# For the Guys: Would You Do This? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648 "2003-02-04T04:15:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/41 "2003-02-04T19:56:36Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Giraffe_ > “See, now I can jerk off any time I want and _you_ can’t stop me!!” > > ::goes off to be wise somewhere else:: I’m not sure whether this would make a better sig or a fortune cookie. Otherwise, yeah. Pretty much. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/42 "2003-02-04T19:57:23Z")
I have a friend who is a martial arts instructor. One thing that hasn’t been taking into account is that it is apparantly common for women to get a crush on their instructor. For him, it averaged out to more than one a class, and I would rate him as average in looks - but I have plenty of proof I’m a poor judge. (And there marital status didn’t seem to matter. It did to him, but not necessarily them.) So, I think she might need to take into account how often he may have been hit on. I had a friend who girls just couldn’t resist. He actually walked up to a girl and say “So, do you want to f$ck”, and they did. But, all he really wanted was a serious relationship, and he had trouble finding girls that wanted that. (Oddly ironic, eh?) Finally, I was a young looking 21 when I met the woman who became my wife. She was 28. It bothered her a lot more than me. Now that I am over 40, I gotta say 21 year old girls have a lot of appeal. And from the comments women I know make, they wouldn’t mind the 21 year old guys either. Certainly not for a just sex relationship. I say she is in the same situation as us guys. It does take guts (not balls!) to ask someone out. You never get used to rejection. But without the guts, you never succeed. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/43 "2003-02-04T20:02:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > **Also, she is terrified of being rejected, having put herself out there (so to speak) in so blatant a manner.** You mean, she terrified of trying (albeit in a more forward manner) what guys do _all the time?_ Geez. It’s a good thing propagating the species is not solely up to women. We’d die out! \*\* > [@](#): > > Is the age thing a barrier here, guys? She’s in her early thirties, and she thinks he could be as young as 21-22. Do guys that age find women a decade older hot? Or would they find her scary/pathetic/desperate? \*\* Some guys do. The majority don’t, unless she’s Jennifer Lopez. Your friend made the right decision. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/44 "2003-02-04T20:34:43Z")
“Some guys do. The majority don’t” That’s because the majority of 21-22 year old guys are idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/45 "2003-02-04T20:41:06Z")
I wouldn’t do it. I have to have the relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/46 "2003-02-04T21:22:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*“Some guys do. The majority don’t” > > That’s because the majority of 21-22 year old guys are idiots. \*\* That’s like saying “men who don’t like redheads are idiots.” Why impose a judgement on random matters of taste? It is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/47 "2003-02-04T21:26:53Z")
I would just like to say to **Rubystreak** that you must keep up informed on what happens. Please! I really need that sort of thing now. Ok maybe that was TMI. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/48 "2003-02-05T00:21:19Z")
I asked her to describe this guy, and frankly, I don’t think he’s drop dead gorgeous. She even admits he’s “a little funny looking” but he has some things she likes, his build, coloring, the way he’s so gentle with the younger students. No other adult women in the class, btw. Asked her if she gets any “vibe” from him, and she says she can’t tell. He seems shy, and she’s not exactly the paragon of gutsiness either. I guess she wanted to buy the uniform thingie, and he asked what size she was, and she gestured to her body and said, “Eyeball it.” He could barely look at her, seemed kinda embarrassed. Not sure if that’s significant. She’s worried that he’s ridiculously young. Also, I guess technically there is no “last class”-- that was made up by our guy friend who proposed this whole idea. She’d have to see him after this either way. Ugh. She says she wishes this whole thing had never come up. She likes watching him twice a week in class, she likes thinking about him, and knowing him as a person might ruin that. Personally, I think she’s nuts, but whatever. Here’s the other aspect of this thing that I thought of-- let’s say they do get it on (which seems rather unlikely). What if it’s lousy? How embarrassing, and that would certainly make class awkward. What if it’s good? Then they’ll want to do it again, and then it’s not casual anymore, is it? Dating and all this crap is too complicated. You married people, be glad you’re shut of it. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/49 "2003-02-05T00:33:23Z")
This isn’t dating, this is a fling. She shouldn’t do it if she plans to keep going to the class. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/50 "2003-02-05T00:44:37Z")
Vulnerability sucks. At the same time, if your friend is interested in getting to know this guy, it’s up to her to bust a move. Regarding an older woman, I can personally relate to learning a tremendous amount from ladies 10 years my senior. If this guy can think with his big head, he’ll accept her offer in a heartbeat. She might be disappointed, but it comes down to the point expressed by hockey great Gordie Howe, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/51 "2003-02-05T00:50:28Z")
yep. * * * Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/52 "2003-02-05T00:50:40Z")
“That’s like saying “men who don’t like redheads are idiots.” Why impose a judgement on random matters of taste? It is what it is.” It isn’t a matter of taste, it is a matter of inexperience. No one 21 or 22 years old has enough life experience to be that interesting (in or out of bed). Women who are older are more self-assured, more emotionally mature, and much better lovers (in my experience). And to quote Mae West, “Young men can do it all night. Of course, they don’t have the slightest idea of what they’re doing, but they can do it all night.” ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/53 "2003-02-05T02:01:52Z")
OK, well, my friend is going to take some convincing. Anyone know a foolproof way to find out if a guy has a girlfriend a) without tipping your hand and b) in a very short amount of time (apparently they don’t really converse so much as exchange sentences). I really want her to do something about this, but she’s chicken. Not that I blame her. This whole thing could be real awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Texican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@Texican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Texican)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/54 "2003-02-05T13:19:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > \*\*Does the age difference factor into it? I didn’t want to say this to my friend, but as a 30something woman myself, I have serious doubts about whether a 20something guy would go for a woman my age, when he could be dating nubile 18 year olds. > > I’d love to hear from some actually 20ish guys, if there are any out there… This is all very interesting to me. \*\* I didn’t think you were talking about dating, I thought you were talking about wild monkey sex. When I was in my 20’s, I was lucky to learn the advantages that an older woman brings. One your age is looking for marriage, while one 10 years older is looking for fun. Plus, she probably knows a lot of tricks you haven’t even thought of yet, as well as being more likely to try out all those kinky things you have been reading about that girls your own age wouldn’t even consider. Lets see… Girl your age = dates, the whole sex negotiation thing (“what do I mean to you?”), and all the other complications. Older woman = fun, fun, fun with no strings attached. Sounds good to me. BTW, when I was in my mid 20’s, I ended up marrying a woman in her mid 30’s because she was way more fun in more ways than sex than the girls my age who were all eyeing you as potential father material rather than just as yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/55 "2003-02-05T13:29:51Z")
I say she should go for it. When I was a young twentysomething, most of my whack-off fantasies were less attractive than this, and as for real life, don’t be silly. Maybe a beer and a burger first to allow a _little_ time to chat and find out if he has a S.O., but definitely go for it. Nobody gets to know if the horse is going to win before they place the bet, and I should think this lady’s in with a far better shout than I’d be in with a 22yo female. (I’d love to live on that planet where all the young girls care about is doing what the man wants, though.) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/56 "2003-02-05T14:21:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > **OK, well, my friend is going to take some convincing. Anyone know a foolproof way to find out if a guy has a girlfriend a) without tipping your hand and b) in a very short amount of time (apparently they don’t really converse so much as exchange sentences).** “So, my brother wants to get a Valentine’s gift for his girlfriend, but he’s clueless. What are you getting for your girlfriend?” ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/57 "2003-02-05T14:27:21Z")
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Seems simple enough to me. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/58 "2003-02-05T15:20:51Z")
No, I don’t do one night stands. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/59 "2003-02-05T15:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > “So, my brother wants to get a Valentine’s gift for his girlfriend, but he’s clueless. What are you getting for your girlfriend?” That will not work, seeing that it will be a _woman_ who is going to ask this question. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648/60 "2003-02-05T16:48:33Z")
“So, my brother wants to get a Valentine’s gift for his girlfriend, but he’s clueless _and so am I_. What are you getting for your girlfriend?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-guys-would-you-do-this/152648.md?page=4)