# For the ladies-being asked for sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2008, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233 "2008-05-06T01:48:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/21 "2008-05-06T15:10:45Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] A guy who propositions me when I’m \>this close\< to making the high score on a video game (and setting an arcade record) is \>this close\< to losing his balls. [/QUOTE] Make some allowances there. Dude’s so fascinated by the sight of a woman who plays video games and is good at it (every male nerd’s fantasy!) that it’s love at first sight! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/22 "2008-05-06T15:17:36Z")
[QUOTE=put down the sabre] Hey there, I often hear the expression ‘ask for sex’ and its cognates. I was wondering: [ol] [li]Have you ever been openly propositioned by someone you weren’t dating? No ‘wandering hands’ type subterfuge, but an open ‘would you like to have sex?’[/li][li]Did you go for it?[/li][li]How do you feel about such propositions in general?[/li][/ol] Thanks! pdts [/QUOTE] This is how **Acid Lamp** and I started our relationship in 2003. We did know each other as friendly acquaintances before it, but our dating started out as a mutual agreement to keep each other company in the bedroom on a semi-regular basis. It was more of a “hey, you need to get laid, and so do I. How about trying it on for size?” than a “hey, will you have sex with me?” desperation plea. It worked out well because I didn’t think he was creepy and was interested in him sexually. It’s all about gauging the other person’s potential reaction before jumping into something like this. Additionally, we were in college, and both had laissez-faire notions about sexual relationships at that time. It’s worked out pretty well, and we’re going to be married soon. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/23 "2008-05-06T15:23:17Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Cat] I didn’t realise sleazeball = rapist. [/QUOTE] I’m sorry to have so maligned America’s sleazeballs. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/24 "2008-05-06T15:27:20Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] I’m sorry to have so maligned America’s sleazeballs. [/QUOTE] Thank you. Apology accepted. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/25 "2008-05-06T15:27:36Z")
1. Yes 2. No 3. In the one time it happened to me it was not a stranger. I think if someone I didn’t actually know asked I’d be startled and a little creeped out. I think scenarios where two people aren’t interested in dating but still enjoy sex are how the phrase “friends with benefits” came to be coined. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/26 "2008-05-06T15:34:36Z")
1. Yes. 2. Ha ha haaaa. No. 3. If I wanted to have sex, we’d be having sex instead of a beer. Plus I’d prefer a ‘Do you want to fool around?’ Even then, I usually do the asking (and already know the answer). ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/27 "2008-05-06T16:34:14Z")
One of my parents’ favorite stories was of a party they attended (in the 1950s no less!). While my father was in the kitchen fixing himself a drink, the hostess hit on him. Meanwhile in the living room, the host hit on my mother. The couple was not invited to my parents’ next party. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/28 "2008-05-06T16:37:40Z")
1. Yes 2. No 3. I don’t believe there is a general in theses situation. I’ve been asked this by guys I wouldn’t want to sit in a chair they’d vacated where my reaction was “ugh! Gross! I can’t believe you would think that. I’m going to bleach my brain now.” I’ve been asked this by guys whose proposition was flattering. And I’ve been asked it by my (former) boss who I then had fired for sexual harrassment. I’ve been asked this repeatedly by a certain well known Science Fiction author every time I see him and have realized he doesn’t recognize me from time to time, he just asks everyone that meets his minimum standards and is therefore seldom lacking in female companionship. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/29 "2008-05-06T16:57:37Z")
How does one phrase such a proposition? “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/30 "2008-05-06T17:07:58Z")
[QUOTE=put down the sabre] Really? I was envisaging a scenario like this: you’re friends with a girl, having a few beers at your place or something. If a girl asked me, whether I said yes or no, I’d be flattered. pdts [/QUOTE] I would most definitely not be flattered. If a guy asked me, I would think I was simply the nearest warm hole and nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/31 "2008-05-06T17:42:48Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] How does one phrase such a proposition? “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” [/QUOTE] “I’ve noticed you around, I find you very attractive…Would you…?” In regard to sleazeballs, all rapists are sleazeballs, but not all sleazeballs are rapists. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/32 "2008-05-06T17:49:11Z")
[QUOTE=Nutty Bunny] I would most definitely not be flattered. If a guy asked me, I would think I was simply the nearest warm hole and nothing more. [/QUOTE] 😕 And you have a problem with that **why?!** (This must be one of those Mars-Venus things . . .) ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/33 "2008-05-06T19:26:25Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] 😕 And you have a problem with that **why?!** (This must be one of those Mars-Venus things . . .) [/QUOTE] I guess I like to be seen as a fuckable _person_ and not a random \*hole \* to fuck. I’m romantic like that. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/34 "2008-05-06T19:35:37Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] How does one phrase such a proposition? “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” [/QUOTE] Ok - I’ve heard that at least three times (no, not one I said yes to). Is that from a movie or something? [QUOTE=Nutty Bunny] I would most definitely not be flattered. If a guy asked me, I would think I was simply the nearest warm hole and nothing more. [/QUOTE] Well I didn’t say yes because I wanted to get to know him better as a person. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/35 "2008-05-06T19:47:33Z")
1. Yes 2. No 3. It depends entirely on the context and the man in question. Let’s just say that I’m not against it in principle, but the reality is often extremely disappointing. The most disappointing/creepy guy who asked me, got upset when I turned him down, claimed I wasn’t being a good friend, stopped talking to me, and then found himself a girlfriend who looked a bit like me. Guys, you can do it successfully, but I’d advise you only try with a woman who you know is attracted to you, enjoys no-strings sex, and feels safe around you. Even then, be gracious. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/36 "2008-05-06T20:15:21Z")
[QUOTE=phouka] The most disappointing/creepy guy who asked me, got upset when I turned him down, claimed I wasn’t being a good friend, stopped talking to me, and then found himself a girlfriend who looked a bit like me. [/QUOTE] Ah yes. Little is more revealing about a guy’s personality than his reaction when you turn him down. It’s amazing how many of them are truly, madly, deeply in love with your beautiful, amazing self one second then think you’re a snobby skank the next. If a (non-creepy) guy passed his proposition off as a joke, he’d have a lot more luck in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/37 "2008-05-06T20:22:41Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] …the guys who bluntly ask a stranger for sex are total sleazeballs. [/QUOTE] Hey! I resemble that remark! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/38 "2008-05-06T20:48:17Z")
[QUOTE=Nutty Bunny] I guess I like to be seen as a fuckable _person_ and not a random \*hole \* to fuck. I’m romantic like that. 😛 [/QUOTE] Trust me, if an attractive\* chick I randomly met were interested in me only as the only cock within reach, I’d be thrilled; most guys would. We’re romantic like **that.** 😉 \*And we’re not talking a high bar here, either. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/39 "2008-05-06T21:12:09Z")
Yes - The most memorable being “Wanna come with me and my mate for a hard shag?” No They’re usually pretty pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233/40 "2008-05-06T21:15:24Z")
I’m a guy so this wasn’t addressed to me, but I did once use the line, and it was accepted but I never got to collect. I was in a war and I had kind of been blown up and when I came to, there was this beautiful (at least I think she was beautiful) nurse bending over me reattaching an I.V. or something, and I said, “You’re really beautiful. Would you go to bed with me?” She said something to the effect of, “Yeah, sure,” and I passed out again. When I came to the next time, I was in a hospital in Japan and my body had been put back together again, but I am pretty sure I never got satisfaction from that nurse. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-ladies-being-asked-for-sex/448233.md?page=3)