 "2009-10-09T04:03:44Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The whole goddamn board has an oral fixation this week. > > So do I. I believe [Shakira](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_Fixation_Vol._2) has an oral fixation as well. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/34 "2009-10-09T05:44:17Z")
Bad things: - doing the same thing over and over and over. Vary your techniques, gentlemen. - treating the clitoris like a hamster treats its water bottle. - focusing on the clitoris and ignoring all else. - believing you have The One Magic Satisfies All Women Every Time technique. - getting all obsessed about making her squirt. - getting all obsessed about making her come. Good things: - trying different things in different places. - manipulating the entire vulva gently with your fingers. - long, slow, tender licks along the entire length. - special attention to the opening of the vagina. It’s loaded with nerve ends. - special attention to the inside of the thighs. - making noises which communicate your enjoyment. - complimenting on taste, tightness, or other qualities you enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/35 "2009-10-09T13:27:27Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I went out with a guy once who liked to bite my lip (on my face) pretty hard. I guess the pulling away and groans of discomfort weren’t enough of a clue for him, so I had to stop him and say, “Please don’t do that.” It was kind of unsexy and killed the mood, but having my bottom lip bitten hard was killing my mood. It hurt. Ouch. I don’t get it. I once dated someone who thought sucking on my tongue really hard was a funny joke. She sucked on it so hard that she drew blood. Definite mood killer right there. I was spitting out blood for about an hour, and she was laughing about it the whole time. Needless to say, I didn’t keep her in my life for long. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/36 "2009-10-09T13:36:09Z")
Re: the breath mints thing- it’s a personal preference. My wife keeps a tin of Wintergreen Altoids in her nightstand for this purpose, and occasionally when I’m downtown she’ll hand me a few. She says the warmth of my mouth and the coolness of the wintergreen produce some sensations that put her over the edge. She also likes what I can best describe as the ‘bowling ball technique’ while I suck on her clit, but I don’t know how any other women feel about it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/37 "2009-10-09T13:38:25Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > She also likes what I can best describe as the ‘bowling ball technique’ while I suck on her clit, but I don’t know how any other women feel about it. :dubious: Stick two fingers and a thumb in her and toss her down the hallway? That’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/38 "2009-10-09T13:52:47Z")
Might have to try the Altoids thing. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/39 "2009-10-09T14:06:39Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Bad things: > > - doing the same thing over and over and over. Vary your techniques, gentlemen. > - treating the clitoris like a hamster treats its water bottle. > - focusing on the clitoris and ignoring all else. > - believing you have The One Magic Satisfies All Women Every Time technique. > - getting all obsessed about making her squirt. > - getting all obsessed about making her come. > > Good things: > > - trying different things in different places. > - manipulating the entire vulva gently with your fingers. > - long, slow, tender licks along the entire length. > - special attention to the opening of the vagina. It’s loaded with nerve ends. > - special attention to the inside of the thighs. > - making noises which communicate your enjoyment. > - complimenting on taste, tightness, or other qualities you enjoy. This would make the best _Goofus and Gallant_ installment ever. And I thank all you ladies for the direct, easy-to-understand answers. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085/40 "2009-10-09T14:25:00Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Well… if you hear “mmmmmmmmmm”, keep going. If you hear “mmm followed by anything that sounds kinda gulpy”, you’re probably at capacity. Either that’s poorly punctuated, or you’re a bit of a weirdo in bed. If a woman I was pleasuring said “mmm followed by anything that sounds kinda gulpy!”, I’d probably stop and back away a bit. “Okaaaaay, well, you’ve been great. Gotta run, he said as he searched for his pants. Wait, did I just say that out loud?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-doper-women-cunnilingus-good-vs-bad/513085.md?page=3)