# For the first time ever, I feel offended **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 5, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740 "2004-10-05T22:03:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/1 "2004-10-05T22:03:36Z")
> **[Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) - Help, hope & community...](https://www.pfox.org/)** > > Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) is a national non-profit organization committed to helping ex-gays and parents and friends of gays who want help, hope and community. That billboard is up near where I live. Never have I ever before felt offended. That’s about all. ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/2 "2004-10-05T22:08:54Z")
Oh, let me elaborate a bit. > [@](#): > > “We put up this billboard so that people will know the truth – that you don’t have to be homosexual if you don’t want to be. We’re hoping this ad will bring about public awareness, respect and tolerance.” This goes against everything I believe. The APA may contend that there is no proven biological cause of homosexuality, but it also agrees that it is not a mental disease or illness. If you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re straight, you’re straight. If you’re bi, you’re bi. You may be able to decieve yourself later that you no longer desire what you innately do, but that doesn’t actually change it. Or, you may later realize that you were fooling yourself all along and that you’re actually straight, because just about everyone does go through a sexual experimentation period. But this? Please. And then to advertise a promotion for respect and tolerance, right after they admit that they’re simply countering the gay rights movement. How the hell are we at all offending “ex-gays” by wanting equality for ourselves? I’m considering one of two options: buying space and placing a similar “you don’t have to be straight if you don’t want to be” billboard directly across from this one, or organizing opposition in the area to pressure its removal. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/3 "2004-10-05T22:12:08Z")
It hardly needs to be said, friend **caphas** , but if you are going to be offended by irrationality and dishonesty you are going to spend an undue amount of time huffing and puffing in indignation. It’s sort of a waste of effort. ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/4 "2004-10-05T22:15:55Z")
> [@Spavined Gelding](#): > > It hardly needs to be said, friend **caphas** , but if you are going to be offended by irrationality and dishonesty you are going to spend an undue amount of time huffing and puffing in indignation. It’s sort of a waste of effort. I’m not offended by the irrationality and dishonesty; just the public presence of such. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/5 "2004-10-05T22:17:38Z")
**SG:** _[…] if you are going to be offended by irrationality and dishonesty you are going to spend an undue amount of time huffing and puffing in indignation. It’s sort of a waste of effort._ If you want to go through with it anyway, though, posting a rant in the BBQ Pit is definitely the right step to take. It’s almost as though that’s what the Pit was created for! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/6 "2004-10-05T22:17:57Z")
I hereby nominate _“Ex-Gay to Perform at Republican National Convention”_ as one of the all-time great press release titles. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/7 "2004-10-05T22:23:19Z")
Just think about how big an organization of ex-straight people would be. Maybe you can raise money to erect a billboard near this one that says “Over xx-million ex-straights prove that change is possible. Remember, just because one was raised “straight” doesn’t mean that one cannot improve one’s lot.” ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/8 "2004-10-05T22:28:25Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I hereby nominate _“Ex-Gay to Perform at Republican National Convention”_ as one of the all-time great press release titles. Yeah, my first thought was “Oh, what’s he gonna perform? _Cunnilingus?_” ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/9 "2004-10-05T22:32:16Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Just think about how big an organization of ex-straight people would be. Maybe you can raise money to erect a billboard near this one that says “Over xx-million ex-straights prove that change is possible. Remember, just because one was raised “straight” doesn’t mean that one cannot improve one’s lot.” That’s exactly what a number of pro-gay groups in the area are considering, if we fall on deaf ears from the advertising agency that owns the billboard as well as the city council. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/10 "2004-10-05T22:40:27Z")
**caphis** , **Shibb** , I would seriously drive down to wherever you are to help put that billboard up. ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/11 "2004-10-05T22:44:45Z")
Heh… you rock. Right now, we’re all waiting to hear back from the advertising agency that owns the billboard. Then we’ll go from there. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/12 "2004-10-05T22:50:39Z")
> [@caphis](#): > > That’s exactly what a number of pro-gay groups in the area are considering, if we fall on deaf ears from the advertising agency that owns the billboard as well as the city council. 😃 Well, if this fails then you can always forward it to The Onion; it’s ripe for parody. **Kythereia** , **Caphis** seems to be in Richmond, Virgina. I’m in the Tampa Bay area, so not so close to him/her. We don’t have any billboards like that down here, as far as I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/13 "2004-10-05T23:00:32Z")
Good luck, **caphis**! _crosses fingers_ **Shibb** , I’ve seen Tampa Bay briefly (driving past on our way down to the Keys for a Florida vacation a few years ago) and it was beautiful. Now you have to come up to Canada in return 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/14 "2004-10-06T00:09:42Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Just think about how big an organization of ex-straight people would be. Maybe you can raise money to erect a billboard near this one that says “Over xx-million ex-straights prove that change is possible. Remember, just because one was raised “straight” doesn’t mean that one cannot improve one’s lot.” Heh, that’s a pretty funny take on it. But to be fair, it can imply the wrong message, that one way is “better” than the other. The reason the billboard from the OP is so offensive (IMO) is that it is used by people to say, “here’s proof that it’s possible to ‘overcome’ your sexual orientation, so gay people have no right to claim protected status since they can change if they want to.” In other words, you chose to be gay, so live with it and stop your bitching. People need to realize that we’re not whining and moaning saying, “I can’t not be gay, so have pity on me and treat me as an equal.” We’re saying, “whether we can change or not is irrelevant. We shouldn’t be expected to.” – **SolGrundy** , ruining the joke by stating the obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/15 "2004-10-06T00:37:12Z")
> [@caphis](#): > > That’s exactly what a number of pro-gay groups in the area are considering, if we fall on deaf ears from the advertising agency that owns the billboard as well as the city council. 😃 That advertising agency would, unfortunately, be Lamar, one of the big 3 in boards (and looking to grow, see attached article.) [http://www.mediaweek.co.uk/articles/2004/6/29/Lamarbillboard](http://www.mediaweek.co.uk/articles/2004/6/29/Lamarbillboard) I live in a conservative, large town (Dallas), and I just really can’t imagine the outcry if one of those went up - I, for one, would be truly outraged as well. But then, there’s no more room here on the side of our highways, what with all the strip club billboards. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/16 "2004-10-06T00:40:40Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > **caphis** , **Shibb** , I would seriously drive down to wherever you are to help put that billboard up. I call shotgun, except for that whole drive up vs. down thing… ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/17 "2004-10-06T00:41:24Z")
Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but that guy on the billboard really looks gay. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/18 "2004-10-06T00:41:39Z")
Alright I know I promised I wouldn’t post in gay threads anymore so I’ll try to be as least abrasive as possible. What’s wrong if a gay person WANTS to be straight? (for what ever reasons) I would think for THAT person it would be nice to know there is help out there. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/19 "2004-10-06T00:48:08Z")
So what your saying is that if I want to become Asian, there’s a group out there that’ll help me? What I’m trying to tell you is that homosexuality is NOT A CHOICE. If it were, why would so many people take the mental and physical abuse that they have to endure for their sexuality? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740/20 "2004-10-06T00:48:36Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > What’s wrong if a gay person WANTS to be straight? (for what ever reasons) I would think for THAT person it would be nice to know there is help out there. What’s wrong is with the ideas that A) a person can choose to be gay (that’s “can choose to be inexplicably attracted to members of their own sex”), B) there’s something wrong with it necessitating the notion that they should want to be anything else, C) this billboard represents anything approaching respect (that one doesn’t _have_ to be something inherently implies that there is something wrong with it in this case), tolerance (we should all of us who aren’t straight just choose to be so), truth (need I say more?) or awareness (ditto). That’s a short list. Doubtless other people will have more. Gay people do not generally cease being attracted to members of their own sex. So-called “reparative therapy” starts out with so many false premises, lies, self-hate and other undesirables that it might as well be called “Living a Lie: How to Deny and Hate Yourself.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-first-time-ever-i-feel-offended/267740.md?page=2)